A girl named Olivia who is... Clueless
What happens when she meets Harry Styles he makes her feel... Clueless.
"That's it, told you I'd have you screaming in seconds. Let everyone know how good I make you feel. How only I can make you feel,"
NGL TH...
Thankfully my period came and went. Harry was extremely sweet to me. He cuddled me and got me anything I needed. He even bought be 4 King size Hershey bars and 3 packs of gummy bears. We stayed all over each other not wanting to be away from one another. We always found a way to touch each other; it was almost like we had to just to make sure that the other was still there.
Harry was so scared I'd fall if I was alone even for a split second because I have an iron deficiency issue. Especially with my period and all the blood loss, I'm way more likely to faint. So yes, Harry came into the bathroom with me. I tried to argue with him but he insisted. Don't worry, I made him stand in the shower so he wouldn't see me.. yk.. "clean".
My feelings for Harry are progressing. It's been about a month of me being on tour with them and I've taken a liking to the curly-headed lad. He is everything I've never had before. He cares, he's kind, he knows how to calm me down, he knows exactly what to say to me and when, and he doesn't force me to do anything I don't want to do. He is.. dare I say... Perfect.
Apart from what happened earlier, all of last week me Niall and Harry just ate anything and everything I was craving. He is such a funny little church boy. I do feel bad for using him, especially when I didn't fully know him but I needed a distraction that night. We all had a talk about it and we're all cool. Harry made sure Niall knew I'm only his and Niall didn't even argue. I guess he knows how Harry is. I appreciated his cooperation though.
Anyways, currently, I'm in the backroom writing in my journal. Harry finally let me out of his sight for once just because he had a meeting with the rest of the boys upstairs. He told me I couldn't be there but once he's done he promises to hold me and tell me everything he likes about me. I didn't have a problem with that so I didn't care he was leaving for a meeting.
I focused back on what I was writing. I love writing with music playing but because I'm on the One Direction Tour I decided to only play 1D. I'm listening to Little Black Dress, one of my favorites. Over the past month and having to constantly attend their concerts I have come to the realization that I actually LOVE their music. My opinion on them completely changed. They're not the stuck up popstars I once thought they were.
It's like Harry opened my eyes for me and is making me see the world for the first time. I know, I know, it's cliche.
I liked to write in my journal about what I'm feeling and to reflect on my past. Today I'm writing about being with Harry or at least trying to. I kept getting my thoughts interrupted because I kept stopping to sing and dance along to the music.
As I'm writing, Spotify glitches and starts playing Taylor Swift. I immediately get up to change this awful shit she calls music. In doing so, I knock my journal off the coffee table. It falls flat open facing the ground. I don't think anything of it and stand to switch the song to Fool's Gold. Then, I go to pick up my journal.
I pick it up and my face pales. It's flipped to the page. The page that reminded me of my misery. The page that haunts me of my past. I tried not to flip to this page, the words sending me into a time machine and taking me back to my past; the past I work so hard not to show or remember.
My heart rate picks up as I stare down at this traumatic page. This god damn memorable page. I wanted to rip it up and set it on fire so many times but I could never bring myself to it no matter how much it hurt me.
I stay crouched on the ground with the journal in my hands. I reread the page that haunted me.
Storm
A storm of confusion, Not from love, but of Heartbreak. Hearts of glass shattering, The tiny shards slicing my eyes. What did I see in you? Love, a box of nothing, filled with empty words. Anger taking over, I see red, feeling fire. Burning the memories in my head, Goodbye.
- Olivia
(a/n: yes I actually wrote this last year when I had a breakup)
I finish reading and don't even notice the tears that slipped out of my eyes until I saw the wet spots on my journal. Memories were flooding back and I had to stop them. I had to forget. It hurt too much to remember. Uncontrollable emotions streamed through me like a rapid river.
I finally look up when I feel a pair of strong arms wrap around me from behind on the ground. I lean back into Harry's chest and just let it out.
"It's ok not be ok sometimes baby," he whispers in my ear as I lean back against him more. He always made me feel safe. He always made me feel like I would never get hurt with him around.
"I- I can't talk about it, I d-don't know how to s-say it," I sobbed out in his arms. He'll eventually find out what happened but I can't tell him now, I just need to feel safe right now and I know I am with him holding me. I know he read the poem, he must've been looking over my shoulder as he sat down. I was so overwhelmed in my thoughts I hadn't even heard him or feel him sit down behind me. He sensed I just needed him to hold me as he lovingly stroked my hair in his fingers.
"Shhh it's ok liv, I have you. Don't worry about it, everything's going to be fine," he soothes as I try and focus on my breathing. I need to calm down or I'm going to hyperventilate.
1-2-3 breathe.
4-5-6 breathe.
7-8-9 breathe.
10.
"You're alright baby girl, you're safe with me," he calmly says and kisses the top of my forehead.
As I try to calm myself down, I realize something. Harry makes me feel something I've never felt before. He cares for me. He always makes sure I'm ok. He runs his fingers through my hair to comfort me. He holds me. He kisses me. He cuddles me even in his sleep. He trusts me. He sings to me. He makes me feel absolutely clueless about anything and everything else in the world. It's like him and I are the only things that matter when we're together.
I pull away from his chest and turn around in his hold. I look up at his emerald eyes and see they're filled with adoration. And something else I couldn't quite name.
//
A/N
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Hey pretty laddies, I have some news.
I'm pregnant
just kidding,
I have an idea for a new book!!!
I know I'm not doing a sequel for Clueless and It's coming to an end soon. I had only planned for it to be like 30-40 chapters anyways.
