INSTANT CRUSH: AOT One-shots

Levi » Slow Dancing in a Burning World

canon-verse

"Even as a squad leader with years of experience the weight of missions isn't light, but luckily there is a place where you can seek solace after such draining days."

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Deafening silence plagued the Survey Corps HQ. And although this was no unusual occurrence after curfew, tonight, it was different.

It was the kind of hefty, grim stillness that would settle after the Scouts' return from one of their expeditions. On nights like these, the soldiers who were lucky enough to make it back would skip dinner and curl up in their rooms, haunted by images of the gruesome few hours spent beyond the safety of the walls, their whimpers seeping into the corridors. Their hands would desperately clamp against their ears to block out the ringing of their comrades' final cries, their eyes shutting tightly in failed endeavors to get some much-needed respite.

One would think that dying on a mission was the worst that could befall a scout, but only those who lived to tell the tale knew that outliving your peers was far more dreadful.

In the Squad Leaders' quarters, the anguish was no less intense. Perhaps the forms of grief weren't as prominent, for most of them had gotten used to seeing youth they trained, disciplined, and shared banquets and banter with fall behind on the battlefield, but by no means did the recurrence of it all make the affliction less crippling.

Perched on the edge of your bed, you stared out the window at the glowing, full moon. To sleep after a mission was impossible, and even more so this one. You had no more tears left to cry. You'd wept plenty in your first years as a recruit. All that was left now was the guilt and heartache of a heavier duty you'd believed yourself strong enough to bear. But fortunately, there was still one place where you could seek some semblance of solace after such draining days.

Throwing a robe over your shoulders and sliding into a pair of slippers, you held the lantern on your night table and left your bedroom. Certain that Levi wouldn't be in his chambers, you crossed the dimly lit hallways en route to the offices. Once at his door, you didn't bother to knock before quietly twisting the knob and stepping in. His gaze sharply flitted from the document he was scribbling on to you, taut traits relaxing ever so slightly at your sight.

The stack of papers before him drew a smile to your lips; he'd always drowned his sorrows in paperwork.

No greetings were uttered. Silently, you grabbed a chair and rounded the desk as Levi made room for you. A quill and paper were already awaiting by the time you made yourself comfortable beside him. With no delay, you dipped the nib into the inkwell and proceeded to fill out the forms detailing today's losses.

As usual, the quiet was significantly less daunting with Levi by your side. Every name jotted down eroded a sliver of the pressure you'd been carrying around. And while the irony and injustice of the situation were not lost on you, you still couldn't help but find yourself in awe of him, of how someone so intimidating and austere could radiate such a soothing aura. Although more than anyone, you knew that there was so much more to him than met the eye.

You could vividly recall how rebellious and distant he'd been at first, the turning point in his bearing only coming a while after, at the cost of his two best friends' lives. As though their demise had, at last, made him accept his destiny within the Scouts, he'd since become less callous, more responsible and reliable, friendly even, though in his own way. Every day and situation had brought to light more of his underlying qualities, and every interaction had strengthened his bonds with his comrades.