The Million Word Journey

97k: Music Tastes- Subtly

Cry Baby— The Neighbourhood

Here we are, almost at our first 100k. Whoopee! I said I'd write about music because hell yeah, I don't think I'd be able to write at all without it. 'No Supeheroes Allowed' is based off the Jukebox Musical, in which the creator uses pre-existing songs to tell a story. I'm not writing a musical, so it's not exactly the same, but I use the same concept: I write each chapter based upon a song, which (among it being amateurly written and, uh, possibly sucking) would make the book impossible to publish because I use lyrics to establish the mood and play into events happening within the story.

That being said, I've been using Spotify since 2016, and ever since 2018 I've been keeping monthly playlists. Which is great, because I decided to compare my May 2019 playlist to my May 2020 playlist, and uh. Here's a random sampling of songs from both playlists and see if you can spot the difference (other than the newest one being sorted alphabetically).

When I saw this, it kind of caught me off my guard. Most of my friends' music tastes sort of slide gradually into different directions over years, they don't snap like that. The girl who shares my Premium (shh), has pretty much the same tastes when she started using my account when I was 17. I kind of scratched my head, asked myself if I was okay. Is there a reason I don't seem to like lighter, more relaxed music? Am I as happy as I was in May of last year?

I mean, I guess even writing that question could make someone snort. I mean, it's 2020. Hell year. The world is disintergrating. 2019 was a pretty sucky year too, sure, but I can't imagine 2020 being anything but a bad omen for the coming decade, because every time you think shit can't get worse, America goes and trips on the stage curtain again, revealing the flesh-eating monsters gnawing on the bones of the innocent backstage. So hell yeah, you could say, of course all you want to do is hear 3TEETH scream about how all the slimy corporations are fucking each other.

But I'm doing okay. I think I hate the system more than I did last year, but I hated it then, too. I think it's a combination of factors, though, and who knows, a sad day may come when I abandon Nirvana, Iron Maiden, Bad Religion, and 3TEETH for the gentler music I used to listen to. That's why I don't, you know, bash the stuff I no longer listen to. I think The Neighbourhood is really good, Cry Baby is one of my all time favorites. Khalid and Frank Ocean make music that's easy to listen too but has a message. Pyramids is beautiful, and fuck, I didn't really get the tragedy of Super Rich Kids until I played it again recently and went 'wait, did he...die?' Despite having listened to that song more times than I can count, it only hit the way it was intended to now.

And c'mon, you gotta have a little fun. There's nothing wrong with a little 'Undress Rehearsal' or 'Lace and Leather.'

Still, it's hard to go back to that old playlist. Even though most of the music is sugary, I still find notes of sadness underneath. The yearning of Khalid's 'Paradise,' how I added 'Do it for Her' as a reminder to myself that going to bootcamp was something I wasn't just doing for myself, but so I could have a life with my at-the-time girlfriend.

The song that's always made me think of her, as long as we'd been dating, is Cry Baby. It both fit when we were dating, and through the break up itself. The sweetness and the sadness.

So that's my theory.

May 2019: The Neighborhood, Khalid, The Cab— Bouncy tunes that hide notes of sadness underneath.

It kind of shook me, listening to this playlist over again. Because in my recovery time at home after bootcamp fell through for me, I thought of May is this happy, perfect time. Listening to this playlist reminded me that, no, it never fully was. There was sadness, just underneath. And when I listened to it, I closed my eyes and relived the feeling of it all.

But but but

Iron Maiden, Reignwolf, 3Teeth, Metallica; these bands can sound angry and loud at first glance, and don't get me wrong, they are. But every time I listen to 3Teeth scream about corporations spewing slime and Bad Religion mock our shit political system, I smile. Every time Iron Maiden opens their songs with an affected ancient Egyptian accent or Metallica repeats "Don't Tread on Me" over and over and barks, I get this big, stupid smile on my face. So.

May 2020: Angry and edgy songs that hide happy and ultimately fun energy underneath.

I'm going to do what all writers do and pretend this somewhat random observation I had is meaningful somehow. But uh, I think this is a show of subtly that even I missed. When I was first aware of the change, I took a pretty shallow view of my own music tastes. Pop and ChillFi = Happy; Punk and Metal = Angry and Stressed. But everything is layered, and very few things are the way they seem. Subtly and nuance are what makes shit impactful and realistic, it's always there in big things like political opinions, but it also appears in smaller things, like your tastes in music and stuff. This observation reminded me to check my "subtly" gauge in my stories. As a rule of thumb, nuance and subtly adds depth, and if you can, load that mother with it.

Tl;dr: I'm happier, add subtly to your writing.

ALSO: 3TEETH is really good, guys. Granted, it's probably only "good" if you like edgy and very noisy/crude industrial metal about corporations being evil, but holy shit I'm in love, though I guess I should warn that it could be distasteful, I mean the stuff about corporations fucking each other wasn't just stuff I made up. That's from my favorite 3TEETH song, Affluenza.

Also, the link to their merch store on their website just says 'Consume.' Which is kind of cheesy and I love it. 

(I told you Paradox would be sporting. He's having a grand old time, and honestly, he might keep this look for a while. Very trans, very edgy, I do stan)