The disastrous chains of despair // Nagito X Reader ( Not A Oneshot )

The grinning despair

I stared at my breakfast as if could me give some answer of the many questions I had in my head. My body still felt kinda sick because I'm not sure what was going on here. How silly to think that a toast with cheese and an egg would know something I don't. Slowly I started to eat my toast. I'm wasn't that hungry but I thought it would be better if I eat something. Everyone where talking. Nearly everyone was very worried. I would be worried if they wouldn't be. But I wasn't. I was just confused after all. Everywhere where those voices. And they were so loud. I felt like they would invade my mind. My hand crushed uncontrollable my platter and it slowly sounds like it would get cracks soon. But I didn't noticed till I heard a feminine voice

"Is everything okay?"
A short read haired girl stood infornt of me with a slitly worried expression
"I'm sorry. I'm alright"
I retort to her. She didn't seem to be satisfied with this answer but I had to clarify that my voice sounds like creap since I had arrive. I put a smile on my face and tried to talk again
"I just had heave headache yesterday and I guess I'm not fully recovered yet. But I'm fine really"

I hoped that this time I sounded more friendly. I didn't want to be mean to anyone I just didn't felt like my body is doing alright. She gave me a little smile as her answer, then I noticed her camera. Maybe she is the ultimate photographer or something like this ran through my head
"Anyways, if you need something just ask me okay?"
The red haired slowly left my side after I gave her a soft nodding as an sign that I had understand her. Actually I don't know her name I have to ask her later.

I was enjoying my breakfast pretty alone but it didn't bothered me. From my wodden seat I was able to inspiziert the other students. There was a really tall one and one who looked like a chef. I was a bit surprised to see a blond haired dressed into a kimono and also someone with very long purple hair dressed in some way of work clothes from a nurse. As well I saw the kind girl with the black-colourful hair from the beach as well.

Suddenly my eyes meet his withe hair. I didn't noticed that he was standing a bit in the background of the room alone in a corner just like me.

The hall was a very big one and behind us was something that I would consider as a kitchen. Even if Monokuma praised that this is one of the huged halls on the island, I didn't think it was okay to just let him sit there alone. Quickly I decided. In hurry I tooked my plate still with some of the toast on it and moved myself to his trabel. He didn't seem to notice me at first as well. I caught him inspecting the other students just like I did.

"You can sit down young lady"
He said to me while chuckling a bit
"Young lady?"
"Isn't this something gentlemen say today?"
The white haired looked at me with an insicure expression
"No I mean... It's just"
I wasn't even sure what I tried to explain as I sat down at the chair across from his
"I see I made a mistake. I hope-"
"No that wasn't at all what I'm trying to say. I wanted to say that no one ever had said this to me"

A bit embarrassed I looked at him and layed my (s/c)-hands on my knees. As his emerald green eyes and my (e/c)-eyes meet again, I felt this prepossessing feeling through my bones like the first time we meet at my cottage. My mind was that much sinked in, the reality came back to me as his pale face was closer to mine now. What is he going to do? Slowly he pulled a part of my (h/c)-hair back behind my ear
"I thought it may annoy you"
He said with his calm a bit high voice and comftable smile on his lightly pink lips
"Thank you"
I didn't know what to reply

"And found anyone suspicious?"
more or less i said this as a joke
"I'm not really looking for anyone suspicious. I rather search for potential"
His voiced raised a bit just like he was exiting
"Potential? What do you mean?"
"Don't you feel this good spirit the ultimates are spreading?"
"Good vibes? Everyone in here is more desperate than during a summer sale where no one can find their size"
"Aren't you desperate?"
He asked a bit impatient
"During a summer sale where I can't find my size?. I'm not this really out going person. I rather stayed desperated in front of my homework if you understand"
We both laughed a bit till something broke the silence I couldn't really classify
"I really want to see this despair all around while you nearly towards the edge"
Even his eyes seem to be amazed by this thought
"What?"
My confusion was written on my forehead
"Don't get me wrong but once you are at the edge, don't you come back fully covered in hope? I really want to see you at your lowest point and even more the moment you see how amazing you are for even mange this challenge"
Somehow I felt flustered hearing him saying this. Of course it was strange but I assumed he meant this as a compliment

"Good Morning my new toys"
Said a very common but annoying voice
"It's me the lovely Monokuma you all have missed"
I heard some groans running through the bunch of students. At this time I haven't been able to check out all the students
"Not him again"
My voice had lost it's confusion and changed it into irritation
"Where is his pink friend?"
I looked back to Nagito who was a way nicer signt
"Monomi?"
"Yes the pink plush. She is her sister right?"
I nooded
"As far as I can remember"
Nagito seem to be actually interested in Monokuma's speech
How can he listen so carefully to someone so annoying
Softly I peeked him into his arm which was covered with a green jacket
"Mh?"
He turned his head back to me
"Are you enjoying this?"
I asked bewildered
"Yes is that strange? You all seem to be bored by his speech but what if he says something important or useful. You will never know when you need the words of a black withe teddy bear"
Slitly I smiled because of his joke. The white haired looked back to Monokuma. He wasn't wrong with what he was saying but I really didn't have any motivation to listen to an stuffed animal which came of like a jerk
"Will you listen for me as well?"
I asked while pouting a bit
"Of course I will"
He said while I was joking around with the question. Not even nearly I thought he would say yes. A bit surprised I kept looking at him Those small curles are really adorable

It felt more like torture listing to the stuffed animal which was the reason I zoned out a little bit. But my head felt empty as soon as I had been waken up from my daydreaming by a taller hand cover one of my hands which was still laying on my knees
"Come on"
Nagito sounds a bit like he was in hurry, but I was happy to not hear Monokuma's voice anymore. Finally he shouted up
"But where do you want to go?"
"We are going to discover it bevor"
He just didn't finished the sentence and left me with even more questions then I already had. Softly he pulled my hand so that I had to stand up
"Wait what are we going to discover and bevor what?"
"It's this obviously?"
The counter question sounds like he thought I already knew the answer
"Obviously it isn't"
His pale hand grabbed softly at my shoulder and pulled me closer to his chest. I blushed a bit while he seem to be in extage
"We are going to discover the island bevor it will be flooded by blood causes through all this despair which is haunting this atmosphere and every soul in here which will led us to the great final where all the great hope will be unleashed and the world can live in peace again just waiting for more despair which will cause more hope. And this circulation will go on and on and on"

His emerald green eyes were covered by a gleam. A dangerous and happy at the same time one
"Okay..."
I never had said a word so long and so awkward. Slowly I understood why he was alone earlier
(Y/n) are you sure you want to stay with this guy? You still can let go of him. Just slowly take some steps back and then-
"Sorry I didn't meant to scare you"
This calming voices suited him much better. He still hold me close while I was still blushing
"I just wanted to say let's have us a great day on the island"
"Yes"
May I should rethink my actions later on

He tilted his head a bit and looked at me before he was turning around still holding my hand. We left the group hall while the strange feeling of someone watching us and that something terrible will happened established me and haunted me which caused a cold shiver running down my spin. Felt like something cold hold my soul