Agreement Marriage

Shattered Dreams

A message from Arjun...

Hi!
I will be travelling to Europe for some official reasons so take care of granny until I come back. Bye!

I felt like I wanted to cry out louder but I couldn't do anything in the office. I went to the washroom and sobbed. Why did he do this? Why is he distancing himself ? Did he feel guilty last night? Did he think it was a mistake? Or he doesn't like me? Tears rolled down from my eyes uncontrollably. I was sure he was interested in me but because of this sudden change, I took some time to compose myself, wash my face and go to my place. I wanted to talk with him. I yearned to hear his voice but I was afraid to face his ignorance so I thought to text him...

Hi!
Sure I will take care of granny. Have a safe and happy journey. Take care.
(Miss you... Love you)
I texted him excluding those last four words I wanted to type, but I was reluctant to confess now.

I went home after working hours and I had a word with granny. Through her I came to know Arjun returned home late in the afternoon. He packed his luggage and left for the airport.

I went to my room, locked myself, I threw myself on the floor and cried miserably, at my shattered dreams. What happened to him suddenly I want to know the reason for his overnight disappearance.I felt suffocated, last night thoughts in the same room haunted me badly. My heart was longing to see him or atleast to hear his voice but I knew he was avoiding me purposely. Didn't I have the right to know the reason behind this? I knelt on my knees and cried louder from my heart.

Why is it happening to me?
What did I do?

Something twitched in my stomach, I was dizzy, I lost my strength to get up on my knees. He was the one who initiated everything between us now he disappeared all of a sudden.

Is it because he really dislikes me?
Or is it something else?

Though I married him for money, I fell for him genuinely. I love the person Arjun, not the millionaire Arjun but how to make him understand that. Not only yesterday night many times he tried to move close to me. I knew that well he gave some lame excuses for that, I was reluctant. But the first time I accepted him wholeheartedly but he rejected me. I looked at myself in the mirror and I whimpered thinking about the morning how happy I was? how excitedly I dressed up to meet him? but he is not even interested in talking to me. I felt like I was a joker without knowing about him completely. I fell for him.

But he just took me as another girl just like that, he played with my heart and left me. Now there is no use to disclose my heart, I have to keep everything with me, there is no future for my love. If I confess he may think I'm a gold digger and doing this for his money, so I will bury my love within me. I sobbed a lot until I got a painful sleep.

Next day I got up with a heavy headache. I remembered yesterday's events and wished whatever happened yesterday could be a dream but I got to see my swollen eyes, smudged kajal and tear stains on my cheeks which proves everything that happened was real not a dream.

Arjun left me alone...
I'm unsure when he will come back?
Will he come back ??
I was shattered at this thought no..no... He will definitely come at least for his granny's sake though he hates that he can't leave granny alone for a long time.

Does he really hate me?
Whatever happened between us was real. But is that because of his physical need?
Didn't he have any feelings for me? Didn't he consider me as his wife ?

I feebled, tears rolled down and I tried to control it. I decided how I should live here until that agreement time. I'm not going to bother anyone. I won't let others bother me.

I went to the washroom fresh up and left for the office . I didn't meet granny with this swollen face and puffy eyes. I dedicated myself and focused only on my work. I started to spend more time in the office. I never gave space for other thoughts, especially about him.

My heart ached a lot. I still had little hope about him secretly. I waited for his return. I want to throw my depression on him. I forgot to take care of myself. I was living like a body without a soul. My everyday life starts and ends with the question why did he leave me? The same thought almost eats me every day and night. I didn't know when I fell for him so deep ?? I guess this might be the magic behind marriage. But it's piercing my soul.

Days rolled on.... weeks passed on....

But I didn't receive any calls or texts from him. I have no idea about him but I had to manage my granny as well as my family about him, it was really difficult for me. I want to smack him for letting me face all this.

After two months...

I got up from my sleep after hearing some familiar voice. I was restless to hear that voice, is it that same voice? Am I hearing after two months?
Or Am I dreaming ?
No it's real I'm hearing the voice still, yes It is none other than Arjun. I peeked out of my room to confirm I could see his legs slightly. I moved to see his body still I pushed myself to look at his face. Finally I had a glance of him and that smile killed my day and night. My vision blurred with tears. I wept silently and went to my room.

I pushed my face on my knees and cried thinking about our last moment together it was still like a dream, the dream which I expected never to end. Finally he is here but I'm not able to look at him something is in my mind warning me to not to shower my love. If I do, who knows he may run away again, no I can't let that happen let him stay here. I can't bear his separation once again. At least I can see him, I can feel his presence around me. It is more than enough for me. I know I'm not to his status so I can't be his wife I'm a normal employee for him so better I should stay in my limits. From now onwards no expectations.. No regrets.. I gasped my breathe.

To the outside world we both are husband and wife but inside in this room he is nothing to me, we have nothing between us, this is my fate I closed my mouth and sobbed. Anytime he comes, I should be prepared to face him. I went to the washroom, finished my morning routine and came out.

As I expected he was sitting on the couch with his laptop, I didn't mind him and went to the dressing table. I want to prove to him he is not affecting me anyway even though it is not true I acted like that. I started to comb my hair and clutched it all together, I applied day cream, kajal to cover up my swollen eyes, finally vermillion on my forehead, while doing that my fingers trembled. I know his gaze on me. He tried to initiate a conversation but I ignored it. I didn't look at him. I wanted to be strong in front of him, so I started to pack my office bag. Once I checked everything I left the room ignoring his calls. I held my breath in control. I never want to break down in front of him. Also, I didn't want him to know about my love and how I missed him because he didn't bother about me all these days then why should I? He is a stone hearted man.

Without meeting granny I peeked out of the house. I knew she would shoot me with her questions so I left the office. But I was not aware a pair of eyes were watching me profusely. As usual I started to work ignoring his thoughts, suddenly I got a call.... from some unexpected person.

So who is that????

To be continued...

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