Ready Or Not

Baobhan Sith

**Daniel**

Anna cradled the journal lightly, almost reverently in her delicate hands.

"I know the story, but every time I hear it or think about it, it hits me how sad she must have been for so long…" she said, trailing off.

I eyed the worn black cover and wondered how many times Theo had read it. How many times he had tortured himself with his best friend's story. It looked to be more than a few. 

Sam shifted in his seat. "She swore a lot, but said it was okay."

"Sounds like her," I replied. "So...shall we?"

Theo hugged a pillow to his chest and leaned hard against me. "I wish she could tell you herself. Hate to admit it, but wish she'd gotten to tell Hannah."

Hannah, who sat in the corner with Duke's head on her lap, sighed but made no other sound. She'd been instructed not to, and she listened, like a good girl.

"Let's do this," Sam said. "I need to understand."

Anna licked her lips and took a breath, opening to the page Theo had marked who knows how long ago.

"In 1867, my father- a man with considerable wealth, property, and influence- married my mother- a woman whose own father had barely anything to his name except a very few acres of farmable land," she started.

"My father didn't care about the land or his position, as he was ridiculously smitten with Mother. He took her into his home, an estate on a high hill near Edinburgh, and together they started their life. They had my brother less than a year after they were wed, and I followed a few years later. My parents adored us, and gave us every advantage they could."

Lydia was a natural storyteller, and Anna's voice carried me away.

"My father was determined that I should make a fine and desirable bride so that I could always live as a respected and loved individual. He insisted that I read, that I learn, that I ask questions, and that I get my hands dirty. My mother was in charge of the more delicate, feminine things; except for singing. That was left to my father to teach. He had a voice that could lull a crazed draft horse or wake the whole house. I sang with him every day after my studies. I was educated, I was skilled, and I was, he told me constantly, the prettiest young woman he’d ever laid eyes on, second to my mother. I was everything a man could want. Or so he thought.

"My brother married. He had a child; my nephew Callum. The time when I should have had suitors coming to call came and went.

"I was too independent. Too headstrong. Too opinionated. My parents had filled my head with the idea that I was equal. So I remained unmarried, in my father’s house. To be honest, I didn’t mind. I was happy. I spent my days with my mother and my sister-in-law, with my books, and with my nephew. I was content to spend eternity there with them on the hill."

I couldn't help but picture Lydia against an idyllic landscape, happy with her family. I wondered what would have become of her if she hadn't become a vampire. Though I'd still yet to find out how that had happened.

"I wasn't sure I wanted a husband anyway," Anna continued. "I found men attractive. I'd taken more than one to the stable, or the stairwell at the back of the house, or behind the kitchens. But I'd done the same with the daughter of my father's closest friend, and the young woman who seemed to constantly lose one of her tiny flock near our home.

"I didn't want to be alone, or be a burden or an embarrassment. I just didn't think a husband would necessarily prevent all those things- just change their meaning. You can be married and alone. You can be a man's wife and be a burden or an embarrassment; especially to yourself if it means you have to deny a part of who you are.