Raising Hell

12. Who Would Have Guessed I Would Be a Martyr

I meet up with Izzy and Jace in the training room to say goodbye to them. Both of them are gearing up, preparing for an attack. There are various weapons laid out on one of the tables along with Clary's necklace and the card containing the Cup.

"I need to talk to you," I say to Jace as I approach them.

"About what?" He turns away from Isabelle to face me.

"I have an idea to get Meliorn back," I look at Isabelle. "You won't have to betray anyone and all you have to do is trust me."

Isabelle glances at Jace, who shrugs and looks back at me. "What's your plan?"

"I'm going to turn myself in," I say quickly. For some reason, part of me believed that if I said it quick enough, both of them would just agree and let me do it.

"Absolutely not!" Jace says. When Isabelle doesn't say anything Jace looks at her. "We're not going to let her sacrifice herself!"

"It's her decision, Jace," Isabelle says. There is a certain edge to her voice that I have never heard before.

"No!" Jace looks at me with wide eyes. "I'm not going to let you throw your life away because you're heartbroken! You're not in the right state of mind to be making decisions like this!"

I almost laugh. Of course, the only time Jace cares about my well-being is when I'm about to fix everything. "I was Valentine's second-in-command, Jace. Meliorn is innocent," I explain. "I deserve to be locked up, Meliorn doesn't."

Jace sighs, looking at Isabelle. She gets the hint and excuses herself to wait outside. When she's gone, Jace crosses his arms and stands directly in front of me. "You're not going to sacrifice yourself. I won't let you."

"You're going up against your parabatai. Are you really willing to betray Alec?" I question him.

"Are you?" He turns my question back on me.

"I already did. Remember?" I state. "I'm doing this to save all of you from the Clave."

"No, you're doing this because you feel guilty," He corrects me.

"I am guilty!" I yell, causing Jace to lean away from me. "I already fought with Magnus about this, I am not about to fight you, too!"

Jace sighs but doesn't say anything.

"We have trained all our lives to be willing to sacrifice ourselves for the greater good. Now, I have the opportunity to do that," I say softly. "I'm a shitty Shadowhunter. This is the only way I can redeem myself."

Jace looks at me for a second. "So, what? You're just going to say your goodbyes and be out of our lives?"

I nod. "Hopefully."

"No one hopes for that, Adelia," Jace says. "You're our friend. None of us want to lose you."

I smile slightly and pull Jace into a hug, half-expecting him to push me away. To my surprise, he wraps his arms around me to return the hug. "Thank you, for being my friend."

"You're brave, Adelia," Jace says as we pull away. "One of the bravest Shadowhunters I know."

For a second, I believe him. There's something in his voice that is undeniably sure and confident. Hearing that Jace Wayland thinks I'm brave is a true compliment.

"But I'm not going to let you do this," he continues, bursting my bubble.

Well, it was worth a shot.

Jace, Izzy, and I meet Julian, Luke, Clary, and Simon at the Hotel Dumort. Apparently, Clary thought it was a good idea to hide in a place where everyone wanted to kill her. Though it's a good hiding place, I wouldn't necessarily consider it safe.