“What if at the end of this, I don’t choose you, Aga? What will you do?”
I asked, never taking my eyes off him. I want to see his reactions, I want to see the truth. But he looked away. He stood up and walked a few steps away from me.
“I will go, Lea. I will leave, and you and Rob can have your happily ever after.”
He looked back at me. Stared at me for a minute, reading my expression. But I showed no emotion. I just sat there, staring back at the most beautiful black eyes I have ever seen.
“You don't need to tell him about us. Eventually, you two…” he continued, but his voice broke and a tear fell on his cheek, “the two of you would get married, and have children, and have a great life.”
I fought back a sob. “And you? What happens to you in that scenario?”
“I… " he sighed deeply, and whispered "get by. But will I miss you, every day”.
I leaped and run towards him, hugging him from the back. I let myself cry. I let myself grieve for the ending that has never come yet. I can't help it. I can't help it.
“I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I didn't know this would turn out to be very complicated as it is now. But please, please Aga. Hold on tight. Hold on tighter. It will be better. Please, let's not end this. Please don’t leave me. Please stay with me.”
Aga turned to face me. I looked up and saw his tears rolling on his cheeks. He cupped my face and gave me a soft kiss -- warm and comforting.
"I want to be with you Lei. I want to be yours forever. But we will keep on going back and forth if we don't stop this now. You like me, you like him. You want me, you want him. You love me, you love him. You like me, want me, love me but you can never leave him." I saw hurt crossed his eyes. And it pained me more because I know that it's the truth. And that whatever I do, unless I decided who to choose, I will be hurting him even more.
"I want to be someone's only one. To be someone's everything. I want to love and be loved with equal fire and passion. I want to be someone's center, someone's heart." his face softened. And I saw how his eyes burned with passion.
I searched his eyes. And a gush of fright suddenly came to me. Will I ever equal his love? Can i ever love him back as much as he loves me? I looked down. I hesitated. We stood in silence for a while. I felt him hug me tight. I just stood there. Drowning in my anxities, in my own emotions, my worries. I didn't know how long I stayed there, still. I just realized I was alone when I the cool air embraced me.
He left. Aga's gone.
