Happily Unhappy: Season 3

Season 3, Episode 15: Losing My Religion

Troyan holds his breath through the parking lot of Broadview High, worming his way between cars and other students. The whole vibe of the school feels off already as he opens the double doors to head inside. The usual morning chatter is quiet, people are softly shutting their locker doors in fear that the loudness could set someone off to believing another gun was brought in, and a large chunk of students didn't even show up today.
Troyan isn't going to downplay someone else's trauma but he was literally shot during the shooting and he still showed up today, didn't he? As far as he knows, the other trauma club members are planning to do the same, too.
Trauma club. Troyan shudders at the thought of going to that today. He might have come to school today but that doesn't mean he's in the mindset to return to that room where everything got out of hand. He and Riley both lied on that floor, bleeding out and Troyan is the one that came out alive. That doesn't change the fact he is still insanely scarred by it.
Troyan finds Aisha shutting her locker door in the senior square, her eyes lighting up when she sees him. "Hey, you."
"Hey," he says back, struggling with his backpack, his arm still in the damn sling. "Weird being back here, huh?"
"I am doing my best," Aisha admits. "But, I'd be lying if I said that I'm not on the verge of a mental breakdown."
"You and me both."
"I don't know if I can walk upstairs or not," Aisha admits quietly. "Or go into the library--"
"Or the trauma room," Troyan adds.
Aisha gently touches his arm. "Troyan, you didn't have to come today. Mr. Keller even sent out the email to everyone's guardians saying he doesn't blame anyone for needing more time." She gently pokes his chest. "Especially you."
"But if I miss out on school, I'm going to have to play catch-up," Troyan declares as they cross the senior square for his locker. "And we both know that I'm not very good at that."
"I can get your homework for you," she offers. "I don't mind."
Troyan considers it. He could sit at home and wait until things calm down before coming back but then that defeats his whole recovery journey. He needs to be here, a part of everything. This is his last semester of high school. He doesn't want to fall behind so late in the school year.
Troyan shakes his head, opening his locker door. "No, I'm fine."

The trauma club room seems different now that Lynn is back inside of it. Even though it's all arranged the same: the scattered desks and chairs, the no bullying signs on the walls, the floor to ceiling cabinets in the back. It all looks exactly the same. Yet, Lynn can't stop looking at the linoleum floor where Riley died. She wonders if his ghost is going to haunt this room for eternity. Generations to come will be told the story about Riley Jensen, the narrative being twisted depending on who's telling it. He will be a legendary maniac whose ghost will remain stuck in the walls of this building. Lynn is already feeling cold.
"Okay, looks like we all showed up today." Ms. Torres gets class stared, scanning the room to find Troyan missing. "Well, most of us, anyway."
"He tried coming," Aisha tells her. "But um, he's having a little bit of a hard time."
"Which is completely understandable," Ms. Torres responds, fiddling with her watch around her wrist. "I know we usually will come back from winter break and have an assignment but I am struggling to come up with one."
The room falls silent, the only sound being the hands of the ticking clock above the white board behind Ms. Torres.
"We don't even have to do an assignment," Ms. Torres goes on when no one speaks a word. "It's completely up to you guys. If anyone wants to talk about what happened or about Honor and Mateo, we can do that. Or, if you all would rather just... sit in silence, we can do that, too."
"It just doesn't feel right." Celine is the first to speak, looking at the empty chairs. "Honor not being here isn't right. Mateo not being here is even worse."
"I just keep thinking about Riley," Octavia says next, her eyes on the floor where Riley was shot. "Is it too much to ask for trauma club to held in another room?"
Before Ms. Torres can answer, River interjects. "I think we should continue being in here. Riley took enough away. We aren't going to let him kick us out of our own room."
"It'll get easier, Octavia," Ms. Torres promises. "The more we bring into this room, the more the negativity that was done here during that day will be executed."
"Fine, I'll bring my sage in tomorrow," Octavia promises.
Lynn raises her hand. "I think I have something we can do."
Ms. Torres gestures for her to go on. "The floor is yours, Lynn."
Lynn stands up from her chair and looks at the other members. "I think we should do a candlelight vigil for Honor."
Josie blinks. "So, like, lighting a bunch of candles in hopes she wakes up?"
"That's called witchcraft," Ophelia mumbles.
"It's what is done during difficult times like this," Lynn proceeds. "We light a candle in her honor."
"They only do that when people are dead," Harrison shoots at her in a rude tone from the back of the classroom. "And in case you forgot, she's still alive."
Lynn squints. "Of course I didn't forget. I've been visiting her every day since the shooting. Where have you been?"
"Every time I show up, your ass is planted in the chair next to her." Harrison yawns. "Surprised they haven't given you your own bed yet."
"Anyway," Lynn says firmly before looking back at the others. "We light a candle and we say a prayer in hopes she gets better. We can gather a lot of other students in the school and hold an event."
"We're not doing that," Harrison intercepts again. "I'm sorry, but praying to a God that isn't even there isn't going to wake her up."
"You don't know that."
"I know that Honor is the one hurting the most out of all of this," Harrison claims. "And I know that other people want to light candles and pray just to make themselves feel better. You weren't the one shot. She was. How about we try making her feel better and not feel like we're doing some nice charity work by standing around with a bunch of people who don't even know her lighting candles?"
"You are being incredibly disrespectful," Lynn tells him. "You're supposed to be her boyfriend, remember? You're supposed to be sad."
"I am sad." Harrison clenches his jaw. "But I'm not delusional enough to think that praying is going to bring her back."
"Looks like you're the one who forgot that she isn't dead," Lynn challenges.
Harrison's face falls. "You know what I meant."
The bell rings.