- eremika oneshots.

regrets. [em]

— love feels like sorrow,
sounds like sadness,
and tastes like regret.

(( ✉️ ))

/ modern au. /

Drip, drip, drop.

Small bands and spots of water drizzle from the heavens, globs of liquid smacking onto the earth. Eren eyes the sky nervously, the clouds that were once wispy and white earlier morning had turned dark and dense. He heaves an annoyed sigh, ruffling his hazel locks in frustration.

It had been an overcast since he'd left work minutes ago, and now here he was— met by heavy downpour without an umbrella. Thankfully, amidst of being caught in a disagreeable situation— he had found a vacant bus stand. By then, the brunette decided that he'd take a bus ride back to his apartment.

He passes a hand through his face, peeking at the wedges in-between his fingers. It was around late afternoon, and weary faces become unclear to see— he was so exhausted. The sky awash with various shades of grey, and the air was humid— smelt of a storm. Unlike any other day, there is no blue sky. Only a rough, woollen blanket of mottled grey covering the blue and white hues.

At a desirable pace, Eren shifts on the left-side of the metal bench— nudging his versatile work bag near his leg. His back bends, elbows shooting onto his lap— clasping his hands whilst his chin settles against his knuckles. After disappointingly missing the first bus, he had about 30 minutes to spend waiting for the next occuring one. 30 minutes of sitting in silence, while the air begins to feel crisp.

For an instant, he ponders— his enervated viridescents scattering around to examine the puddles on the ground. The raindrops create patterns of ripples across the surface, having the brunette entranced for a brief moment. Rain. Conjuring sweet patterns against the skin, steady and soft falling from the sky.

Sweet, steady, and soft.

Eren emits a long, deep audible breath— gulping. There's this— ache in his chest, that comes and goes; always returning in quiet moments like this. His nostrils engulf a delicate hint of vanilla in the air, and his brain is suddenly flooded with images— or rather memories.

A girl, ethically partial of asian— as he remembers. Pale petal skin, onyx eyes, and has raven hair— cut chin length with fringes. She was stoic, and vaguely level-headed. A soft chuckle slips past his lips— remembering how remarkably strong she was. Regarding that, 12-16 year old Eren slightly despised her because of that.

It'd been about a good 5 years after all. An agonizing 5 years, after moving away from his hometown— miles away, leaving everything, and everyone behind. He was only 16 back then, an idiot—  a rascal with a big mouth— a rascal who always got into arguments and fights with everyone. Now, he was 21– still an idiot, still a rascal,  though no one around to bicker with.

So much time had passed then, and all he had left were fleeting memories of his past— and about her. Eren tips his wrist, glancing at his watch— he still has about 23 minutes left. He scowls, an ill-concealed counterfeit yawn skidding from his mouth.

Deep inside, he regrets everything. He regrets carelessly agreeing to move to a bigger city— living with his grandparents and older step-brother. In the moment, a flash of anger overcomes him— but it was no use, there's no turning back. Regret washes over him, from time to time. Like the slow waves on a shallow beach, each wave was icy and sent shivers down his spine.

The remorse would eat him up, every single day. But what he regrets the most, was leaving her. He remembers, how she pleaded him to stay. He remembers seeing her cry for the first time— and at that moment, he knew he chose the wrong choice. He was only 16, mind you that— he was ignorant to her and her feelings. He was ignorant, because he was scared of his own feelings.

Times have changed, but he still drowns in the memories of her. Some call it bewitched, but now, he— he calls it falling in love. There was an emptiness in him before, but now that he thinks further about it— she gave him the liberty in being caught in that spell.

She always took care of him, defended him— risked herself at times for him. Back then, he would often notice the tinges of pink on her cheeks, her efforts to start conversations with him— but brushed it off. More importantly, she looked at him like there was something worth looking at.

Her love felt whole, and now he feels as if he's missing the other half of himself. Her touch carried such passion, that it scarred him to become soft. Now he realizes, after such time— that he'd fallen for her this whole entire instant.

He wants to go back, and stay permanently— to stay by her side and engage in more memories. To meet his old friends, and act like brainless 10 year olds— skipping along down the street of their neighbourhood. But there's something stopping him that he can't quite pin-point.

Maybe it was fear? Fear that she was exasperated of him? That she hated him? Or— or maybe it was his own fear— His own fear of seeing her again, after all these years. After leaving her in a mess of gut wrenching sobs.

Sooner or later, he would forget the sound of her voice— and the warm touch of her skin. Once again, his chest aches— and once again, he thinks about what he had lost. For a brief moment, Eren squeezes his eyes shut.

Perhaps one day, they could meet again. Maybe in another world, or in another moment. Without any aversion, without any worry, without any tears— only love. He'll hold her long enough, and for a change— it won't be a dream. They would meet again, learn how to fall in-love, and share a life time together.

One day surely— he'll go back for her. At least for now, they were under the same sky.

—