Conversion Camp /®︎ｅｄｄｉｅ /DISCONTINUED/

Coming out

Eddie sat on the soft red couch, the used material letting him sink into it completely, enjoying the feeling of being engulfed, the feeling of being hugged by something recognizable felt good to Eddie. His knees bounced as he rapped his fingers together, pressing the knuckles of his fingers into each other, a nervous tic of his. It hurt but it made his mind drift elsewhere and that was something Eddie felt he needed, even if it was something physically painful.

Eddie waited for his mother, the tv continued to chant out a commentator voice, smelling the salty popcorn his mother made for herself and hearing the bag of zero fat popcorn she grabbed for Eddie, the bag crinkling as she opened it with her sausage sized fingers. Eddie blankly stared at the old, chipped wall next to the bright screen, the light hurting his tired eyes, his thoughts so rummaged and bouncing like crazy yet so calm and collected. He didn't know how to feel. He was conflicted. He snapped out of his thought as he felt the couch wobble, creak and relax as his mother sat down, her weight causing Eddie to lift up high on the cushion, just like a heavy and a light kid on a titter totter.

Now the nerves fully set in, hands clammy as Eddie wiped them off in his shorts leg, trying to calm himself down as his mother reached over to his to set the popcorn on his lap. Though when she reached over to set the popcorn on his lap her hand went elsewhere, and directed itself to his knee, her meaty hand was all Eddie was able to focus on. "Eddie dear, are you alright? You're not eating any of your popcorn," Sonia questioned. Instead of being able to turn her head to face Eddie she had to move her whole body, her overflowing fat on her neck like a neck brace. It took everything in Eddie not to gag, his mother had always slightly disgusted him but in that moment of stress the disgust nearly overflowed, looking over the brim of Eddie's loving facade.

Eddie should tell her, he really should. Eddie had been waiting to tell her so why not now? Just do it. You're not afraid are you? You rehearsed the lines over and over all week and now your gonna waste all that time you used for this very moment? Come on, just do it.

Eddie sighed, hoping it would lift the rock that's rested on his shoulders off, yet it only made him realize how fast his heart thumped, how it felt like his heart hung in his stomach, on a tiny little string that was tide in a pretty bow to his rib cage, how his lungs felt heavy, full of stress. But he couldn't back out now, he knows what he's going to say. He'll make it fast. Maybe Sonia will realize that Eddie is her one and only child, the one the asthma, the one who takes all her pills, the one who she has always known to be her own son for 16 years now. She should recognize all of this, right?

Eddie breathed loudly, catching Sonias attention, her grass green eyes waving with question. "Is there something wrong Eddie bear?," Sonia asked, replacing her attention back to the screen, not bothering to bat her eyes at Eddie once. She didn't even care. "I want to tell you something, momma," Eddie told, clasping his hands in his mother's, her hand rapped around his in a motherly fashion. Sonia nodded as to tell Eddie to continue, Eddie did as signed. He wavered but continued,

"Mom, I'm gay,"

That's when all hell broke loose, Sonia's hand rapped tightly around Eddie's, crescent moons made indents into his skin, like when old books are well loved and get beaten up yet have the same story to tell on the inside. Eddie whimpered as Sonia glared daggers into Eddie's eyes, as Eddie's eyes watered, everything a blurry mess. His head pounded in his ears, then he felt himself get tired. How had he gotten tired? He didn't do anything that day to become so over come with fatigue.. maybe he had cried? He does remember the surface he laid on had been warm het damp. Everything turnt black as he slept a dreamless sleep.

He couldn't remember what had happened that night. He remembers little blurry moments like his mother on the phone, then his mother packing up some clothes into a big leather suitcase, putting some of his favorite albums in with it. A book or two along with it. And then heaps of pills, some looking nieuw, ones he hadn't seen before. Maybe she was adding more to keep him away from a nieuw disease.

Before he slept all he could remember thinking was that he loved his mother. He didn't know why or how he could still love her but it was still there, that dull love that his mother had never really felt for him. Such a dull love.

||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||

Welcome to my sToryyyy, aha. SORRY ITS SO SHORT! ALSO CHECK OUT MY ONESHOTS BOOK! ALL REDDIE! :)