I'am Addicted To You

Funeral

Life is not worth it, Life is not important, life is not good enough, I'm not good enough. Why did god do this to me??? Did I do something, I don't deserve this, no one does. My father didn't deserve this. Now he paid the price, and we are following out the punishment.

I'm wearing a black dress, with a thick greyish belt. My mom twirls my hair a pins it up, trying to hold each fly away and strand of hair. She puts her head against my shoulder, apologizing, but for some reason, I understand.

I feel like this world was just meant to destroy me, as I watched my father, slowly get dropped to the bottom of a hole in the ground, and rot till there is just pieces of bones, and clothing along the bottom of the coffin.

My mom was trying to comfort me.

" Mom let go of me, please."

"Summer don't do this please, I'm trying to comfort you, just let me."

I started balling my eyes out, a life without a parent is like the whole world around that person is destroying piece by piece. It's like not having anyone love you, care about you. Not having someone to need or want you.

I don't know what I will do. My mom will probably become depressed, my friends will continue just talking about themselves, I won't have anyone to talk to, just a stupid guidance consular, no one else. She will ask questions like, how does this affect you??? How will you try and make yourself feel better??? How's your family doing??? I just can't take that.

"Mom just leave me alone!"

"Okay Summer, if that's what you want." She walks out slowly, putting her head in her hands, as her tears drip down her face. Drop by drop the tears hit the floor, then in a sudden second, the door closed shut, leaving me in regret and despair.