Kaya

Part 10. I'm Sorry

After we had recovered from the days events, Valeska and I went on to do different things. It was already dark outside now. Downstairs sat a gloomy Fen in a big  chair, his only company a bottle of whiskey, it was still almost full so I figured he had just sat down.

I walked up to him. "Mind if I join you?"

"Please." He pointed to the chair beside him and filled up a second glass for me, refilling his own in the process.

I sat down and took a sip. That was some strong whiskey he had there.

"Any news of her?" He asked.

"Who? Oh... No, nothing." I hadn't even thought about how Fen and his family were feeling right now, not knowing where Sága was or if she was even still alive.

"I suppose this kind of lifestyle will never stop demanding its tributes." He mumbled before taking a swig.

"What do you mean? Do people go missing regularly?"

"Not missing. Taken away from us. We have so many deaths. You already witnessed three during the short time you've been here."

"Sága isn't dead. Don't think like that yet."

He sighed, finishing his glass and refilling it. "Whatever. What's on your mind, my dear? I've only seen you drink once before, so I suppose this isn't out of pure habit." He raised a brow at me as I took another sip.

Wow. Fen paid more attention than I had expected. "Yes. You're right, I don't usually drink." I rested my elbows on my knees, leaning forward.
"Fen, have you ever been in a situation where you had to choose between what your heart wanted and what your head told you was more important?"

He paused for a moment, looking at me. He took another sip before answering. "Yes. More than once actually. I've learned that problems like that can only be properly solved by your head. You've got to trust in what you think is right and just go with it." By now his speech was slightly slurred and his hand gestures were even more exaggerated than usual. "You need to tackle the  problem yourself, only that way you can get the result you want."

"But my heart tells me the exact opposite to what my head tells me."

"You've got to think objectively when it comes to bigger problems, your hearts emotions might get in the way."

I sighed. "What if your heart tells you to be happy but your head tells you that you can't until  you've done something that might make you very unhappy?"

Fen downed the next glass and looked at me. "Well if you wish to be happy it seems you already know the answer. You need to follow your head to be able to follow your heart."

"I guess you're right... Thank you for your council, Fen." I finished my glass, put it on the table and stood up. "I wish you a good night. And don't worry too much about Sága, she will be alright."

"Good night fine lady." He slurred.
On my way back upstairs I bumped into Val. "Are you okay? You seem upset." She said after looking me over.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just worried about Sága.." It wasn't entirely false, but still a lie. "Did you wanna go to bed?"

"Yes. You aswell?"

I nodded and we both returned to our rooms. I didn't sleep. I waited a few hours until I was sure Valeska had fallen asleep. Quielty I went to my desk and wrote a quick letter.

"Please don't come after me. I'm sure he has Sága and it's my fault. I can only help myself in this.
I have a plan, but it does not involve me coming back.
I love you Valeska.
I'm sorry."

I wiped my tears away and grabbed my bag, slipping the note underneath Val's door and sneaking past her room.

I carefully hushed down the stairs to the lobby, making sure to test the old wooden flooring as  not to make a sound. I grabbed a random coat that was laying around as I opened the front door just enough to slip through, gently closing it behind me.

I put the coat on, it was the middle of the night in winter afterall, even with all I was wearing I was freezing cold. Walking through the deep snow, I rubbed my arms to try and get warmer but to no avail.

There was no destination to which I walked. Only distance would tell when I could stop. I avoided walking straight ahead, taking weird turns from time to time, occasionally even walking in circles, anything that would make it harder to lead Sylen back home.

After hours of walking, barley being able to keep my eyes open from both tiredness and the cold, I turned and looked around myself. There were mountains and the vast, snow-covered field I had traversed. This was far enough.

I took deep breaths, trying to calm. Shaking, I moved my hand in front of me, first up, right, to the upper left, down, left. I knew he would know my location as soon as I started speaking. The magical sigil glowed for a moment  before fading away as I cleared my throat. "Sylen! I'm sorry, you were right. I can't live out here without you. I'm so sorry, please, take me home." My voice cracked and I cried as I spoke, tears rolling down my cold cheeks as sparks formed a portal in front of me.

Sylen stepped through. "Kaya! Are you okay? Oh, my dear Kaya." He wrapped his coat around me as he saw me cry in the freezing cold. "Ssh... It's okay Kaya. I'm here. Everything is okay now." He hugged me. "Come, let's go home." He walked back through the portal with me, holding me so I wouldn't fall.

"Let's get you tucked into bed and I'll make you some hot chocolate, how does that sound?" Sylen gently brought me to my bed, wrapping many blankets around me and making sure I was comfortable. "I'll be right back, don't worry." He went off to the kitchen, leaving me alone for a moment.

He was so kind, so caring. Had he changed perhaps? No. I shook my head. I would not fall for his tricks anymore. The comfort he gave me now was only a lie, I knew this now. This was not going to be my life again.

As Sylen returned with a cup of hot chocolate, I eagerly took it from him. He sat down on my bed. "I am so glad you have finally changed your mind, Kaya. I was truly worried for you. But now everything can go back to normal for us."

Back to normal...

"I'm so sorry Sylen. I did you wrong."

"There is nothing you need to apologize for, my dear. I truly said some questionable things. All that matters, is that you are back now." He laid his hand on my leg as he smiled with me. "I have many questions about your time away, it's been over a week after all. I'm quite curious how you survived alone that long... but I won't bother you with that today, it can wait till  tomorrow."

Sylen stood up and sat on the big armchair in the corner of the room. "It's the middle of the night, I'm sure you are terribly tired. Get some sleep, I will stay here and watch over you."