The House Above the Sea

13.

"You are grumpy."

After handing a lumpy, ice-filled bag of halibut off to Mr. Li, a teacher from the local high school, Neo turns to look at Bernie. "I'm—what?"

A bell rings in their ears as Mr. Li steps out and leaves Bernie and Neo alone once again. She's leaned back against the industrial fridge, arms crossed over her rubbery apron, her gaze as inescapable as a storm. "How long have you been working here, Neo? A week, maybe?" Bernie starts, shifting her weight to her other hip. "Anyway, you always come in so peppy, you know? Your fish-wrapping sucks but I keep you around because your youth is energizing."

"Oh, great. Glad I could help."

"But today," Bernie goes on, as if he said nothing, "you're walking around all defeated, like someone beat you up and took your lunch money." A thoughtful pause. "Is that it? Did someone beat you up and take your lunch money?"

Neo shakes his head.

Bernie's face softens, the sharp angle of her thick eyebrows curving into a genial, expressive arch. Her voice lower, she says, "Is it about your family again?"

Isn't it always? Neo thinks, but what comes out is: "I'm grounded, Bernie. That's all."

For a moment Bernie just drops her arms to her sides and studies him, and Neo thinks for sure he is screwed—Bernie's read his mind and knows that's not the whole truth and now she will most certainly beat him upside the head with the moldy floor mop.

Instead, she just lets out a dramatic sigh and retreats to the back closet. "Grounded," she mutters. "Upset because you have to stay home for a couple nights when people are out here paying bills every goddamn month—"

The rest of Bernie's words dissolve into the background when the bell dings again; Neo lifts his head, spouting off the common welcome, but falters when he recognizes the short, black-haired girl that walks in.

In the daylight she looks even more like Kit, not just in the subtle wave of her hair or the dust of freckles along her bronze skin, but the way she moves, the way her eyes go round and then suddenly flat again when she recognizes Neo behind the counter. It's the same little jolt of surprise that crosses Kit's face every time Neo shows up at the house, as if Kit's always stunned he bothered coming back.

"Elsie," Neo starts.

"A pound of red snapper, please," Elsie snaps, watching the shimmering, blue-tiled floor instead of Neo's face.

Neo doesn't move.

"Are you deaf?" Elsie says, and her eyes flit up, just barely, as if it's physically exhausting to do so for more than a few seconds. "I came here to get fish for my mom. That's your job, isn't it? To get me what I ask for?"

Neo is a sane person, he's pretty sure. He knows that the best thing to do in this situation is to wrap up her snapper, however sloppily, and hand it off to her. He knows the best thing to do is let her walk away without mentioning a word about Kit.

Yet somehow, he just can't do it.

He steps forward, resting his arms atop the glass case. "I'm sorry about last night," he begins, because he is. He hadn't wanted to hurt her. He'd just wanted to give her hope. "That was really stupid of me. I didn't mean to, uh, reopen any wounds?"

Elsie tilts her head, an almost amused scowl crossing her face. "God."

"What?"

"You're serious, aren't you?"

Neo sputters. He wasn't expecting it to be so easy. "Yes!" he says, nodding. He can picture it now, the reunion; certainly it would wipe that faraway look from Kit's face, certainly it would remind him that he's still human. "I am serious. I've seen Kit, talked to him. If you'd just go see him, then—"

Elsie laughs: a strange, emotional noise, as bittersweet as ginger tea. "I get it. Ha, ha, ha. Let's toy with the resident freak, anything to make yourself feel better, right? You don't think I've seen this before?"

He knows his voice is pleading, and he hates how it sounds, but there's nothing he can do. "Elsie..."

"Word of advice for you, new kid."

Neo sighs. "It's Neo."

"Word of advice for you, Neo," she corrects, spitting the word out like it's poison. "Don't listen to a word anyone around here says. In fact, you'd be better off just leaving now."

"But—"

Elsie turns sharply away, gripping the shell at her throat. "The snapper, please," she says, and though he could be imagining it, there's a tiny crack in her voice, the echo of a heart tired of breaking. "I really need to get going."

There's more he should say; he can't afford to give up. But whatever words would move the stable earth to which Elsie is glued, he does not have them. He gives her the snapper, watches her disappear out into the sunlit street, a flash of dark hair against bright clothes.

"That your girlfriend?"

Neo jolts, swearing he felt his soul leave his body for a second. "No!" he yelps, whirling to find Bernie standing behind him. "What—no. Jesus."

Bernie shrugs. "I'm just saying. You were staring after her quite longingly. I felt like I was watching a Hallmark drama."

"Bernie," Neo says, forcing a smile. "Can I take my break early?"

When Joey answers the phone, he's so out of breath that Neo's heart starts to speed. "Joey? What's up? Were you running from something?"

"What?" Joey says between huffs. "No, I was just running, like, for fun. Should I be worried?"

"Gross," Neo answers, leaning against the painted brick wall of the break room, "and, no. Listen—remember when you said you tried to cover for me last night?"

There's a long silence that makes Neo worry this is going to be harder than he thought. Then Joey says simply, "Oh, no."

"I need you to do that again, please," Neo says, pushing a hand up into his hair. "But like, please succeed this time. It's important."

"It's important. Okay. Are you ever going to tell me what it is?"

Neo stammers, stumbling over his tongue. He was so ready to tell him the night before. So why here, now, does it not feel right?

Bernie appears at the room's threshold, giving three quick taps on her watch.

"I will, Joey. One day, I will," Neo says, and he means it, he really does; the secret of Kit's existence is growing too heavy to carry by himself. "So can you trust me for now?"

Now Bernie is glaring at him.

Joey sighs. "Fine, I guess?"

Neo almost collapses to the floor in relief. "Thanks, Joey. I owe you one!"

"You owe me two at this point, but whatever. Don't do anything reckless."

"Look who's talking," Neo says, and hangs up, retying his apron.

Just hang on, Kit, he thinks. I think I know what we have to do.