Night Time Thoughts

Night Time Thoughts #5 (Im having a breakdown)

The title is not a joke, I'm typing this with shaky hands and tears running down my face. Writing is the only way that I can get out my feelings at this point. This segment of this series will be a bit more serious and controversial than others. If you can't listen to other people's opinions without getting mad or judging them, I suggest you leave now. Also, the song in the banner is one I've been listening to on repeat for four days now. Now, I'm wiping a few of my tears away, and let's get started.

1. I am getting bullied for not posting the hashtag black lives matter on an encouraging post (This was a post simply telling people to have a good day, I have since deleted it due to hate comments).I am getting attacked for saying that God has a plan for the world. I am getting attacked for saying that Jesus loves everyone. I am getting attacked for supporting the families of law enforcement. I am getting attacked for reposting something happy and encouraging  instead of a riot video. I am getting attacked for saying to treat others how you want to be treated. What do I mean by attacked? I've had to take a break from all social media platforms because people would harass me and say that by not posting a hashtag I was being a racist. If I didn't put a hashtag in my description, they said I must not be supportive. People have essentially disowned me and blocked me because they disagree with my opinions, even the ones that I never shared (they just assumed based on my "actions"). I lost a best friend over me not putting a hashtag on my story. Who knew that me living my normal life would become such a concern to so many people because of the lack of a hashtag on a post that was not relevant to that hashtag.

2. Just a reminder to everyone, just as you have the freedom to speak, they also have the freedom to speak. Freedom is a two way street. That annoying neighbor has the same freedom you have. If you get to say what you want, they get to say what they want. Freedom is a two way street. I refuse to live in an echo chamber where my own opinion is the only one present, but I also refuse to let other people control what I think because they think I should be a certain way. Fighting for freedom includes fighting for freedom for the people who you may think don't deserve it. Telling people to speak up includes listening to the people who speak up and say something different than you wanted them to. Telling people to act includes the actions of people that are doing good but maybe aren't supporting your cause specifically or aren't posting about their good deeds. Just as you ignore those that annoy you, you can also be ignored. Treat others how you want to be treated. If you would want someone to give you a hug after a breakup, give someone a hug after their breakup. If you want someone to listen to you, listen to others. If you want people to be nice to you, be nice to them. If you want people to support you, you support them. If you want someone to yell in your face, yell in their face. If you want someone to respect you, respect them. If you wouldn't want someone to do it to you, don't do it to someone else.

3. I've been crying my eyes out partly because I've realized that people are more focused on what other people are doing (or not doing) on social media instead of what people are doing in real life (meaning not online).

4. One of the Ten Commandments is thou shall not murder. You would think that this would be clear, but we live in a fallen world.

5. On another note, the song in that I have linked through a YouTube link is really good and it's helping me not feel as though I'm on an island full of fiery rocks that's ready to burn and stab me.

6. Just want to make it clear, I am not trying to make people feel bad for me in any way. These are my true, real, raw, unfiltered thoughts of my post midnight brain. It's actual a little past 3am when I'm typing this sentence. And if you got mad and have read this far, I warned you in the beginning that if you get mad about others opinions not to read this. I don't expect anyone to read this really, I just needed so badly to release my feelings and express what has been happening to me.

I don't care if you like this or not, I wrote this for me. Purely for me. Not to influence you, not to tell you what's right or wrong, but purely for me. I don't care if anyone reads this, I once agin, wrote this for myself.

All opinions are my own.