Hear My Heart Beat

VII

We were at the Amethyst Cove Club, where Liam, Fin, and my father were playing golf. I waited at the dining hall with Mother and Yaffa.

Yaffa looked troubled. "What's wrong, Yaffa?" I asked her in concern.

"I'm just worried about you and the baby."

"We're both okay. We already had our check up," I told her soothingly.

"But still," she insisted, then looked at Mother. "Diana, we should tell her. For the baby."

"Tell me what?" I asked.

Mother paled and shook her head firmly without a word. I turned to Yaffa.

"This is not just your grandchild at risk, Diana. It's mine too." Yaffa stared at Mother, quiet challenge in her eyes. Mother sighed in defeat and nodded.

"Helena, you have to tell your doctor as soon as possible. I don't know how long this drug stays in your body, and what its effects are on a newly conceived baby..."

She handed me a piece of paper with her elegant writing on it. It spelled the name of a drug I had not heard of before.

"What is this?" I asked.

"We just found out, Darling. Your father slipped this into your drink, the night you came to see him after Diana said he was sick. He did it to Liam's drink as well."

I thought back to that night so long ago, and remembered the sweet tea Daddy offered me and Liam. I didn't notice anything off when I tasted it though.

"What does it do?" I asked, trepidation mounting inside me.

Yaffa blushed. She tried to speak several times but failed. Mother raised an elegant hand in front of Yaffa's face and breathed in deeply. "It's a very strong aphrodisiac, Helena."

My heart twisted in my chest. Even the knowledge that my actions did not cause this accident could not dispel the pain of betrayal that threatened to consume me.

"Your father was not the only one to blame," Mother said quietly.

Yaffa bowed her head guiltily. "Your parents, Fin, and I... We had always hoped you and Liam would find your way back to each other. But eleven years later it still had not happened, so we decided to give you a little nudge..."

"Nudge?" I repeated, near hysterics.

"We only planned to get you to meet again. To throw you in each other's path. To invite you to the same parties. I was confident that when you saw each other again, the sparks would fly, just like before, and you would realize you were meant for each other." Yaffa explained almost pleadingly.

I tried to slow my breathing, which was coming in quick, short gasps.

"But your father was too impatient to wait. He acquired a copy of your medical records and found out you might have trouble conceiving. He said you were running out of time. And so he did this behind our backs. We only found out recently, when his nurse confessed before he quit."

I pushed my chair back angrily, not caring that it scraped noisily on the marble floor and that everyone in the room stared in our direction. I was beyond caring about anything at that moment.

I ran out of the dining room, my eyes blurred with tears. I didn't know where I was headed, only that I had to get away from there, fast. I encountered a dead end, a wall of mosaics that enclosed the property. I sagged to the mossy ground and let out the sobs I was holding in.

I was so stupid. I thought I had risen above my circumstances. I thought I had successfully defied them all. But I was only fooling myself. In the end, they had still won.