ethereal fantasies || benjey

5.

i'm very tired and got back from a protest but vibe
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Jorge's POV
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"Jorge get the fuck up already!"

I jumped at the loud noise, it was my father. I had another dream about Benji. Jesus christ.

Then I remembered, I had never found out if Benji was okay yesterday.

I quickly got out of my bed, and remade it before looking around for my phone.

I stood and accidentally kicked it as I walked, finding it had been on the floor, dead.
When will I ever remember to charge it?

I picked it up and plugged it into the charger while I shuffled over to my dresser to fix my hair and put on some clothes.

I kept getting flashes of my dream stuck in my head. Benji was starting to become to only thing I could think of lately, it was driving me insane.

Benji obviously wasn't as perfect as he seemed, but I didn't ever think something truly could be 'wrong' in his life.
That's why I've always disliked him.
I never understood why someone could be so
flawless.

I checked the weather and threw on a hoodie to finish up my look.
Nevertheless, I looked like shit. I couldn't lie, I felt like it too. I grabbed my phone and sent a quick text to Syd, requesting Benji's social media so I could message him. I had to dodge the questions about why, and just convinced him to give me the @.

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jeyjeygardi:  hey, are you alright?

notbenjikrol: jorge garay? asking me if I'm alright? interesting. I'm fine- why?

jeyjeygardi: want me to be a dickhead again? because i can ❤️ and yesterday, i just saw something and wanted to know you're alright .

notbenjikrol: please no- and oh. that was nothing, i'm good ! thanks tho

jeyjeygardi: no problem. see you this weekend i guess?
seen 6:40am

-

I felt fucking stupid.
I didn't even know how to talk to Benji, I couldn't see him out of this perfect boy version I had stuck in my head.
I pocketed my phone and then headed towards the school to get another wretched school day over with.

The time seemed to move slowly throughout the day. Like every second was truly an hour. I hated this school, but mostly I hated seeing everyone who hated me.
Which was a lot of people.
But it was deserved.
I'm a dick, what can I say.

I sort of lagged behind everyone as the day sluggishly dragged on. I told them all about apologizing to Benji, and how we we're going to his party. That basically fixed things within my friend group, yet i still felt weird around Benji.

I only saw him a few times the whole school day, but everytime I did I felt this pit form in my stomach. He left me on seen which was weird, and he never even tried talking to me today, not that I really mind but still, it was weird.
Maybe something is going on with Benji, and I'm close to finding out and so he's trying to distance himself?

I looked up from my book as the teacher announced a new project that'll be assigned. I enterally groaned and sat up a bit straighter in my seat, listening. She didn't announce partners, and instead let us choose. I stood up swiftly and walked towards Benji's desk at the front, gently pushing past and ignoring Syd.

"Hey" I said flatly as I stood next to Benji's desk

"Jj? what's up?"

"let's be partners."

"uhm what?"

"Did I stutter? Partners?" I offered my hand out for him to shake on it. He grabbed it and I felt the pit grow larger in my stomach as he shook my hand then dropped it to his side.

Benji nodded eagerly as a yes, and then moved his desk to be near me.
This is a perfect opportunity to check things out.
"Your house? tonight? to work on this?"

"Uhm, can we do yours instead?"

Benji asked in a reply to my question and I shook my head no. I needed to get to his house. To see things that he didn't want me seeing. I had to know he was alright.

I didn't understand why it was such a big deal to me, but it is. Benji gave up arguing after a few minutes and decided we'd just go to his house after.
I sat while he got his frustration out for a bit by talking abt the assignment and how he didn't understand as I simply doodled on my paper.

I tried to explain the assignment to Benji but he still acted a bit lost; maybe going to his house would also be needed just to grasp the concept anyways. I talked to him until the class bell rang and the teacher dismissed us.

"Meet you at your locker in ten?" I asked and cocked my head. Benji smiled at me and then nodded before disappearing to his locker as I went to mine.

I approached it and turned the lock to my combo fast. I hated to admit it, but I was kind of excited. Not to figure out if abuse was happening in his house or anything, but just to be able to simply hang out with him.

I threw my books in the locker then grabbed my homework and stuffed it into my bad before turning around and faced with Syd.

"Heyo jey, heard you're going to Benji's?"
I heard the almost excitement in his voice, and I nodded, closing my locker.

"Yup, why?"

"Do you think you could maybe put in a good word for me?"

I bit my lip, a venom like taste suffocated my throat. This was Syd though, why was I so upset by what he said. I knew he liked Benji. It's nothing new.

"Uhm oh yeah sure"

Syd light up in a smile and then leaned in and hugged me. I felt myself smile by instinct and I ruffled his hair.

"Thank you thank you! I love u"

I laughed the toxic feeling disappearing, "I love u too, okay gotta go now see ya hoe"

Syd waved as I walked over to Benji's locker across the hall. He had already seen me though. I wondered if he was watching Syd and I? Maybe he did actually have a crush on Syd.

Damn.

"Alright ready to go Krol?" I questioned and stood next to him. He tightened his grip on his backpack strap, and spoke through gritted teeth.

"Now or never I suppose. Let's go."