Simula
Once the lights are switched off, the fervor I am feeling burst out. The blinding lights from the show imprinted inside me. The deafening shouts, calls, and hollers from every person in this classic concise space ringing my ears. It feels like the runway is an endless trance to nowhere. It feels infinite as my eyes grazed it one more time. My eyes burned with the feeling of being riled.
I blinked back the terror of the news I have received awhile ago.
There are three of them. Their faces in the wide screen. With triumph blatant on their features.
I started to hate them.
I began to hate him.
My tears fell without my concern. Mabilis akong tumalikod at tumingin lamang sa pader. Kinuha 'ko ang kalmang paghinga bago tuluyang humarap. Hirap na hirap akong makalunok ngunit hindi ako nagpatangay sa nararamdaman.
People is watching me.
They always do.
Hindi pa rin ako sanay sa mga matang nakatingin sa akin. I don't know why I can't be used to it. I shouldn't be too conscious pero wala akong magawa. It is the way my mind works. It sucks but I can't tamed it.
I took a deep breath and refocused my mind.
The show ended a minute ago. The known visitors, medias, celebrities, and models are making their way to the after party. I should make my way, too, but I can't help myself to change my clothes. Marco already arranged my after-party outfit but my system refused to do a move. Still cladding with strapless white silky jumpsuit, my muscles are all stiffen, recollecting everything that have been flashed through my eyes.
Bumuntong-hininga ako upang labanan ang sariling nararamdaman.
I shouldn't do it.
Maybe, something is wrong with me to continue the runway. Maybe, something is flawed inside my head to meet him after all. The current madness seeping through my skin and chilling my bones are terrifying. But to be able to move forward, I should confirm the reality to him. He always know the law is truth. He remembers and memorizes it too well.
He should know.
But what the hell happened awhile ago?
The flash news...their victory expressions...them.
My whole body trembled, remembering it again.
Is everything planned with enough evidence in his hands?
Did he just use me to orchestrate the truth he only knew?
Iyon ba?!
My heart banging against my ribcage. My lungs collapsing, needing for air. I closed my eyes tightly as the waves of apprehension, filling my head...my whole body. Not now, devil. Not now. Hindi puwedeng ngayon. Parang awa mo na.
I took another handful of breaths and blinked back the unshed tears. My eyes drifted to the glimmering ceiling. Ilang segundo akong nagpasilaw sa chandelier sa taas para doon matuloy ang atensyon 'ko. Iniayos 'ko ang mahabang jacket sa akin nang mahimasmasan ng kaunti. I breathed in through my nose and then faced the surrounding.
Raising my chin, confidence flowing over my features, I started to strut. My heels clinking on the marbled floor as I made way outside the building. Kahit na ang alam 'ko ay hindi 'ko siya kayang harapin ay susubukan 'ko pa rin. With the little energy left in me, with a broken heart, and wrecked mind, I will look at him for the last time. Itong huling pagkakataon para malaman kung kaya niya 'kong tignan sa mata ng diretso.
From the blinding lights of the show, outside seems so different. Ang tanging liwanag ay mula sa mga poste ng ilaw. The insects' sound is frightening. I didn't let the darkness occupied my purpose. Tumuloy lamang ako kung nasaan siya base sa text message na pinadala 'ko sa kanya.
Ilang beses na 'kong kumukuha ng lakas ng loob sa pagbubuntong-hininga.
The ground is muddy due to the rain awhile ago. The dirt is sticking to my heels and I cringed hard. Wala na 'kong nagawa at nagpatuloy na lamang hanggang sa makita 'ko ang pamilyar pigura ng katawan. Hindi na magkamayaw ang emosyon sa aking sistema. Nangatog kaagad ang aking pisngi hindi dahil sa dating pakiramdam kapag nakikita siya-it is because of the frustration and betrayal mixing in my blood.
Anger overpowering the fervor.
Mali siya nang binibintang kay Dad.
My father doesn't have a vicious and twisted mind.
My father is not corrupted.
They are wrong.
"Meica..." the deep and firm and familiar voice boomed around in my system.
Halos mapatigil ako sa paglalakad nang marinig ang boses niya. With a difficulty lifting my gaze to him, ginawa 'ko pa rin. I felt breathless, boring my eyes onto him.
This...face is a deception.
His body...him is clad with solid principles and integrity. Even how striking and brooding his features, treachery sipping through his skin. My poor and dumb heart fell in love with this man. Talaga bang bobo ang puso 'ko?
My lips quivered. My eyes flashed murderously. Rumaragasa ang galit sa aking katawan nang maalala ang nakita sa telebisyon kanina.
How could he sued and filed a case for my father who did nothing wrong for the people he cares so much in his whole life? My father will never make someone miserable to the point of bringing her life to death! Hindi totoo lahat ang binibintang nilay kay Daddy! My father is a honorable man!
Pa'no niyang kayang sikmurahin ang lahat ng pinaggagawa niya?
Ilang beses 'kong pinakalma ang sarili 'ko pero wala na. Hindi 'ko na kaya. Rage flowing in my blood. The ground is slippery but in my high fucking heels, I sauntered directly to his place. Nanginginig ang buong katawan 'ko sa paglalakad papunta sa kanya. Habang siya ay nandoon lamang nakatindig nang maayos. In his usual wear, armored with his normal charcoal suit, his hands on his pocket, and standing tall, his raven eyes zeroing in on mine.
I gritted my teeth in anger. Tears rolled down against my cheeks.
Chills occupied my shoulders but I pointed my index finger right in the moment I faced him. And I unequivocally muttered pain, "Now I know why are you a successful lawyer, you're very good at blaming the innocent people."
There he is...the man I thoroughly loved, gazing at me without emotions...like he used to it. The one he applied inside the courtroom.
He never wears his feelings on his sleeve.
I should know that in the first place.
BINABASA MO ANG
Act of Fervor (Mad Men, #3)
General FictionEven with a hectic schedule of her modeling career, Constancia Jameica Cuesta granted her parents' request. Sino ba naman siya upang tanggahin ang mga magulang na nagbigay sa kanya ng kalayaan sa kagustuhan? Besides, Meica thinks it is effortless b...