Unforgettable

Do you even try to?

"Oh lord, please, make my Ant come back", he whispered.

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Ant woke up the next morning by the sound of his phone alarm clock. He had set the alarm to seven am due he wanted to make breakfast for him and Dec. After he had learned yesterday that Dec wasn't a genius in cooking he suspected that he used to make breakfast for them both and moreover he really enjoyed making breakfast. It was something like a proper start into the day, a daily routine where you could wake up and greet the day in a positive way.

So, Ant went to the bathroom first and after he had done... well, what you have to do in your morning routine, he went downstairs. He listened at Dec's door for a couple of seconds, finding that no sound escaped from it. "Must be a late riser", he smiled to himself while hurrying into the kitchen. He hummed the melody of Let's get ready to rhumble which was stuck in his head for some reason while putting toast into the toaster and taking other stuff and ingredients he needed for a full English Breakfast out of cupboards and fridge. About twenty minutes later, he was ready. The smell of scrambled eggs and bacon was lingering in the air and Ant had a look on his watch. Still no movement from Dec's room. He considered whether to let him sleep or to wake him up. Eventually, he decided for the last option, because the breakfast would get cold if Dec didn't appear within the next minutes. So, he went to knock on the guest room's door.

When there was no answer, he opened it carefully, expecting a soundly sleeping Declan on the bed. But what he saw instead made his jaw fall open. The bed was made neatly and on the covers lay a piece of paper that looked like it had been ripped out of a notebook. In hasty, slightly untidy but still nice handwriting, there were a few sentences thrown onto the paper. With trembling fingers, Ant took it and started to read:

Dear Ant,

thanks a lot for your hospitality. Please don't take it personal that I didn't say goodbye to you, but I just couldn't take it anymore. I lay awake half the night, wondering what to do. Don't get me wrong - I still love you, no matter what. But I just miss you so badly. Does that make sense? I really doubt it. But whatever. I don't want to make you upset but I can't upset meself either. It just tears me apart that you literally can't remember anything about us, that really hurts. I need space and I hope you understand. We have had a great time and I'll never forget that. Please, don't worry about me, you'll be fine.

With the love of all of my heart, Declan x

With wide eyes and his hands trembling even more, Ant read the words over and over. He really didn't know what to think. What Dec meant. I just can't take it anymore... We have had a great time... was this supposed to mean... No. Ant refused to finish that thought. Dec wouldn't do anything to himself. He wouldn't. He had a wife and a daughter. Surely he just needed time, that was too understandable, he needed space to figure things out. He just wanted to get away for a while, there was nothing wrong with that. But still... but still... Clutching the paper tightly in his hands, Ant got to get his phone. Dec had menchioned his wife's name, Ali, and Ant was sure that he had her contact number as well. And really, one of the first contacts said Ali. He pressed call with still trembling fingers, waiting impatiently fot the woman to pick up.

Surprisingly quick, there was a voice in the line. "Ant?" The man took a deep breath. "Hello Ali. Um, I'm sure you know what happened and yeah, I just wanted to know... is Dec with you?" The man closed his eyes while he waited for the response, hoping with every part of his body that she would say yes, but... "Eh... no, he slept at yours, didn't he?" The slight worry in the woman's voice made Ant feel even more guilty than he already felt. And more panicky as well. "Yeah, he slept here, at least he went to bed at mine", he hurried to answer, "but when I wanted to wake him he was gone! He just left a letter and I just don't know how to read anything out of it..." His voice trailed off as he tried to surpress his rising panic. If something happened that this was nobody's but his fault! The line was silent for a while, then Ali asked with slightly shaking voice: "What does he say in the letter, Ant?"