Depression » hjs

Chapter 15

After all that classes, we all went back to our houses. Scarlet couldn't join us to walk home since she has something to finish with her group mates. And so, I ended up with Joshua walking me home.

"Hey, since Mr. Stevenson partner up us to this another project we'll be working on. Why not let's start now? We'll be doing it at your place." Joshua suggested that all I could do is nod. When we arrive at my place we immediately went inside. I change my clothes first before walking down the stairs where Joshua is.

I'm with my materials for the project and put those on the mini table. Joshua started to discuss our project before we start to make the project.

"Sis please don't leave me!"

I immediately held my head when I felt it hurt and the flashback from my tragic past appeared. Joshua didn't notice because he's too busy making the project.

"Y/n please save your sister!"

Both of my hands went up to my head and groan in pain. "STOP!" Joshua besides me hurriedly approach me. "The car exploded. 3 people died inside." I groan in pain once again.

"Y/n hey! What's happening?! Y/n! Hey!"

"You better die!"

"Please stop!!!" I yelled and swat Joshua's both hands on my shoulder. I immediately run towards the kitchen and grab a knife. I know Joshua followed behind but, I'm too fast that I'm immediately inside the bathroom locking the door.

"Y/N! DROP THE KNIFE! Y/N DON'T DO SOMETHING STUPID! Y/N OPEN THE DOOR!" Few slams on the door were heard. I didn't mind it and continue to hold the knife.

I'm currently standing in front of the sink where the mirror is located. I stare at my reflection there while holding a knife.

"3 persons died."

"STOP! PLEASE!" I scream both hands on the my head. "DAMN! Y/N OPEN THE GODDAMN DOOR!" I heard Joshua yelled on the other side of the door. I shifted my gaze from the mirror to the door then to my hand holding a knife.

I let go of it and slowly walk towards the door. I open it slowly before sitting on the cold and wet floor. Joshua immediately rush inside and held me tightly.

In that moment I started to cry.

"You can now stop helping me.. I-I know you've got the best intentions... You're J-just trying t-to find a right words to say... I-I promise I've already learned my lesson.. But right now... I wanna be not okay... I'm so tired! Sitting here waiting... That I'll be okay soon! That I'll get rid of this depression! If I hear one more 'just be patient' so always gonna stay the same... Please.. Let me just give up! Let me just let go! I wanna die.. I wanna see my family! If this isn't good for me.. Well I don't wanna know! Please! Let me just stop trying! Let me just stop fighting! I don't want your good advice or reason why I'm alright! You don't know what is like!" He's staring at me while I'm blinking but just don't tell me Joshua what you see. I don't wanna hear it.

I sobbed, "I'm so over all this bad luck! Hearing you say one more 'keep your head up'.. Is it ever gonna change?" I cried but he didn't stop me instead he hug me.

"It's okay.. Everything will be okay soon.. Please don't give up.. Keep on fighting.. I'll be always here." He whisper while hugging me. And at this moment, I just realize that.. Joshua is so precious and kind that I don't know what I did to deserve him..

~~~~~

Did I make some of you sing? Some of the lines are from "You Don't know" so crdts hehe. I suggest you should listen to that song. It's actually a good song you'll never regret it.

~shai