Love, Mikaela | A Lesbian Romance

Mikaela

Zarah,

Wow! That's so cute! I can imagine a little you, sitting in front of a tv and discovering yourself. It's an amazing thing to imagine.

I went on a date with this guy named Anthony Jacobs in ninth grade. At the end of it he kissed me and I felt nothing. To be honest, I was kinda disgusted. As he leaned down, I just wanted to turn in the other direction, and run. When I told my friends, they brushed it off. Said it was first date nerves. That I'd get over it after a few more dates. That sounded reasonable, so I tried it out.

I won't lie; I enjoyed some of my dates. This super cute guy named Nevis Sky—side note but like how hot is his name?— took me on a super amazing dinner and a movie date. He was a perfect gentleman the whole time, opened the door for me and everything. When it came time for the goodnight kiss, I wanted to puke so bad that I did. On his new vans. He was mad but still drove me home. In my room I cried for an hour before reading up on why I found the thought of being with guys so disgusting. I read a hundred articles that night, and most of them suggested I take a shot at the other gender. I laughed them off, but stopped going on dates. That is into last year when my an aunt made a joke about me possibly being gay—you know cause I never went out with anyone. Hearing someone else say what I tried so hard to deny made it real for me, and I guess that's when I truly knew. My parents laughed my aunt's words off but I guess she hit a nerve because they started setting me up with their friends' sons.

Sorry for the long story. You're the first person I'm telling all this too, and I didn't want to leave anything out.

— Sent March 31st —