Little Bird [Kaisoo]

"Home Sweet Home"

I truly despise the phrase “Home Sweet Home” It’s a misconception for the ones who don’t have nice, sweet, loving homes like myself, that they are supposed to be filled with cookies and love. It’s pretty fucking twisted to come up with something like that in my personal opinion. I enter the hate filled structure to find my father slamming my mother to the ground with one quick motion.

            “What the fuck did I tell you about having my dinner ready when I got home, huh?”

            My mother’s pleads for mercy are muffled with gasps of air; I didn’t even flinch when his fist made a connection to her jaw. I throw my bag to the side and make my way over to my bloody mother and drunken father.

            “Dad, stop.” I yell, seizing the blows my mother was taking. He turns, meeting my eyes and the familiar rush of fear pulsed through my vision.

            He sends me flying backwards, cheek stinging, bruise forming, hope and pride sucked away.

            I land on my back, against the kitchen wall, the sounds of my mother’s face being stripped away by a fiery fist drenched with sweat and power. I want to get up and pry his filthy body away from her, but the devils have decided my fate. Lie in silence, in fear, play dead. Be dead.  

            “When I get back bitch my dinner better be made…right” his footsteps make the ground tremble, the sound of a door slamming and my mother crawls towards me.

            “Jongin? Baby?”

            She looks battered, broken, and my heart breaks.

            “Mom, I’m fine. Are you okay?” I reach for her cheek and she flinches when my fingertips touch the tender surface, tears escape her.

            “Yeah, I’ll be okay. Go to your room, okay? Don’t come out for nothing. Here’s some food, go.” She looks me dead in the eyes and hands me some rice cake. I take it and don’t say anything else.

            In my room, my fists are balled up, and I’m fighting the urge to punch the wall again. My knuckles bleed with the blows they took for my anger. My phone buzzes as I stretch out on my not-so-comfortable bed.

            Hey Jongin! It’s from Kyungsoo I forgot that I had sent him a message earlier when I had gotten on the bus.

            Yeah?

What a stupid thing to reply, stupid, stupid, stupid.  

What’s up?

Nothing really…hey I have to go, mom is calling me. My mind is swirling, tears sting my eyes.

Oh, okay. I’ll talk to you later then?

Yeah!  He will hate me forever.

Okay, bye Jongin~

Bye Kyungsoo.

My nostrils flare, why the fuck am I so fucking stupid?

Flashbacks of people at school shoving me into lockers, the guys taking my day clothes and leaving me naked afterschool, the girls sticking their used gum in my hair, the words, the voices, the mouths they bubble out of. I imagine green slime dripping from their lips as they babble, kick, scream.

Angel boy…save me. My eyes flutter shut presenting previews of the possible next chapters of my fucked up life. Kyungsoo smiles, his heart shaped lips, his scent…him. His laughter echoes the dark corners of my mind, setting up torches so I can see my way out of the hell. I’ve never had feelings like this before for someone else, let alone a male. My eyes open, wide, staring at the cracks in the ceiling. My anger subsides with the string of thoughts that are labeled: Kyungsoo. I roll over onto my side and take a piece of the rice cake my mother gave me and I pull out my phone and text him back.

Hey, tomorrow after school. Do you want to get some coffee?

It feels like forever, even though a full minute has passed.

Yeah! Sounds like fun

Within moments my heart soars and my chest gets the same feeling it did earlier, my eyes close, a smile rips away the cobwebs on my face, and for the first time in a long time, I feel something other than hate.