lovesick ➳ destiel oneshots

teas•ing

description: Dean and Cas make fun of each other all day, and then pretend to break up. Sam is convinced and sad.

note: Day six of my thirty day writing challenge!

words: 2,000

☁

Today, Dean and Cas have been going at it all throughout the morning and afternoon. Not like that, fucking pervert. In Sam's sense, they've been arguing all day, and Sam is scared they'll break up.

Ever since they got puked up from purgatory, they haven't left each others side. Literally. Everywhere Cas goes Dean wants to follow and vice versa. Sam knew all along Dean was hella gay, and when he means hella gay, he means so much so that he could stand in front of a crowd, waving a bisexual flag around, all while flailing his dick out for any men or women who want a taste, and it wouldn't bother him in the slightest.

Weird analogy, but it was true. Dean was the gayest to ever gay, and Castiel's eyes were the bluest to ever blue, while also being the gayest to ever gay. It all started that morning when they were at a hotel, and Dean was talking about Cas being a third-tier agent, if he ever decided to pretend to be one.

In Cas' response, he said. "Well at least I don't look like a lumberjack."

And Sam saw it in Dean's eyes. The confused green eyes that said "Sorry, babe, but it's true." 

"You literally look like if Columbo and Constantine had a love child, Cas." Dean replied blatantly.

"I don't know who those people are. But seriously, Dean, plaid is obnoxious."

Dean literally gasped. "It is not! Flannels are amazing, bitch! What about the same trench coat you wear everyday?"

Crowley was standing off to the side, watching their argument while Sam furrowed his eyebrows, confused.

"You told me the other night, 'Babe, that trench coat is so goddamn sexy on you. Keep it on but take everything else off.'" Cas replied, trying to do the best Dean voice he could. And to Sam and Crowley, it was pretty spot on.

Sam's mouth was wide open, and Crowley had his hands in his pockets, clearly amused. Dean looked around sheepishly, his ears tinted pink and his face flushed, very embarrassed. The hunter licked his lips, and made eye contact with Sam for a split second.

"I did not." Dean chuckled, trying to shrug it off.

"Yes, you did. I listened to you and then you sucked my-"

"Oh my God, Cas! Shut the fuck up!"

Sam and Crowley let out the biggest, most amused laugh ever. It sounded like somebody ran over a rubber chicken with a lawnmower and just left it there as the poor chicken got ripped to shreds, shrieking out its last, wise proclamation of screams. Cas was now amused, as well, looking at the two of them while Dean's eyes looked like they were on fire.

"We need to talk." Dean growled, clenching his teeth.

Dean grabbed Cas' arms as the angel looked back to the youngest hunter and the King of Hell. Yeah, weird right? Dean swooped them around a corner and kissed the angel's lips.

"Great job. That was amazing. But, next time... don't mention anything about our sex life, alright?" Dean nodded, trying to convince Cas.