Beyond captivating

Chapter 2

Silvia:

I woke up as a low moan escaped my sore chest... I sat straight in great deal of discomfort.
Lord!
a pain painfully pierced in between my privates.
For a minute there was confusion in my gaze.
I cast at myself, then understanding, as I recalled where I was and what had happened...
My heart beat escalated dramatically at the light coming into the room I realise it was new year already...
"Oh lord!"
I widened my eyes at the blood stained on my cloth...
I was blinking furiously now at the understanding...

"No it can't be!"

my brains couldn't comprehend anymore... I clenched my teeth hard not to call to attention with my tears...
The room was empty which gave the realisation that Nate was gone
A small sound of terror escaped in me as I helplessly called to him...

"It hurt so much, it hurt "

I beat my hands on my chest and cried out..
'It hurt. God!'

"What have I done to Nate? What have I done? All I ever did was love him.

"All I ever did was love him for Christ sake..."
Memory of last night came with a pang...
And all over again I reduced myself to tears...
The world of fantasies I lived in had frantically cascaded itself and I knew right at the moment everything is over...
The beautiful resonance in the name of love all left me during the most disastrous moment of my life...
What about those sweet dreams of making love with the man I thought I would spend the rest of my life with...

The dream of making love in Paris...
Perhaps a memory of tragedy had come crawling its way into my life.
All in no other day but the very beginning of a new year.
I wasn't sure I wanted to imagine how many of them must have brutally raped me...
Nate was a monster in disguise... All men are...
I bit my lips hard to hold my scream... This grogginess and pains was my own now...mine only...
Who else's but mine, not those men, but mine ..
"Oh lord!"

I squeezed my eyes closed in an attempt to starve off the ongoing mounting panic...
But I couldn't even hear myself think, the world had played a cruel joke on me, love had played a joke on me...
My life was now a disaster, a ruined one...
Nate left me, he betrayed my love and trust ..
Why God? I hold on to the rapid bang in my chest and squeezed my skin so hard..
What have I done? Thought you loved me Nathan, thought you love me...

I couldn't help but cry out this time...
Heaven bind me the power to hold on to this ruin. I wasn't sure I wanted to continue living with this...
It hurt so much.
With more sniffing cry, I realised I was drinking my tears like wine.
But does it matter,
My legs hurt like hell...

In slow motion I made my way into the bath room and ran some warm water adding a cupful of Savlon into it.

"Nate brought me here to destroy me."
I pulled off my messed up cloth and lowered myself into the tub...
In spite of the warmth I found myself shivering so hard...
I spent another hour crying and screaming at the world...
I was in fact blaming God.
Men shouldn't be part of Human race. How heartless they could be.

Two weeks to my wedding and they did this to me. Including the man I thought I love... What kind of ill luck is this...?

What have I done to God for him to write me such bad fate...?
I'm just an innocent girl who fights kung fu ever since I was a kid.

All I ever do was kung fu damn it.

Having Nathan in my life was a whole kinda new feeling I cherished...
A feeling I hold on to, a feeling I intended to carry on...
But what did I get...
Absolutely nothing...!
My dad was in fact really right...
An illustrious warrior is one who stands fearless and fight to the last breath...
This shouldn't take me down, they raped me , but it shouldn't take me down... I reached for the towel as I sniffles more tears...
My heart hurt so much...
I made my way into the room as my sight catches a paper on the floor...
With tears, I picked it up and glanced through it...
It was Nathan's hand writing ...

'Hi Silvia!
I know you really hate me now
You must have pictured me as a monster... God!
Yes I am indeed a monster...
A monster who left you and I really hate myself for it...
But believe me,
what happened wasn't intentional... It wasn't intentionally done at all!
I had issues with these rich guys...
I never knew how they find out my girl friend was a virgin... I swear I never told anyone...
They threatened to free me if I allow them take your virginity...
All they wanted was you Silvia... Just you.
I was going crazy and helpless.
They threatened me with so many
stuff still I refused...
But when they offered me fifty Million ... I found myself accepting the offer,
I knew it believe me, I knew you were gonna beat them all if I let you know...
but still I let some damn cash come first before you... And I regretted it. I regretted everything when I realised how happy you were last night...
But there was no turning back...
I already accepted the cash. If only I could rewind time...
I'm so sorry you lost your virginity...
I would have loved to be the guy to take that. I wanted you as my wife believe me... If not why would I have kept you?
But just know it was only one person who raped you, just one okay...
I'm sorry...
I already transfered five million to your account.
Please take care of your self...
I will always love you no matter what...
Nate...'

I was shocked as I dropped the letter with shaky hands I staggered towards the bed, my heart was pounding as different kind of horror flashed around me...

"No! No! it can't be...!"

Tears were falling, falling miserably like snow...
My teeth were hammering against each other...
With blurry vision I slide on the floor...
I cried out my heart, this pain was too much.
It was too much for me to take...
I coughed so hard, I've never felt this scared in my life.
I gasped as I slowly called for help. I realise I couldn't breath anymore.
Was I dying...?
Is this how it feels if someone Is about to die...
"Help" I called out slowly

"Help me please",
Somebody help...
In the next second I fell flat on the floor and I knew at that moment the world is nothing but a mere dark smoke...
*******

Hmmmmmmm 😔😔

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