Life isn't fair

The wedding day

{Jiang cheng's POV}

I stood right there, behind Lan Xichen as he held Yao's hands, looking straight into his eyes with love as they spoke their vows, promising to stay by each other's side until death parts them. Finally kissing as the crowd went wild.

I saw myself making the same vows like this years ago before kissing the same lips and feeling the same excitement.

I remembered a vow that I had said "I will sacrifice myself for your joy, I will even die for your happiness. No matter what it takes I will stay by your side, in your rights and your wrongs. Even if that means to let my happiness go."

I smiled before realizing that it was time to fulfill my vow. I had to let my happiness.I had to be ready to share everything with Yao, i had to accept him into our family, I needed to be a true clan Leader.

They held a celebration after their wedding in which everyone was invited too. I watched from a distance how happy the couple were. Smiling as I saw Yao so happy in Lan Xichen's embrace.I held their wedding present in my hand, as i walked up to them. I hugged Yao before I gave him my gift.

"Here is a perfect present for a perfect couple!" I spoke, trying my best not to break in front of them.

" Thank you so much Jiang Cheng! I can't tell you how happy I am right now!" He cried out. After a few more small talks I excuse myself and went to Wei-ing.

" Jiang Cheng! how are you doing" Wei ing said as approached him

" alright, I guess." I replied as I grabbed a alcohol bottle

" When we were younger you were so protective of your things, you would never share anything that was really special to you. Yet you let Lan Xichen marry Yao! I am gonna be really honest with you, If Lan Zhan ever wanted to get married to someone else I would kill him and if someone was trying to marry him without his permission I would kill the person." Wei ing babbled on as he took a sip of his 6 th drink.

I excused myself again but this time left for my room. I couldn't take it anymore. I broke out crying halfway to my room, some of the clan members looking at me in worry. I couldn't help but blame myself for not satisfying Lan Xichen's needs. I had failed to give Lan Xichen a future leader, it was all my fault! I kept talking to myself before I fell asleep on the floor.

________________________________________________________

I woke up when I heard Lan Xichen and Yao talking about their party. I quietly got up and changed into my night wear and got in bed. I was still half asleep when I heard a knock and a Creaking of the door opening.

"A- Cheng"

I was so exhausted from all the crying and pain I couldn't even open my eyes. So I simply ignored his call. I felt the sheets rustle and the shifting on the mattress until I felt heavy weight on my body. I groaned in pain as I opened my eyes to see Lan Xichen on me.

"What are you doing?!" I whispered-shouted at him

"I was looking for you when I found out you had left the party before everyone else did. Do you have an explanation? Why are you taking your Anger out on Yao, he only did this because of his father!" He said as he put more weight on me, making me groan more in pain.

"I wasn't feeling w-well-t a-and i did t-talk to him. I left after I was done talking Wei-ing." I answered trying to end the conversation quickly

"You can't lie to me"

"..........."

"Why did you leave" he asked this time grabbing my chin and making me look up at him

"H-how would y-you f-feel if I married someone else right in front of you and accepted you not to cry?! "I spoke as I fought back tears

" UHG. We're starting this again! I told you it's for his own good. I am doing it to keep him safe and you know he's my sworn brother. I would ever married him if it weren't for his father, you know his condition. It is his last wish." He said in his frustrated tone

"I know , I know, I don't have a problem with this. I was just tired from drinking with Wei-ing so I left and right now you're wasting your time. You should be with Yao right now, he is waiting for you in your new room. Go to him!"I said,getting up and pulling Lan Xichen off the bed and towards the exit.

" wha-"

"Have fun on your honeymoon and try not to be too loud." I said with a smile that hid pain behind it. Pain so deep that no deep sea diver could ever fix it. I kissed his lips for the last time. Knowing that the next time our lips would meet, it would be long after.

I pushed him towards his and Yao's new bedroom before I walked back to my room and closing the door.

I cried even more this time as now blood left my body instead of salt water. My legs wobbled and hands shook as I realized what I had just done. I couldn't believe myself! I saw the blood running down my arm and landing in a pool go blood that already laid on the floor.

The small silver blade was satisfying me more than ever. reminding me of my mistakes and how useless I was. Sliding it through my skin again. Feeling the pleasure, then the pain, feeling the blood flow out, feeling my heavy eyes close, the tiredness taking over again. But I didn't stop, I kept going. I kept reminding myself how I couldn't give my husband what he needed, reminding myself I couldn't provide a new leader for my clan. As Lan Xichen and Yao molded their bodies together, I molded myself with the silver blade.

Alright everyone Chapter 1 and 2 are officially edited and in the next few days all the other chapters will be too, So Please don't lose hope in me. I will finish this book hopefully by the end of the month!