Marvel One Shots + Imagines

Bucky - What Should Have Been

Pairing: Bucky x female reader (she/her)

description: bucky goes to war and leaves his world behind.

word count: 1.92k

There was a moment when she looked in the mirror and gazed at her own reflection, in which she contemplated the existence of his memory in her mind. She never thought she would be able to forget his face; she had accepted that his gorgeous eyes and unforgettable grin would be imprinted in the backs of her eyelids for the entirety of her life. But it had seemed these past 912 days had gradually diminished him inside her mind.

The empty years without him had been hard. After 17088 hours without him, she began to realise she had forgotten what he looked like. There were photos of course, but hearing his name brought to life some beautiful and painful memories with an attractive yet blank faced man named Bucky.

It was heart breaking, to say the least.

He knew it would be a long battle, the duration of his fight unpredictable; plans highly likely to change, locations to be altered. They had endured the excruciating discussion of their relationship while he was gone. It wasn't fair to ask her to wait. Evidently, leaving was one of the hardest things they both had experienced. She was left with her heart low in her stomach and a crumpled, tear-soaked old photo of him, young and grinning at the camera for some posed photograph. He was Bucky then, before he had grown into his thick uniform and adapted his formal identification of Soldier James Buchanan Barnes.

It seemed now that she had forgotten the image of both of those men.

The Bucky she knew to remember was bright, reckless and unbelievably caring. She wondered if all his time away from the rest of the world had changed him in any way. Perhaps his exposure to the brutalities of war had stiffened him, created a harsh, mortifying barrier between him and anyone to ever get close to him again.

Although she no longer knew his image, she still waited, in hopes for the day he would return so that she may end her suffering of wondering...imagining the differences in character he may have formed into.

Despite their separation, she hadn't moved on. Even in her young age, she was never even tempted to explore a man or woman outside the realms of her Bucky Barnes. She clung to the memories of their dreams together. Their created hopes to scope through the giant world they lived among, to escape the business of Brooklyn and see the types of foreign lifestyles they were missing out on.

While they dreamed they settled for adventures and mischievous outings in their own little world. He would meet her outside of the diner she worked at, only after bugging her for the last two hours of her late shift. He did so for her company and the free french fry or two she'd throw his way every few minutes. There, they'd bundle up and stroll casually further into town, where the lights were seemingly bright and dim at the same time for the small, cheap area they resided in. Only after eating endless cones of peppermint ice cream would they both feel satisfied enough to eventually wander to his or her home, and then their own separate ways.

He was more than respectful of their space. In fact, the difference in their relationship compared to others of his in the past was the slow pace they shared on the physical side of their relationship. Strangely for him, he didn't mind one bit. It seemed each time she so much as smiled in his direction or laughed by his cause, he experienced a world of satisfaction and warm pleasure that was undoubtedly better than any sweaty night spent in a strangers bed like he used to.

They had met lips once or twice, however.

At a crowded event at the drive-in theatres, a sappy comedy played over the projection. He didn't remember one moment from the film, perhaps because his eyes were fixated on her the entire the time. Cramped in his car, she rested her head against her hand and propped it up on the car door. Each time she laughed, her eyes lit up and that warm fluttering erupted inside Bucky's stomach.