Home for Horny Monsters - Book 4

Shocking Developments

Mike stared at the piece of paper in front of him, then looked up. Jenny stood on the other side of the paper, holding a large pencil in both hands. She was tapping her foot impatiently.

He sighed. "How about W?"

Jenny drew the last leg on the hanging stick figure, then drew an X over each of his eyes. He heard a distant cackle come from all around the room, and she dropped her pencil.

He scrutinized the puzzle before him and then looked at her. Somehow, despite guessing all the vowels, the dashes on the paper were still largely empty.

"I'm starting to wonder if you actually know how to spell anything," he said.

The doll said nothing, but a book on a nearby shelf threw itself at him, and he dodged out of the way.

"Hey now, be nice." He picked up the book and set it on the table. "Okay, break time is over. I need to go through some more of these books. Here, I found this and thought you might want to play with it." He pulled a top out of his pocket and handed it over. Jenny took it from him and sat down on the edge of the desk and gave the top a spin.

Glad that the ghost seemed content for now, he dug into his books once more.

There was a puff of smoke, and Lily appeared in the seat across from him, her legs crossed and a sucker clutched seductively between her fingers.

"Hey there, Romeo." She gave the sucker a lick and then leaned forward. "Studying hard?" She was wearing a button-down blouse with dress pants, but her clothing fuzzed out and was replaced with a school girl's outfit. "Or studying while hard?"

"Trying to keep from getting fucked over by the faerie queen, actually. Where have you been?"

"Hunting, trying to twist the head off your shadow buddy, the usual." She leaned back and put her feet up on the desk, slightly spread apart so that Mike could see up her skirt. She was naked beneath it. "And you?"

He looked away from her crotch and into her eyes, suppressing the urge to shake his head. She really did enjoy toying with him, and he was determined not to give her the satisfaction of knowing that she still got to him, if only to aggravate her a little. "Getting ready to go into the Underworld any day now, actually. The back gate is a portal that goes there, so I'm hoping I can find another gate to the Faerie Realm once I'm inside."

Lily frowned and put her legs back down. "Shit, really?"

"Yep." He rubbed his eyes with the palms of his hands. "Apparently there's something nasty on the other side of the gate that I might have to deal with. After that, it sounds like I just need to roam around Purgatory or whatever for just a little bit until I can find the portal I need to get to faerie land."

"Hmm." Lily furrowed her brow. "Romeo, you're aware of the danger of walking into the Underworld...right?"

Mike picked up the book he was looking at and turned it to face her. It showed a tree biting a man in half. "I've got some ideas. Can't tell which ones are any good. And once I get to the queen's court, I'm half expecting some form of betrayal once I'm there, so I've been trying to bone up on faerie law. The queen created this bargain, and I fully expect her to try and weasel out of it. The only thing I can find is that the bargain can be reneged or altered if one party challenges the other to a contest or a duel, but the other party has to agree to it. But it can't be made under duress, and the challenger gets to pick the location. I don't know how she'd make me break our agreement that way, but I should brush up, just in case."

"Enough about faerie law, let's go back to the Underworld. You're alive. You can't just waltz on in there, you'll draw so much attention." She snatched the book from his hand and slammed it shut. "From all sorts of spirits."