Mitchell harper-a secret crush (also oneshots)

Part 8-the american

Alissas pov-
Alfie had given us all homemade helmets for class wars version of the battle of Dunkirk. After everyone was ready, he shouted "lock and load bitches...ITS CLASS WARS!" We all cheered as he told mitchell and rem dogg to go outside to be the advancing German army. "Right", Alf said, "it's the 27th of may 1940, thousands of British troops have been stranded on the beaches of Dunkirk." Chantelle chimed in "french beach! Is it one of those topless ones?" Me and Chantelle started to unbutton our shirts as Alfie said "no, girls, keep your clothes on, and prepare for battle!" We all went insane with the buzz that class wars give us, and just as I was in a sword fight with Stephen and Chantelle using rulers, a American guy came in and optimistically said "hey gang, I'm mr shwimer." Alfie looked at him confused "er... where did you come from?" My shwimer looked at him "all the way from Harvard university sunshine state of California, reporting for duty sir!" Me and jing looked at each other. Wait, isn't Harvard in massechusettes? Mr shwimer said "I love British humor", he put on the worst British accent I've ever heard and said "corgies with me majesty me lord? Please, can I have another crumpet?" I face palmed and looked around to see the rest of the class just as confused as I was. Alfie looked at me shwimer and said "oi, dick van dyke, what the hell are you doing here? This is my class!" Mr shwimer looked confused "didn't miss pickwell tell you? I'm here to take over form k." I looked around and then back at Alfie who looked horrified, "you can't take my class," he said "I'm like a god to them!" At that exact moment, Mitchell came in and said something in fake German and threw a bucket of water over Alfie, he then looked around confused and said "what? Dunkirk was at sea!" We all sat down and packed away our class wars stuff as Fraser came on the tannoy "welcome to radio Frase, the chat quota of LBC with a host who was loved as a child", me and the rest of the class giggled as he carried on "Avengers, assembly. Last one there gets a detention, unless it's rem dogg!" We all looked at each other thinking the announcement was over but Fraser carried on talking "first announcement on the new tannoy, check. Felt weird without any trousers on note to self, fake tan and white slacks don't mix... the tannoy is still on. Just to clarify I am wearing underpants."
We sat in assembly waiting for Fraser to talk to us and my shirt button kept on opening. Mitchell noticed my embarrassment and let me borrow his hoodie to cover my chest. Mitchell grabbed my hairbrush and started brushing my hair, "how did you get so good at this?" I asked as I enjoyed having my hair brushed "I don't know ali, just running a brush through hair enit?" Fraser started to speak "hello, wilkommen and awooga!" I rolled my eyes as he continued "item one, the schools got a few new furry friends and I'm not talking about the pair of puppies both Alissa wickers and Erica tinkler have recently acquired, woof woof." He then carried on to talk about how it was normal for our bodies to change but I zoned out and just started messing about on my phone. I turned my phone off when mr shwimer started talking "so, a little bit about me, I just got back from Malawi in Africa where I was helping victims of a savage civil war but I am sure as heck pretty darn excited to be here in Watford United Kingdom!" Everyone clapped except me and jing, I sensed something was off and I wouldn't let him get away with it. Mr shwimer carried on talking "ok, I am going to be teaching history, and helping out with gym class, I guess you guys are wondering what qualifies this guy to teach gym? Well I did make a brief appearance at the Olympics, here in London, England on team USA! I won gold with the coxless four". I'm a huge fan of the olympics and I'm pretty sure the coxless four got bronze. I realised I needed to keep my interest on mr shwimer so Alfie could keep his job. I became invested with mr shwimer as he carried on "now I wanna give you guys a taste of the good old us of a, but I will leave the school food to you. I'm not saying my kids back home are chunky or anything but I could catch them skipping class on google earth." I couldn't help but to laugh at him but stopped when Alfie said "you know why they keep their kids so big, bigger targets. High school massacres?" Mr shwimer came to alfs aid and said "come on he's yanking your chain, throw him in the bloody tower with saint Arthur of the round lake!" We left assembly and went back to class where we started to learn more about mr shwimer and his life. Like the time he did a save the rhinos marathon in New York and when he visited an orphanage in India and took books and new clothes to the orphans. In the middle of the story, alfie ran in and said "Nicola Berti's been stabbed!" I looked up in shock and mr shwimer said "I know first aid", Alf showed him out of the door "quick she's bleeding out by the school gates!" I clasped my hand to my mouth while Alfie calmly turned the lights back on, Chantelle looked at him "is Nicola gonna die?" Alfie laughed slightly "no that was just something I said to get rid of Kevin of Nazareth", I threw my head back at the stupidity of my brother. Alf looked at us and said "I've considered every possible option for me to keep you guys and I need one of you to say that Kevin touched you."  I looked at mitchell "my brother is such a dick", I whispered as Mitchell wrapped his arm around my shoulder. "Hate to break it to you big bro but we sorta prefer mr shwimer, I mean he's really funny." Alfie sighed and looked up at me, "he's even turned my own sister against me! What can I do to get you guys back?" Chantelle looked up from her nails "cut and run, take me to France, sir. Overnight ferry, shack up in Bordeaux and let the manhunt begin. Come and get us, Interpol." I looked at her, she had obviously put too much thought into this! Mitchell raised his hand "I have a plan to get rid of him sir. We need cable ties, a van and an alibi!" I laughed slightly as Alf said "Mitchell, we're not re-enacting your parents honeymoon!" I had an idea come into my head "yo Alf, let's keep the cable tie idea, tie him up to a fence while it's pitch black and torture him until he agrees to quit!" Alfie looked at me "ali, what you and Mitchell get up to in your own time isn't any of our business so keep it to yourselves", I flicked my middle finger up at him. I saw Alfie's expression change "he's such a dick, I mean what did he even teach you?" Jing looked up from her book "he taught us all the English kings and queens." "All of them" Alfie exclaimed "that's impossible!" We looked at each other while Stephen shouted out "5,6,7,8!" And we burst into the song mr shwimer had taught us.
