Dear Joanna

Dear Joanna,

This is the hardest thing I've ever had to write. It is not because I have to swallow my pride and admit I am a fraud, but it is because I have to relieve my biggest regret in my life, betraying Joanna. I'm writing as an apology to her, that she may one day forgive me. In order for the world to understand why I have done this, I need to start from the beginning of it all.

I remember what started it all. I wanted to become something great and make a difference. When my father passed away in 1764, I could not live with myself. He passed away of a disease while I sat and did nothing. I kept thinking, maybe I could have done something. The Netherlands no longer felt like home to me, I could feel the gloom and darkness in the air and yet no one else seemed to notice. I left to go to Europe to escape it all and to prevent someone else from feeling this pain and grief that I had felt. I began in England, where I studied with a family friend, John Pringle. I worked hard trying to prove I was good enough. When I look back at it now, I see that determination in myself and cringe at what I have become. The hard work did pay off; however, when I became known as a master inoculator. I became well respected in my field and even stopped an entire outbreak in a village in Hertfordshire. Everything seemed to be looking up. I felt like I was exactly where I was meant to be. Then, a letter changed it all.

Maria Theresa of Austria sent a letter to John Pringle. She asked for someone to come and assist her with Smallpox in Austria. For some reason, he recommended me to go. I did not realize at the time, but this was the best and worst decision I would ever make.

I traveled to Austria to inoculate the royal family. When I had arrived in Vienna, I was struck with the beauty of the nation. This place had felt different and I never knew why. I remember when I met her. It was the most beautiful day I had ever seen. The leaves of the trees had started to fall on the ground and the beautiful color of the trees seemed to make the world seem brighter. I was dazed by the beauty of the day and had not been watching where I was going. It was not until I crashed into her that I even knew I was not paying attention.

"I'm am very, sorry miss, I should have been watching where I was going. It is just such a beautiful day I could not help but stare," I said to the woman that I had bumped into. She did not say anything at first until I saw her start to chuckle. Now the day might have been beautiful, but it was nothing compared to her smile.

"It is beautiful, isn't it?" she looked away from me and looked to the trees filled with the multicolored leaves. I was still captivated with this woman and could not even focus on the beautiful scenery anymore. Her golden brown hair, which perfectly accented her face, and her eyes that seemed full of life. She looked back at me curiously, and I could barely speak.

"It is nothing compared to you," I said this without thinking and she began to smile brighter.

The woman who I met that day changed the course of my life. I introduce to all that read this he true genius and inventor of photosynthesis, her name was Joanna. From this encounter bloomed a wonderful friendship. I learned slowly that she was not only beautiful, but also incredibly smart. She showed so much passion in everything she did. We began to talk more and more often. Everything you said made so much sense. Through the years I learned everything about her. She never ceased to amaze me. Life passed on and everything began to change. I became the physician for the Empress shortly after meeting her. Again, I became a well-respected man in society. Austria seemed to have become my new home. I felt the happiest I had ever been and I even married the love of my life. I had it all, but I made a mistake.

I told everyone I was inspired by another scientist, but it was actually Joanna. She loved plants and loved to study them. Her eyes lit up when she talked about plants. She devoted everything she had to find out how they worked. Joanna was not a scientist, but she desperately wanted to become one. She wanted to make a difference in the world.

She always said to me, "How can I sit here and do nothing while there is so much out there that has yet to be discovered."She was someone I respected so greatly, and yet, no one else did. No ever took anything Joanna said seriously. Those years I spent in Vienna, I learned so much from her and Maria. They were both the smartest people I have ever known. Some people judged me for hanging out with Joanna when I was so well respected, but I never cared about that. I knew that one day she would discover something amazing, and she did.

In 1778, she made a groundbreaking discovery. She immediately came running to tell me all about it. She came to me with her shaggy, unkempt brown hair, which made her look insane. I could hear the excitement in her voice as she spoke.

"I did it! I found out how plants function! It's because of light! Without it they cannot make carbon or oxygen and nothing can function. Plants are so much more complicated than anyone has ever thought!"

"What do you mean?" I said not comprehending what she was saying.

She stayed there explaining this process to me over and over again until I finally understood completely. She told me that, evidently, plants use this light and absorb it. Without light, they could not create carbon dioxide nor could they release oxygen. I knew I that I was not a part of history, but I had no idea how big a part people would think I played. She spent type and wrote a thoughtful document about her discovery and tried to get it out to the world. Unfortunately, she was continuously shut down. Months passed and everyone was still ignored. Even though she was frustrated, she refused to give up. I desperately wanted to do something to help her, and then an idea came to me. I could post her work and put my name on it! I thought she would be thankful for this act, but I was so incredibly wrong. It was the stupidest thing I ever did. So, I took Joanna's work without her consent and wrote my name like it was mine.

I still remember the day she came to me. It was almost twilight and the sunset had begun to show up on the tops of the trees. I sat on the grass near my house admiring the view. She came to me, with her eyes swollen and puffy. Her hair was sprawled in every which direction. The way that she looks at me still haunts me to this day. The expression on her face showed intense anger, and yet, her eyes showed so much pain and grief.

She looked at me and said, "I trusted you! How These words were filled with hurt and venom. I was confused as to what she meant at first and then I realized and spoke saying, "What are you talking about? I did this for you! Now your work is out there for everyone to see! Isn't that what you wanted?"

I was so blind I could not even see how far skewed my vision was.

"Not like this, Jan. Not like this," she said this with so much hurt in her voice. The anger was gone now and only replaced with sadness. Maybe, she wanted for me to say I did not do it. Maybe, she wanted me to say it was all some insane dream. All I saw in that moment was the tears pour as she walked away from me and out of my life forever. Even though I have not seen her in years, her painful expression will always remain engraved in my mind. I was the one she trusted the most, and I took everything from her.

Today, I lay here on the brink of death reliving my biggest regret over and over again. I want everyone to know the truth, but most importantly, I want Joanna to know the truth. I can only pray that she sees this. With my last breaths, I write this to her. I selfishly ask of her for something I cannot receive, her forgiveness. I hope that maybe one day, you can feel peace even with all I've done. Farewell, Joanna, you will forever be the most astounding person I have ever known

-     Jan Igenhousz

(All the events regarding Joanna are fabricated, however, all else is based on truth)