I wear converse ~Niall Horan fanfic~ [on hold]

Prologue

Everybody stands out, whether it's the face that they aren't as skinny as other people, have brighter eyes or darker hair, they all have a way to stand out.

When people look at me they think, what's different? why does she cry at night? why is she so insecure? why does she think she isn't good enough?

They think that there's nothing wrong with me and that I'm seeking attention when I say I'm not pretty. But what they don't understand is that I see my self under the make-up. I see my stomach when I'm in just a bra, they don't see my cheeks when they are stained with tears, they can't see past the clothes and make-up, all they ever see is the me I put up on display, the laughing girl with all her friends who she can be so happy and cheerful with.

But they don't see the girl with the tear stained cheeks. They don't see the girl with no make-up, they don't see the girl who is too afraid to put herself out there because she is going to get hurt.

I lose friends because I never point out the good things about myself, it's always my flaws, it's only because I see them, every day, I just cover them so others can't see them.

I am smart. but not in the way it counts.

I read people better than books, but I never have enough words to explain my findings

I'm only as funny as I feel.

And I do not think I'm pretty.

I sometimes walk with my head down.

My posture is terrible.

I think horrible things about people and let my emotions get the best of me.

I'm really not as nice as I'd like to be, or as innocent as you'd think I am.

I am a perfectionist.

I am a contradiction to everything I'd like to stand for.

I'm a big dreamer with little motivation.

I am really no good at all on my own.

But I am analytical with myself.

And I don't understand how anyone could ever be cocky or proud when they think about all the disgusting things that they think they do, but no one knows.

We're all broken enough to be humble, but not every one chooses to be.

I always tell my friends to stop thinking they aren't pretty, I tell everyone I can that they are beautiful.

Only because I don't want them to end up like me and take every compliment and look at it as a way of people having to find one thing to say is good, when I know they see all my flaws, but they don't see my insecurity

I'm a dancer, but a tom-boy, when people look at me they would expect me to hate the thought of dancing but that's what gets me by, I'm not into hip-hop because I can't move my body that way, I'm not a tap dancer because my feet don't move that way, I'm not a Jazz dancer because my body can't take the dramatic dance moves, no I'm none of those sorts of things you would expect.

I'm a ballerina.

And I wear converse