"willie, Willie, Harry, stee, Harry, dick, John, Harry three, one, two, three neds, Richard two, Harry's four five six then who? Edwards four five, dick the bad, Harry's seven eight, Ned the lad, Mary, Bessie, James the vain, Charlie, Charlie, James again, William, Mary, Anna, gloria, four George's, William, Victoria, Edward seven next, and then George the fifth in 1910, Ned the eight soon abdicated, then George the sixth was coronated, and if you've not lost your breath, give a cheer for Elizabeth!" We all cheered at the end, I couldn't help but think wasn't it Anna-Gloria, not Anna and Gloria? Alfie looked unimpressed "meh, when would you actually use that? I teach you transferable life skills, what about the fresh prince of bel air rap?" We all objected to Alfie rapping as it's so embarrassing, not just for me. Alfie then went on to talk about how a group of year 7s in form 2-J had forced him to give a glue stick a blowjob. Me, Mitchell and rem dogg couldn't help but to laugh at this and Chantelle said "why don't you seduce miss pickwell? Flirt your way out of it, practice on me if you want." I was still in stitches while I shouted "he practices flirting enough on the old body pillow on his bed, babes!" This made the whole class erupt in laughter and Alfie to blush slightly and text me.
Dick-how do you know
Me-you ain't exactly quiet bro
Me-at least me and Mitchell are quiet
Dick-one wrong move the whole class sees this
Me-fuck you
Dick-I'll show them
Me-fucking fine what r ur terms
Dick-dads back tonight so you and Mitchell cook for us
Me-fucking hell fine
I looked at mitchell and showed him the messages "fucking hell ali", he whispered "I must really love you for agreeing to this!" Alfie looked at me "ali, you got any hairspray on you?" I rolled my eyes and threw him my bottle of hairspray and a comb. Alf ran out of the room looking like he had a good plan up his sleeve. I walked over to jing "hey jing, can I steal a moment of your time?" She looked at me "what is is?" I pulled her to the storage closet in the back of the room and whispered "there's something off about mr shwimer", she put up her hand to cut me off "I knew it, Harvard's in Massachusetts and the picture of the coxless four, he wasn't in it!" I knew then that the coxless four had won bronze, "jing, the coxless four won bronze not gold!" She looked at me with a plan "we need to do something to prove me shwimer's a fake." We walked out of the cupboard to see that everyone had gone and we were the last ones inside. We walked outside and I saw mitchell run past I went to ask him where he was going but Alfie took the words out of my mouth, "Mitchell, where are you going?" Mitchell turned round, "gonna ask emo Elliott if I can borrow his skateboard, surprise me shwimer." Whilst Mitchell went to steal a kids skateboard, mr shwimer threw a American football at alf and it hit him right in the balls. Mitchell walked up to mr shwimer and said "surprise sir, do us a trick!" Me and jing looked at each other "yeah go on sir!" Mr shwimer looked at us "I can't, well, I mean, with my knees, since the marathon they've been in really bad shape." Mitchell was still fooled by mr shwimers lies and said "don't be a pussy sir!" I took the opportunity "yeah sir, I broke my leg a year back and 2 months later I was back on the ice!" Alfie was clearly jealous at the attention we were giving the new teacher and he said "I'll do a trick", mr shwimer patted Alf on the back and said, "yeah, mr wickers will do the trick!" Alfie hopped on the skateboard and started to roll down to the steps, I covered my eyes when I heard the loudest crash ever. "Alfie!" I screamed whilst running down the stairs and the rest of the class followed me, "you ok big bro?" He rolled over to reveal a small cut on his head and a bruise already forming on his eye. We helped him to the nurse who gave him a plaster, then me and jing watched him go into the class. We walked in to see Alfie deflating a mother Theresa doll. "Sir?" Jing looked confused while I was trying my hardest to not laugh.  "Hey jing, hey ali. Where are the others?" Jing flinched slightly as she said "mr shwimers friend from the British museum lent him some weapons and armour and their outside doing a civil war re-enactment." I looked up "Alf, we need to talk to you about something!" He didn't acknowledge me just kept on explaining the story behind all the things he was now packing into a box. "For gods sake dickwad", I was getting annoyed at him not listening, "mr shwimer isn't who he says he is!" Jing turned the lights out and turned to the slide of the marathon "look!" Alfie started to laugh "look, the jogger behind mr shwimer has a semi!" I shook my head and Alfie said "mr shwimer has a semi?" Me and jing facepalmed and said "the hand!" Alfie realised and looked up "I knew there was something wrong right from the start", jing started, "he said he went to Harvard California and Harvard's in Massachusetts!" I looked at Alfie, "and the coxless four won bronze, not gold! I remember them!"
