Ballet boy *ON HOLD*

4 - Ballet and bad dreams

My fingers danced nervously over the box I held in my hands. I pushed my shoulder lightly against the bathroom door, making sure it was firmly closed. Satisfied, I focused my attention back onto the parcel in front of me. Bobbi’s confident words echoed in my head.

“If this doesn’t make your parents sit up and take notice, I don’t know what will!”

The instructions were mind-numbingly simple, but my heart still thudded heavily in my chest as I carried out the procedure. It felt like I was stripping my old identity, becoming someone, something, new. Doubts buzzed in my head, wasps crowding round some lemonade.

Finally, I was done. Bare feet shuffling, I walked to the mirror, half expecting it to break in disbelief. What I saw made me drop the comb I was clutching into the sink. Around my pale face, there was a vibrant red halo – my hair. It surrounded my hollow cheeks like it was trying to inject life back into them; it made my dull jade eyes sparkle with mischief. Bobbi was right: if this didn’t catch my parents’ attention, then I was doomed forever.

I held the banister tightly as I descended down the stairs. Mum and dad were helping Rachel with something ballet related. Their three identical, mousey brown mops of hair were bent in concentration. Deep inside, I felt out of place just by looking at them.

“Mum, dad, look at my new hair!”

They both looked up for a split second. I saw something stir in my mother’s eyes, and I hoped silently for a reaction, something, just anything…

Then she looked back down again. Dad made a lukewarm comment about how ‘lovely’ it was, but the damage was already done. I was a disappointment. My own mother acted like I wasn’t even there half of the time.

A tingling sensation started in my toes. Looking down, I saw my own legs begin to fade away and merge into the background, then my torso and my arms. Before long, I was nothing.

I ran to mum and dad and waved my hands frantically in front of them. Nothing

I sat down and screamed desperately, making my throat feel red-raw. I was nothing.

*.*.*

“Marnie? Wake up!”

I sat bolt upright, breathing heavily and feeling a sheen of sticky sweat cling to my forehead. You are not invisible, you are not invisible, I repeated in my head, the words becoming a calming mantra. As my eyes adjusted to the harshness of the bedroom light, I realised the whole family had crowded into the room I shared with Rachel. Varying stages of tiredness were displayed on their faces; in fact, Bliss was the only one who seemed wide awake and was bounding around the room.

“I thought you were being murdered,” Aiden breathed, sounding traumatised. Rowan nodded gravely in agreement.

Mum’s face, however, had crumpled into its signature frown. “Tomorrow’s Saturday and you know how busy it is for everyone,” she said, a slight accusing tone in her voice. From the other end of the room, Rachel made an approving noise in her throat, the expression on her face almost identical to mum’s. Of course, no one could look as judgmental as my mother.

Looking from one grimace to the other, a sense of foreboding began to settle in my stomach. Mum and Rachel were playing the blame game, and all liability rested heavily on my weary shoulders.

“Go to sleep Marnie,” Mum grumbled, tucking the duvet around my figure so tightly, I felt as though she had me locked in a cage. One by one, my various family members began to file out of the room, but not before Bliss had the decency to sneak me a lollipop from her stash.

“This will make you feel better, ok?” Bliss assured me, placing the treat on my bedside table. She grinned, and then skipped out of the room, making the fond half smile on my face disappear altogether.

Rachel shot me a dirty look, her lip curling in contempt. “You heard mum, go to sleep,” she spat, grabbing her phone from the table. I imagined the texts she would send to her friends: my sister’s so crazy she screams in her sleep cant believe were related lol!1!!1!!

*.*.*

“Now, into fifth position!” The ballet teacher hollered his instructions over the loud chattering of the class. Almost immediately, the little boys and girls got into the correct position, arms held high above their heads and legs straightened gracefully. The teacher strode around the class, while his pupils stayed as still as sculptures.

As he passed Bliss, I saw my little sister start to sway slightly. She had never been particularly good at staying still for long. Unfortunately, the teacher noticed this too. “Bliss dear, STAY STILL,” he told her.

After he had moved, Bliss stuck out her tongue in his direction, making most of the children (and me) chortle elatedly.

“I saw that, Miss Collins!”

Busted! I mouthed at Bliss, who in turn stuck out her pointy pink tongue at me. Cheeky rascal, I thought to myself.

*.*.*

Waiting for Bliss to change took centuries, so today, instead of consuming a book, I decided to explore. The ballet academy seemed like a labyrinth to be; countless random twists and turns. Many ballet lessons were in progress, and I took the privilege to look in on some of them. All the dancers I saw were good, but none of them moved with the same poise and flair as Finn.

Eventually, I stumbled across the room my mother was teaching in, hearing her firm voice before I saw her. “5, 6, 7, 8! Stay in TIME!” she yelled over the sugary sound of swirling violins.

Peering into the room, I saw three boys and three girls, who all looked around my age. They were all paired together, and were attempting to execute a tricky ballroom dance. Watching closely, I realised the dance seemed strangely familiar, almost as if I had done it before. Then it hit me…

This was the dance we did at the park. Finn and I.

As if on cue, one of the girls moved around her dance partner, and I saw him, face screwed up in concentration. Before I could stop myself, I lifted up a hand and waved it frenziedly, trying to catch his attention. Luckily, he glanced up at that moment; upon seeing me, a cheeky smile covered his face and he winked.

“Mr Rider, PAY ATTENTION!” Swiftly, I scurried away from the door when I heard mum’s footsteps approaching the place where I stood.

“Marnie? What are you doing here?” My eyes widened as I saw Rachel walking towards me from the other end of the hall, a pink canvas bag balanced on her shoulder precariously.

“Why are you all red?” She enquired, eyes narrowed. Quickly, I pressed a hand to my face. She was right: my cheeks were burning and I must have looked like I had just been pelted with tomatoes.

Rachel tapped her foot petulantly, obviously waiting for an answer. “Uh, I was just looking for the toilet,” I defended myself shakily.

“The toilets are on the other side of the building. And Bliss is looking for you, so hurry up.”

My quick thinking (but unimaginative) lying seemed to have removed the culpability and distrust from my head. Exchanging a brief goodbye with Rachel, I zipped down the corridor in the vague direction of the changing rooms. At last I found Bliss outside perched on a bench, babbling away to herself. She seemed oblivious to the fact that it had started to rain.

“There you are Marnie! I thought you’d got lost in a book again,” Bliss declared when she saw me advancing. “That’s very dangerous you know,” she added seriously.

For her sake, I swallowed a laugh that was beginning to rise in my throat, and helped her up from the uncomfortable seat. “Let’s go home, munchkin.”

*.*.*

A/N

From thia chapter, you can probably tell that I don't know that much about ballet. But it's alright, because neither does Marnie :)

The picture is how I would imagine Marnie to look like

♥Merry Christmas♥