Thorn halt from patting the soil, he turns to the boy in blue, sitting on the ground beside him.
"Why do we helplessly struggling to live, when in the end we all die eventually?"
Taufan's voice were soft, his eyes casted upon the soil where he had bury the seeds from earlier. The thought has crossed his mind for a while, and he found himself asking for an answer.
For a reason to stay.
"A-ah, sorry for rambling! Let's continue where we left-"
"Why do you live Taufan?"
He was taken aback by Thorn's question. Why does he live for? Ironically, he isn't sure himself. His eyes settled back down on the soil, his hair moving along with the rhythm of his head, shaking left and right.
"Thorn, can you promise me not to tell anybody?" Taufan asked his little brother, carefully not to sound so suspicious. Despite being the most innocent of the bunch, he knows what coming up next from Taufan isn't something he was hoping to listen. He nods, bringing his legs up amd close to his chest.
"I..." Taufan hesitated,squeezing his eyes shut. "...want to die."
There was the silence of the rustling leaf as breeze past them. He can hear his heart beating so loud in him, his chest tightened. Is this, okay to tell? What's Thorn thinking about him? Will he be mad?
The silence killing him and quickly he laugh it off, backing up the mess he did while turning to look at Thorn and told him that he was joking. His laugh faltered upon the nature elemental. Tears evident in his eyes.
"Taufan..." he sniffed, "...stop lying."
His heart sank. Its heavy. Everything feels so hard to him. His lips apart but not a word escaped out. Pathetic, isn't he?
He smiled, it just felt right to him. Even if its seems so wrong.
"You know, Thorn. I was wondering,"
"If we all have the chance for immortality, will all this madness never happened in the first place?" Cyclone muttered, his hands holding his knees tight.
Every day, is so mundane. Waking up, go to school, rushing for the top of the pyramid, pleasing others, get beaten for the sake of it, not eating properly, get home late, study until ungodly hours and sleep.
and sometimes he cried too, if he had the time.
It just felt so numb now, leaving in a life like this. Yet, even so he knew out there, there are people living in much more sufferable life than him. He can't help himself but to pity.
And he hate that part of him too.
"Living an immortal life. Will it worth it? No poors have to live in vain for not eating, no need to worry of getting bummed out for staying up late, no point of fighting because one would not get harmed in the end."
"People living their life without worrying. Isn't that sound great?" he sighed, gazing up to the glaringly blue sky. "But still, in reality we are all gonna die anyway. What's the point of living then?"
Weak, selfish, corrupting.
What's there left in a world full of nightmares?
"Dying...maybe end your suffering Taufan." Thorn spoke after so long, wiping his dried tears at the end of his sleeve. "But along with them, death will steal our chances... Chances of enjoying those little things."
Taufan turned to look at him as he took hold of his wrist, pulling him to stand up. Bewildered, he follow the young's gaze to where he looks up to. Cherry blossoms swayed in the touch of the zephyr.
"Do you know what the Sakura reminds me of?” Taufan glance back at him as his gaze never turned.
“Life.”
“The fragility and the beauty of life. It’s a reminder that life is almost overwhelmingly beautiful but that it is also tragically short.” he smiled, his eyes turn to look at him with a warm smile.
"Dying is inevitable so is living. Eitherway, both held a great meaning." A warm smile casted upon him, Thorn's hands cupping his cheeks, wiping the tears off his thumbs.
"Neither is an option. Keep living, Taufan."
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"Whenever someone cries because they're not happy, I'm sure it's because they really want to be." -i thought about dying because ;amazarashi