We ran outside to confront mr shwimer, "your a liar!" I screamed, "tell them!" Alfie held me back and jing said, "it's time you confessed." Jing pulled out the iPad and started showing everyone the truth behind his lies. I felt the need to add, "and the us team won bronze not gold, and he wasn't even on the team!" Mr shwimers expression dropped, "I can't help lying, I say one thing and it all spirals and I just wanted you guys to like me", his accent changed to a thick midlands accent "I'm not even from America I'm from Birmingham, not even Birmingham, dudley, by Tipton y'know just off the A4123." Alfie picked up a gun "look at this shitty little toy gun", he pulled the trigger and I heard a gunshot and saw joe fall to the ground in agony. We rushed to him and Alfie pulled out a old tissue and put it on the wound, I pulled off my cardigan and pressed it onto the wound in attempt to stop the bleeding. I stood up and felt slightly faint because of the blood. Alfie grabbed another gun and shot it into the air as a distress signal. I heard a loud squawk and saw a ratty, dead owl fall to the ground. Realising this hadn't done anything. Alfie threw the gun onto the ground but the trigger hit the floor and I felt the worst pain ever in my leg. I looked down and saw i had been shot in the ankle, I let out a bloodcurdling scream and fell to the ground. Mitchell ran over to me and grabbed a rag out of his hoodie, he pressed it against the wound and started talking to me "if you die al, I'll fucking kill you!" I laughed slightly and Alfie ran over, "oh shit, ali, could you maybe tell dad it was another suicide attempt?" Mitchell looked at me, "another? Babe what's he on about?" I looked at him and showed him faint scars on my arms from self harm, "mitchy I'm sorry I didn't tell you". Mitchell shrugged it off, "it's fine al, I used to harm too." I looked up as miss pickwell and miss gulliver ran outside. Miss gulliver ran over to joe and miss pickwell started to cry over her dead owl. Following them was Fraser who had dropped his trousers and ripped his shirt open to reveal a superman outfit but he kept falling. I heard Chantelle say "joe and ali are heroes miss", miss gulliver looked up, not noticing me and said, "why ali?" I got Mitchell to lift my leg and said, "glad to know I'm appreciated!"
After school, we had to go down to a&e for me and joe to get our wounds checked out. "Looks like a simple gunshot there, miss wickers", I rolled my eyes as Mitchell wrapped his arm around me. The nurse carried on talking, "your going to be in a wheelchair for 3 weeks and off of any sports or chores but you can go to school." I thanked her and left, Mitchell walked with me to my house and he said, "hope you feel better al." I went inside and Alfie was sitting at the table with dad. "Alissa, long time no see!" I went over to dad and gave him a hug, "hey dad, Alfie, I'm in this thing for a week or 2 and then I'm switching to crutches, I can't have too much time off." I went to the sofa and lay down. I was told the blood loss would make me tired but I didn't believe them. I text mitchell
Me-hey Mitchy. Just text to say goodnight
Mitchell-really al it's only half 9
Me-blood loss makes you shattered
Mitchell-oh ok what did you dad say
Me-nothing he's a bit pissed with Alf but he's just letting me sleep on the sofa for a bit
Mitchell-ok gnight al ❤️
Me-night mitchy ❤️
Mitchell's pov-
I put my phone down on the side and went over to mom, "hey mom, how's it been?" She looked up, "It's sorted if that's what you mean, I got the 5 grand." I looked up in shock but didn't want to ask how she got it. I walked into my bedroom and lay on my bed, staring at the ceiling. I couldn't help but wonder if ali was ok.
——————————————————A/N-hey guys hope you enjoyed this chapter. I'm going to be skipping pickwell dying. She's still going to 'die' but I don't know how to write ali into it. Any suggestions on what to do with this please don't hesitate to tell me-raven🖤