The Clapper

"clap on, clap off" the advertisement roared, it's the "The Clapper" ad. It has constantly piqued my interest because I've always wanted to have clap activated furnishings in my house. If you haven't seen the advert, it's an adaptor where you plug in your furnishings, to allow said furnishings to be clap activated. Another nice thing about it, is that they have a "safe" feature, which activates the furnishings plugged to it by just hearing a sound. This "safe" feature would be extremely beneficial for me as I live alone in a rural area, and the nearest house to mine is almost a mile away, if anything was to happen, I'd be in a pickle.

This house is my brother's, but he said he did not want to live in a rural area tending the animals and things like that, so he gave it away to us (his siblings) but no one wanted it, so I took it. I've always wanted to get away from the city life and try something new.

As this is my house now, I'm planning to make one difference here; I am going to add The Clapper. It has been my dream and now it's here. There's not much to change in the house though, it's designed like a 1950's suburban house, which is in itself odd, because this is a rural area, the houses here look like Courage the Dog's house except for the one I'm living in. The main door is connected to the living room by a small hallway, this hallway also has a shoe closet. Once you enter the house and go through the hallway and turn left, you'd find the living room, but the hallway continues. At the end of the hallway is the bathroom and beside the bathroom is the only room in the house. The living room is large and is connected to the kitchen, the only thing separating the two rooms is this unusually large countertop. The only way you could get to the kitchen from the living room is by going through this unusually narrow path. I am content with the current status of the house, but I will be adding The Clapper here though, the house needs it, I need it, I crave for it.

Of course, I bought five Clappers. There are barely any furnishings here in the house, so I don't need that much.

I have this genius idea; I'm gonna put one clapper near the main door, put it on "safe" mode and plug in a blender. Everyone who are not supposed to be here are going to get surprised big time that they'll probably just leave.

For weeks, nothing's happening, but the utility of The Clapper is immense, I can turn off lamps and TVs without moving away from the comfort of my own chair.

It's been weeks since I integrated the Clapper into my house, I feel confident and assured that the house will be able to repel any type of intruders into this house. I spend most of my time vegetating in my room, watching the TV with the lights turned on and this night is no different. While I was engrossed on this TV show I'm watching, I hear the blender start and the clattering of sounds. I am confident that I have repelled the intruder, I waited 2 minutes before I turned off the blender, just in case of something.

This guy didn't leave the house, he or she is still here, they probably hid in the living room or something. They turned off the light in my room, as if I wouldn't notice, also, if they're trying to emanate the scary serial killer movie feel, they're not doing it right, they didn't even cut off the power supply or break vases or anything like that. This guy just turned off the light in my room and waited for me to come back. Little did he or she know, I have the power of Clapper on my side. I clap and boom the light is on. Surveying the room without going in, I notice the walk-in closet in my room is slightly open. This intruder or serial killer is the most incompetent one I have encountered or heard of. Why did he/she wait for me to come into my room? They probably could have taken me by surprise when I was heading back to my room, I would've died of a heart attack if he/she took me by surprise, but I guess thanks for giving me a chance to live. I don't understand. At this time all of the lights in the house are turned off except for the one in my room.

I pretend I didn't notice the door, I said out loud "I need to piss" and then turned on the bathroom light and closed the door. Of course, it was all a misdirection I was actually going to go to the kitchen to call the police, because I live kind of far from the main city. The police are going to take 10-15 minutes before they get here. So I only have to stall for 15 minutes at most.

I don't know what type of weapon they have so I can't really act carelessly. If they have a knife, machete, bat or anything like that, I'll just have to outrun them, but if they have a gun or something I'd be dead. Speaking of weapons, I once watched this thriller movie, where the guy had a crossbow for some reason, and because he had to reload the bow every single time he shot it, he missed so many opportunities to do what he wanted to do, but that's a random tangent, like a fun fact thing. Going back to the event at hand, I just have to hide in the dark for 15 minutes. I don't know where he/she is, but they don't know where I am either. 

Because I had not heard anything for 3 minutes now, I'm assuming he/she is in front of the bathroom door, I cannot say for sure though. Now I'm panicking, because this time I actually need to piss this time. I can't head outside, because the main door is extremely visible if you're standing in front of the bathroom door (even if the lights are turned off), if he has a gun I'm dead. I can't piss on the ground, because it'll make a sound. I need to use my BIG brain to out maneuver this fool. Any movement I'd do would make a sound, this house is extremely creaky, I have to be extremely careful. 

I clap to turn on the living room lights to startle him/her, now they know I'm not inside the washroom. My attempt didn't work, this guy just claps back to turn it off again. I clap to open it again, and he/she claps back again. I figured that they may be just doing that to pinpoint where exactly I am, so after the third clap I stopped.

Another 5 minutes has passed, this person claps again, I guess to assert their dominance, I don't know though, but I noticed that the sound is louder, which means he/she is closer, or that they just clapped louder for mind games. I don't know what they're doing or what to do. I'm not about to open the cabinets to get a knife, that's gonna make a lot of noise, I need to be discrete. Now that the living room lights are turned on, he/she is at a bigger advantage because they're standing and I'm at the corner of that large countertop, also they have a weapon, I would assume.

They walked around the living room, I caught a glimpse of this mystery person and based on their structure it is a 'he', wearing a hoodie, and what is he holding? This guy is carrying a bazooka? Of all the weapons, that's what he's gonna bring? He's gonna bomb the entire house if he's gonna kill me with that one, this guy is ready off himself as well.

How did he not break any furniture yet? Actually, how did he even fit in my closet with that in hand, it's like almost impossible, unless this guy is a genius mathematician and he is able to determine what angle he should carry the bazooka to fit in my closet. Where did he even get one?. I am confused. Why did he not shoot the bazooka earlier? If I was actually in the toilet, he could've just shot it. Maybe he knows that tricked him, but why wait 5 minutes?

Based on what I saw, the bazooka is not loaded, he's carrying the shell on the other hand, this guy is hella fit, he could probably knock me out if he hits me with the shell, I have to stay away. Another 2 minutes have passed. I have to wait for another 5 minutes before help arrives.

I can hear his footsteps coming towards the kitchen, my heart pounding, the wooden floor of the living room shakes with each footstep that he takes, based on this, this man is a big man. This bazooka man though, is very slow, I could probably outrun him before he loads in the shell into the bazooka. I could probably make a run for it if he comes too close.

I waited until he's on the narrow passage between the living room and the kitchen. Once that time arrived I vaulted over the long countertop and headed myself towards the main door. I clapped once more so I can see the face of this peculiar man. There was nothing to see there, only the blazing cold eyes that he bears, Those eyes sent shivers down my spine and it caused me to run faster, I'm not gonna look back, I'm just going to run straight to the door. He clapped back to turn off the lights, what a nerd, thankfully I know the house like the palm of my hands, so heading for the door isn't a big problem, even in the dark. In the distance I can hear the sirens, I'm relieved, but I am still inside the house, if I can get out and escape, all I need is to wait for the police.

As I expected this bazooka man is extremely cumbersome with all the arsenal he's bringing, I already got out of the house and he's still inside. Relief came over me, but the police are still not here, and he can come out at any moment and destroy me with his bazooka. As I'm running towards safety (away from the house) I hear an explosion. Dust rushes away from the house.

Bazooka man, just bazooka himself, he also destroyed the living room, kitchen part of the house. I don't know why he didn't chase after me, he could've just aimed it at me. Maybe he wants to die with someone. Questions rushed my mind after he blasted himself, but ultimately, relief is what I'm feeling at the moment.

I'm probably just gonna move back to the city.