Responsibilities Forgotten

Chapter 1

Tears pooled my eyes as I straightened my headscarf, but I quickly rubbed them away. This was my decision, I had worked hard to get what I want, and I was not going to back out now.
"Did you take every single thing you needed to?" Mum asked, for the hundredth time. I replied with a bored look, and told her that I had checked my bags just before loading them into the car boot.
"Adi! Am I late? Are you leaving already?"
"Aqila, when are you not late?" I smirked at my best friend, "Don't worry, we're yet here so you are just in time. Come before my mum goes crazy."
A flashback of the day I informed Aqila of my decision popped into my mind.
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I was scared out of my wits. It took me quite a while to pick up the phone and call my best friend to tell her about what I was going to do. I did not want to lose such a great friend, who was more like a sister, to such a silly reason, but it had to be done.
Aqila picked up on the first ring, "Spill, oh and Adu I am staying over tomorrow."
"Okay, but I need to talk to you about something super serious. There are some rules-"
"Oh for the love of God! No rules!" she whined.
"Rule number one: NO interrupting, rule number two: NO making hasty decisions and rule number three: NO crying."
"This sounds really sad. Is it about some new romance you read?"
"No, it's about my life. I have chosen to go to boarding school. I don't want to study in our stupid school. You know I want to be a writer and Apalobe offers everything I want. Look, please-"
"Why boarding school Adiba? Please give reasons to support your answer." Trust Aqila, a nerd like me, to ask questions taken from an exam paper.
"Reasons why I want to go: (a)I want to be a writer- and Apalobe has a special department for that, (b)I hate our school,(c)I don't want to live with my insane family anymore and (d)Our teachers drive me mad."
"Now why not boarding school? Again I want reasons." Her voice was now sounding hurt.
"Reasons why I don't want to go: (a)You, (b)Islamic school and (c)All my other crazy friends. See, reasons why I want to go overpowers."
"Okay, I have to go. My mum's calling. Bye, see you tomorrow."
"Okay. Bye, see you."
Aqila did not speak to me properly for a week after that, but came around eventually because she could not resist ranting about her mother to me. Weird reason, I know, but that is how our friendship was, unable to be understood by anybody.
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A truckload of thoughts tumbled into my mind. I was going to boarding school, boarding school. What if I did not enjoy myself? What if I made the wrong decision? What if he found out that I was back in England? He was, after all, the reason my parents had to pack their bags and leave their home in England and bring me up in India. It was a very cowardly way of dealing with the situation but the fear would have never left if we had not moved away. Now, I was ready to face my fears, my parent's fears and trust Allah, my Lord.
Apalobe, the boarding school I was going to, was an English school located in Lancaster, England for girls. It was the kind of school that almost every girl dreams of going to, a true Victorian school, built in a castle and the best in the country. I was grateful to be able to experience it.
My phone rang, breaking my chain of thoughts. I chose to ignore it, but my mother being my mother reprimanded me for doing so.
"Adiba, this is your last day here! People will obviously call you to say goodbye, and this is how you reply? By ignoring them? Is this what you will do to your dad and me when you start living in boarding school? I am tired of your attitude problems, Adiba, I really am. When do you plan on changing? Who knew that Adiba, Miss Goody-Two-Shoes, is actually the snobbiest girl around? Get rid of that fake facade and show the world who you really are. I don't even know why I waste my time on you, nothing seems to affect you anyway."
That was my mother. Unable to be nice to me even when I was moving away. I sighed and called my Islamic School teacher, Sister Sarah, back.
"Salaam Sister Sarah, you called?"
"Wassalaam, yes Adiba, I did. I called to say goodbye. Adiba, you are going away, I know your parents would have considered everything before agreeing, but just don't forget your religion. I know you will remember almost everything I have taught you here, but please don't forget the basics. Pray, on time. Read the Qur'an at least once in two days, even if it is Surah Yusuf, and also go on reading other Islamic books you love to read. Stay on the Right Path and Allah will help you. Always remember, after hardship comes ease. And have a safe flight." She said in Urdu.
I could not stop the tears that flowed this time. Could this woman be even greater? It was as if she was sent to me by Allah to help me stay on the Right Path. She helped me when I was going through the worst situations of my life, my parent's divorce, my non-existent belief in Islam because of which I stopped praying, my constant fights with mum and everything else. The first thing she told me to do was pray. I'm glad I listened to her, or I would not be where I am today.
Time is a very fascinating thing. Sometimes, I feel, it teaches me to move on and pay no heed to the obstacles surrounding me. Other times, like this, it annoys me. When I want that one moment to never end, when I need more time to do something and today, when I never want to say goodbye to my best friend. It was a heartbreakingly painful thing, to say goodbye to Aqila. All those tears that were shed made me question my decision for the millionth time. But I knew. I knew I had to do this, even if it was the last thing I'd do for myself, I'd do it. It was selfish of me, to one fine day decide that I wanted to leave, but sometimes you have to be selfish.
The fuel that I needed for going on was poured into me. I was sure of myself, and I was going to do this whatever the consequences may be.
"Adiba, I'm so sorry for crying, but it's just that I'm so used to you being around all the time that I cannot imagine how it is going to be without you. I had always assumed that we would do everything together, that this seemed like a betrayal to me for a while. But you know what? I believe you in you. If you have made this decision, I know you have thought about everyone and everything. So go live your dream Adiba, and do enjoy in doing so. See you in a few months," Aqila said to me as I was getting off the car.
She left me speechless. I had so much to say to her, but at the same time, I had absolutely nothing. I took a deep breath to force my tears back down and enveloped her into a tight embrace. Then I left her and walked into the airport. Without a word, without glancing back at her, I walked away.
And I felt cruel for doing so.
Aqila probably despised me, but I could not be sure. I didn't even look back to see her expression, or to see if she was waving at me. With these thoughts in my mind, I buckled my seatbelt again, pushed back my airplane seat and fell into a deep slumber.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, the captain has switched on the fasten seat belt sign. We are now crossing a zone of turbulence. Please return to your seats and keep your seat belts fastened. Thank you," the announcement flowed across the flight and awoke me from my sleep. 5 hours and 23 minutes until I reached London Heathrow, I had enough time to watch a film and sleep some more.
"Oh Adiba! How much can you sleep? You slept in late this morning and then fell asleep as soon as the flight took off. Anyway, they already served a snack but I asked them for an extra pack of crisps for you. Here," mum said, handing me a pack of lightly salted crisps.
Mum, unlike others, was very excited about me going to boarding school. She had always dreamed of living in a different country, all by herself when she was young but her parents were completely against the idea of her living far away without any family. She was glad that I was fulfilling her dream as well.