Its Time

The Beginning

He smiled looked straight at me and smiled I looked across the room and smiled back I turned back to look again and he was engaged in what seemed like a very serious discussion, conversation of some sort. The girl across from him had long blonde hair it was curly not like it had been planned like her hair was pleated at night. She wore barley any make up, enough to notice her but not to pay to much attention. She sat there in her right hand a glass of gin. She was smiling like he had something that she was happy about and he finally smiled Back.

"hello earth to Sophie hello " I looked away and smiled. She whacked my hand. Jazzy that's who I was with she was this amazing crazy dressed girl and she wore these amazing outfits today she had a butterfly jumpsuit she wore. She had long brown hair it was very wavy. She leaned over and pitched me "ow what was that for " I looked at her annoyed and touched my elbow were she had pinched me. She smiled and sipped her drink "your starring soph its rude" I looked at her she smiled "you still in love with him " I looked at her and nearly chocked on my food didn't expect her to ask that. "in love " jazzy rolled her eyes at me " you've been in love with Johnny for as long as I can remember didn't you use to date, do you still love him " I looked at her and shook my head she looked so confused she put down her drink. I looked at her " I don't love him any more I'm not even sure that I ever did love him and what is with all the questions " I looked over at him sat there laughing with the girl opposite him. "what do you mean you were heads over heal for him you cried yourself to sleep because he stopped feeling the same way, he was everything to you, at least that's what I thought, what, what happened" she stumbled a little bit she was very confused. Yes of course I agree with everything that she was saying yes, I thought I deeply was in love with. You are probably wondering who he is who the guy across the room in the pub that I keep on starring at who is he. I sighed " Its time jazzy" she looked up confused "it's time I let him go" I sighed I looked over at him there again you would think I was in love with him the way I kept looking at him, but I didn't feel it any more. I don't know what I felt but it's not love I don't know what it is but I don't feel it anymore.

Chapter two Jackson

Jackson was this tall mix race guy he had dark hair and when he talked you just wanted to sit and listen he had that way of drawing people in to listen to him he had a very smooth way of talking to people. To me he had always been this amazing guy I remember when I first met him I was in aw of him everyone was they all had a crush on him I will admit I did to but I didn't want to act on it, or people to know jazzy used to tease me about it all the time cause apparently I used to stare at him and gaze when I thought he wasn't looking. Little did I know he noticed jazzy used to hit me on the shoulder and say "your doing it again " I would sigh "he's not looking he doesn't know " she would glance at me "its creepy Soph stop it " and then she would change the subject to shopping or guys or something while smiling she knew she always knew. I remember when I had my first kiss, she wasn't there or anything, but she knew she had this way of knowing things about me. It was the same for me but we both just kind of always got each other any way back to the story. Jackson and I came good friends so good friends at one point I nearly neglected jazzy she slapped me once told me to snap out of it and remind me who would be there when It falls apart. I would explain to her that we were just friends, but it was hard to reason with her once she thought and put her mind to what she believed and I would admit I really liked him. I never ever thought that he felt the same way.

we had been friends for over a year my crush had kind of died down I starred sometimes to but not as much as I used to and suddenly we were good friends really good friends and I liked it we were just good friends until suddenly he turned around to me one day when it was just the two of us we had gone for a walk. We used to like to take these walks together small walks he didn't like hiking like I did but he didn't mind walking around the river it was peaceful and short he said and he enjoyed my company he said one time we were doing one of our regular walks and he just stopped.

"what's wrong " I turned around and asked him "were nearly done" he looked at me and smiled "I have something to ask you" I took a sip out of my water and looked at him confused "you liked me when we first met right " I laughed "I still like you " he gave a small smile "I mean like as in more than a friend if you get me " I looked to the ground " I mean you knew, I mean I thought it wasn't that , well ... " I stumbled he interrupted me "Sophie what I'm trying to say is I like you too I have for a while but I wanted to get to know your first and can we please Sophie can we try this" I nodded he came over and linked his hand in mine. I smilled.

for a while it was good, we dated for a while it was good, we were very happy. Then something happened I'm not sure exactly what we just kept missing each other we got so busy with life and we forgot what matters. What mattered to us making time for each other we just stopped trying and every time either us rang each other one of us was busy we finally manged to get time with each other and we sat down and made a mutual decision that it wasn't working any more.

Then we drifted I still had this feeling in my stomach that I wanted to be with him I even made myself believe that I was madly in love with him. I still saw him around time weirdly more than when we were together. Then I stopped seeing him everywhere and then suddenly he became one of my flat mates and good friends ands like none of it ever happened but I still had this pit in my stomach when I saw him then he started seeing someone else but he still always made time to talk to me.

Jazz told me maybe one day, but deep down I think I knew it's not what I wanted he dated a lot of girls but nothing stuck till the blonde girl jessie for me nothing stuck I just wasn't into dating any more or maybe I didn't want to date anyone but Jackson. I didn't know what I was going to do. It was like I was infected by him or something like I just couldn't get him out of my mind and then it just suddenly stopped it's if I suddenly woke up and realized he wasn't ever going to love me and I realised it was never going to work again with us and I just stopped. I guess it was that night the night I saw him with jessie that it really hit me. It was well a truly over because nothing had ever stuck before. She started coming around she was first girl who had stayed and hung out with us and then come back again that Jackson had dated well I guess since me. I think it made me realize it was time to move on now. So I boxed and got rid of all the stuff of mine and Jacksons stuff as a couple.

She made him laugh and that made me happy it was the first girl that I had seem him love and have fun within a long time. Jazzy looked at me a lot when she first started coming over, I think she knew deep down to and wanted to make sure I was okay.

I looked up from my drink " I'm okay it's a good thing Jazzy I'm finally letting myself move on this is good " I had been alone for so long holding out hope I was interested to see what it will be like just living for me and not as if I'm living viscerally for someone else without them even knowing.