neon ➳ shuqi

neon

"Kiss me," she says, and it's the first time Yuqi doesn't have it in her to say no.

So when Shuhua inches closer, Yuqi follows her without thinking.

She leans in, just enough. Close enough that she doesn't burn under the heat pooling where Shuhua's hands meet her skin. Enough that can feel warm, gentle puffs of her breath against her skin.

They're close enough. And when she thinks about how easy it is to want more, she doesn't think for too long. Because that's what they'll always be. Just enough.

That's how it's always been.

Anything else isn't them.

But maybe it's in the distance that they keep. Or maybe, just maybe it's in the way that they're almost always together, but never more than they need to be. Maybe, she wonders, if it's in the awkward silences and the
heavy stares. Maybe it's in those quiet nights, all alone; stuck in Shuhua's room; somewhere in the soft, gentle touches that aren't for meant Soojin or Soyeon to see.

She wonders when that stopped being enough.

The music thrums in the background, something base-heavy that blasts from the speakers littered about, and Yuqi can feel the ground pulsating beneath her feet.

On porcelain skin, perspiration shimmers, colours reflecting off of sweaty bodies in a glittery blur. It's times like these, when the lights bathe her in their gentle glow, a wash of fluorescent pinks and teals painting her like a canvas, features accentuated and shadows prominent under those bright lights, that she forgets how impossibly soft Shuhua really is.

It's hard when things are like this. It isn't fair when they don't play by the rules. Right now, with Soojin there, she's sure that Shuhua knows that too.

Yet there's something in the way she stands there; quietly; like she doesn't need to say anything else. The way her body stills, pressed up against her, and her eyes; glossy as they are, tell Yuqi that she knows that she doesn't have to try anymore. She hates when Shuhua gets like this. But the worst part is that Yuqi makes it harder than it needs to be too.

When Shuhua's pulled her in, it's hard to fight it. It's that stupid little smile that breaks her really; the little simper that she wears when she knows something you don't. Her voice, husked in her ear makes it hard to stay mad at her.

Maybe its the weird haze that she can't seem to shake, or the blood rushing to her head but suddenly, there are so many new what if's. At the end of the day, Yuqi is too curious for her own good. Or maybe she's just too drunk to really care. Either way, she's feeling brave and Shuhua is, still, only so close.

So Yuqi takes a step closer, right off the ledge.

And maybe, there's a line drawn somewhere between them; one faded and worn with time, that has always taunted her. It's there; founded on the ways that they can fuck up four years' worth of enough before tonight is over.

But fate has a fondness for misery. And maybe they do too. Because fate is cruel in the way it guides her body and it's even more unfair with how soft Shuhua is. And so, Yuqi savours the taste, letting it linger because it's Shuhua's and her's alone.

It's warm, Yuqi thinks.

And sweet.

Bitter, almost.

Nevertheless, Yuqi's infatuated,

Shuhua's in love,

And more tastes like lipstick and Henessy.

Dropping this short, impromptu fic to keep me sane while writing martyr.

-larynth_chae✨