Cleverly

Complications

Cleverly awoke in the morning terrified. Terrified and sad and stressed and all the synonyms that meant those same things. She was feeling a lot of emotions. Too many to really feel anything at all. Sitting up in bed, she wanted to cry-- but nothing came out.

Cleverly looked around her dormitory. She looked at the four-poster beds, the trunks already packed and ready to depart, the windows displaying the sun rising out in the east and the girls beginning to wake up.

Maybe she should have told them that she had no one to go to and not a whole lot of money. They could help her. Perhaps I should tell them...

Cleverly's mind went back and forth as she pondered that thought. Until her ego got the best of her. Why does it always do that?

"Who am I kidding? I could never tell them," she whispered to herself. She would be too embarassed and too ashamed. They would wonder why she had kept it from them all these years.

Cleverly stood up out of bed and turned to the mirror. She saw the same girl as always. Only this time, the girl looked much more sad and confused. Why did she always do that? She knew what she would see in the mirror and looking into it only made her feel worse about herself. In the back of her mind Cleverly had always hoped to see someone else. A smiling, beautiful girl who had no worries and welcomed the future like an old friend. Someday that girl would come along, but not today. And to Cleverly, that day seemed far, far away. Farther than she would have liked.

"Cleverly! Oh, I'm going to miss you!" yelped Athalie jumping up on Cleverly to give her a hug--pulling her out of her thoughts. Cleverly hadn't notice all the girls wake up.

"Can you believe it? Seven years... all done," sighed Vivian folding her pajamas into her trunk.

Once everyone was dressed, they went down to breakfast together. Students were already saying a few goodbyes even with the long train ride to come.

"Hey Clev," Breccan said sliding in next to her along with his other dormitory mates. They had all gone through these seven years together, for the most part. Cleverly was a little surprised about the nickname but as soon as the thought formed in her mind she set it aside.

Cleverly smiled slightly, her head resting on her fist. "Hey Brec," she responded.

"Would you like to come to the owlery with me after breakfast quick?" That was a rather odd thing to ask, Cleverly thought. She was confused and her face showed it. "My owl is out there-- I need to grab him before we leave."

"Oh-- yeah, um, sure. I'll go with you," she answered. It still seemed odd for him to ask her. What did he want to talk to her about? Cleverly had a small idea..but that could never be true! Perhaps... No, no. He has had seven years to talk to me... he probably would just like to say a goodbye in private. Breccan had been a very good friend to Cleverly so it seemed only right to have a proper goodbye.

Once they finished breakfast (Cleverly having hardly ate anything) Breccan and Cleverly walked outside to the owlery. The cool morning breeze felt good and there was dew on the grass.

"It has gone by so fast," Breccan said. He was wearing jeans, a nice shirt that fit him well and a jacket.

"Too fast," Cleverly said.

Breccan chucked, "Yeah. So, the reason I asked you out here with me was so that I could talk to you in private... obviously-- I mean... ahem," he cleared his throat. Was he nervous? His hands were in his pockets, balled into fists. "I just wanted to say that you've been a really great friend and person to talk to and... I'm going to really miss you." Now he turned and looked at Cleverly. She looked back.

"I--I'm going to miss you too Breccan." Her face flushed and she looked away.

"And I was hoping we could write-- you know since we won't be seeing a lot of each other anymore." He removed his hands from his jacket pocket.

"Yeah, that'd be great," she said.

"I'll need your address of course."

Uh, oh. As of right now, Cleverly didn't have an address. She wasn't for sure where she would live.

"Or... you could give me yours and I'll write you first," she suggested quickly.

"Okay," he agreed. They had reached the owlery now. It was empty and quiet except for the soft cooing of owls and the occasional flap of wings. Breccan turned to her. He usually wasn't like this. He seemed nervous but Breccan was never nervous. Cleverly's heart sped up and she sucked in a breath.

"And, I've been wanting to tell you that.." he trailed off. He rocked back and forth on his heels looking down at his shoes. Cleverly looked up at him. He was tall. It made Cleverly feel small. Her heart was beating faster than ever. She worried he could hear it. "I have always liked you, but...it wasn't until recently that I discovered just how much." Oh boy. "The thought of not seeing you again actually started becoming real and now it's here and I can't imagine not seeing you anymore..." He was stuggling to find the right words.

Cleverly nodded like she understood but she wasn't positive she did. She wasn't used to this kind of thing. Boys usually weren't interested in her. She didn't know how to react to this kind of conversation. She really liked Breccan, and she couldn't deny she had thought about being with him--but she wasn't compatible with anyone, especially with someone as great as him. Besides--they had just graduated Hogwarts! They were about to go their own seperate ways! What am I supposed to say? Which part of me do I listen to?

"I know I'm making no sense but just know this, I fancy you, quite a lot actually, and I don't want to just forget about each other once we leave." He reached out and gently tucked two strands of hair behind her ear, but he kept his hand on her cheek. They were very close to each other now. Cleverly had a strange feeling inside her as she looked up at Breccan. Her heart fluttered.

"I think I feel the same way," she whispered the weaker part getting the best of her. Cleverly didn't know what this was supposed to feel like. She had never really felt something like this and she didn't want to ruin it, but at the same time she knew she shouldn't be doing this, encouraging him.

Breccan smiled. They stood there looking at each other for a few moments, Breccan's hand still on her cheek. Then he slowly leaned down and pressed his lips softly against hers. So many thoughts and feelings flowed through Cleverly. Different thoughts, some were hopeful some...not.

After a few moments, Breccan stepped back. It was a simple and sweet kiss. Cleverly almost didn't want him to stop. He smiled again and Cleverly smiled too. He leaned down one last time and planted a small kiss on her lips.

As they walked back to the castle hand in hand, Cleverly's thoughts, as they usually do, took over her mind.

This wasn't a good idea. They were leaving Hogwarts. Breccan would eventually find out about her. He wouldn't want to be with a girl like Cleverly. A girl who had a terrible past, an unpromising future, no money, and a girl who had been lying to him for seven years. He deserved someone much better.

What did this even mean for them both? Cleverly didn't know what this made them.

This is a really bad time. How could he do this to me?! What am I supposed to do?

Cleverly had no idea what she was going to do. This was just another emotion to add on her list and Cleverly was filling up. Soon she would be full. She wasn't sure how much more she could take of all this. 

As Cleverly's thoughts filled her mind, worrying her even more, she walked along next to Breccan with a straight face.

Inside she was dying.

A/N: Hello fabulous readers, HuffleLoonyPuff here. This chapter was a bit...different. It took a completely different turn than from what I was planning on writing. I can't imagine how Cleverly is feeling, I don't know what I would do if it were me! Either way, I hope you all enjoyed it!

Leave comments and votes and stay tuned for the next chapter!