Utopian Dystopia

Introduction

Three years. Three years without my older brother, three years with these memories. These painful, painful memories.

Sometimes I just sit and wonder. I wonder about hills and when they will come back. Sunshine has returned. So has rain. But not the hills. I wonder if Jonas is still out there and if he has found Elsewhere.

It was the year I was supposed to get my bike, I was becoming a Nine. I remember being shaken awake by my frazzled mother. 'What a silly word, frazzled. Three years ago it wouldn't be allowed.' She was rushed to get to the assembly. We got ready and she strapped me up to her bike. Father could not find his so he just walked figuring Jonas had used it.

Four hours later, I was now a Nine, the news arrived. Jonas had escaped. At first I was sad. Unlike the others around me, I felt fine. Everyone was in a panic and I just felt fine. Mother looked around for Father with worry in her eyes and his just had a somber feel to them.

A couple days later, the memories began to come. They were like small waves of pain that came each day. My friend, Taylor, would tell me about the pain of a broken leg and I would describe sunburn. But nothing was actual pain compared to what was soon to come.

Lose, hunger, death, war. All of them came, one by one and some could not bear the pain. Many applied for Release. Fiona, Ethan, Liza, even Emily. I was going to but Fiona begged me not to. Ironic since she did apply for it but I obeyed nonetheless.

We've learned to deal with such pain and grieve by now. It doesn't mean that I can sleep peacefully. I'm about to turn twelve now. Or in the old language, I'd become a Twelve soon. Tomorrow to be exact.

We kept the tradition of the assignments. We are just allowed to change it now if we would like. The customs have changed but they were not lost. For example, you are now allowed to find your own spouse and children.

So tomorrow I shall receive my assignment and I can hardly contain myself. I hope to get nurturer. You see, the act of release has been demolished now. One year ago today.

While Jonas is missed and some grieve over the pain of an individual they do not know, it gives us wisdom and courage for anything that is to come. So yes, I miss my former 'brother' and yes I grieve over many painful memories. But that's what makes a strong community. So tomorrow when I head into adulthood, I'll have the strength to carry on.