𝓜𝔂 𝓛𝓲𝓯𝓮

06/05/20

So I went to the bathroom in my hotel room and tied my dress up.

I sucked my stomach in and looked and the turned to look at my side profile. I wanna look at what I saw.

Sucking in side and front profile
>

But when I stopped sucking in I realized that I look pregnant.

Not sucking in side and front profile
>

I hate the way I look. And with my body type I cant really wear sizes that teens wear. For fucks sake I wear plus size clothes. I hate it. I wish I could I wear a bikini and feel good.

BUT I CAN'T. I just wanna look like my friends that are skinny. I know I should love myself but I CAN'T AND NEVER WILL.

And the thing is, is that I only wear bikini tops near older women that I usually go to the pool with.

(Mind you those women are in their 40's to 50's.)

I'm 14 and hate myself. I don't even like my face. I hate the way I look when I smile. And I'm going into high school so boys want girls to look like Charli Damilio, Addison Rae, and Maddison Beer. But I won't EVER LOOK LIKE THEM EVER.

Ever since I was in 5th grade I've struggled with body weight. And because of that I never feel like a boy will like me or let alone a girl. It's been three years since I've started struggling with it. Soon four.

And because of this body weight I have stretch marks. I have them on my thighs, boobs, legs, and down there (I hope you know what I mean by that.)

This world makes me feel horrible in every type of way. Especially with how parents not teaching their sons how to treat females.

I feel fat.

I feel fat.

I feel fat.

I feel fat.

I feel fat.

I feel ugly.

I feel ugly.

I feel ugly.

I feel ugly.

I feel ugly.

I feel ugly and fat.

I feel ugly and fat.

I feel ugly and fat.

I feel ugly and fat.

I feel ugly and fat.

I feel ugly and fat.

I feel ugly and fat.

I feel ugly and fat.

I feel ugly and fat.

I feel ugly and fat.

I feel like I will never be able to lose the weight I have. And I just want to love myself. BUT I CAN'T.

Now that I got that out of the way I wanna say that this world when it comes to the male species is so many things. Like open a damn door for a female. Sure men do that but like how often tho.

Thanks for reading this if actually did read this. But can someone please help me out with body empowerment and body positivity.

ALSO HERE'S A PICTURE OF MY NEW BIKINI TOP THAT I'LL ONLY WEAR AROUND THE WOMEN I WAS TALKING ABOUT EARLIER ON IN MY RANT

Do you guys like it? Cause I do. A lot.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME AND APPRECIATION FOR FOR TAKING TIME OUT OF YOUR OWN DAY OR NIGHT TO READ THIS.

HAVE A GOOD DAY OR NIGHT DEPENDING ON WHAT TIME YOU ARE READING THIS CHAPTER POST THINGY

OH AND YOUR NAMES ARE HUNNYBUN.

I L-O-V-E YOU ALL SO VERY FUCKING MUCH.

BYEEEEEEEEEEE BYEEEEEEEEEEE HUNNYBUNS

WORD COUNT: 581

Started writing: 3:20 am

Stopped writing: 4:05 am