She Dreamed of Her Memories

Chapter Eleven- Because of you

A teenage girl's first crush is . . . well, crushing.
Her body isn't hers, nor is her mind.
She finds herself shivering, shaking, blushing,
Weak, tormented, sick, and going blind.
And why? Because some guy might look her way,
Then cast his eyes as quickly to the ground;
Some special one, for reasons she can't say,
Whose voice makes her feel faint when he's around.
But now my crush on you has been returned,
And so the two of us stand on some brink:
It can't be love so young, and yet we've learned
Love does its will, no matter what we think.
Slowly, slowly now--we mustn't rush:
Let's enjoy this first sweet teenage crush.
- Hewlett

Chapter Eleven

"AAAAAAAAAGH!" Silas screams "Here!" He throws a bag at me "Put those clothes on! God!"

"I'm sorry!" I mumble running into the bathroom.
I throw the bag of clothes onto the bathroom floor and begin to dig through it Jenna your so stupid. I mumble to myself. How could you just walk outside like that in a robe? Your so stupid. Now he probably thinks you have no curves and no butt-

"Um. Excuse me, Jenna?" Silas says from outside the door

"Yeah?" I call out

"I, uh- just tell me if the clothes fit or not. I mean your really tiny so I just got the smallest size they had in Old Navy."

I smile even though he can't see me. "I'm sure the clothes will fit fine Silas. Thanks." He noticed that I was really tiny. He actually paid attention to me.

"I ordered pizza and soda. If you don't like pizza there is some food in the fridge."

"Oh good I love pizza. Actually at this point I think I could eat anything without complaining."

"Well it's out here when your hungry. I'm tired so.." He chuckles "Actually I'll wait for you. We need to talk. I still have things I want to say."

"Yeah okay! Just wait.. I'll be out in a few."

Silas bought me yoga pants, a blouse, a t-shirt, underwear, sneakers, and moccasins. And everything he got me seemed to fit perfectly. He knew my size better than my own mom. I throw on the yoga pants and a t-shirt, not caring what I look like. I was just I really tired and hungry. I smelled gooey cheese, and hot tomato sauce, held together with soft crust. And that was enough to help me forget all of the hell I had been through. But not enough to forget that Rachel died. My brothers boyfriend and friend, was murdered because of me. I wanted to see Silas so bad that it cost someone's life. I could never forgive myself. And Jayson will never forgive me.
I walk out of the room and sit on the couch next to Silas. He has a box of pizza, and one slice already out on a plate in front of him. But he hasn't touched it yet, and he looks at it like he never will.
Still I ask "Are you gonna eat that?"

He shakes his head "I can't.."

"You should eat." I say getting a slice of pizza. Cheese droops down from the slice of pizza making my mouth water. I bite into the pizza, again, and again, and again, until I'm almost making out with the gooey delicious creation.

"I used to have a girlfriend." Silas says out of the blue
I choke on my slice of pizza.

Stop. I say to myself.
He doesn't like you. He doesn't matter.

"She used to be pretty cool ya' know? We used to stay up late at night like this talking for hours. About life. And than we'd sleep together. Just sleep and nothing more. We'd lay there on that bed of mines and dream together. It seemed so perfect. Than I dunno.. I don't know what got into her. But she changed. She started killing humans along with the other dream catchers. She said it was the right thing to do. You know at that time I believed her. So I didn't mind what she was doing. She was still the same person I fell in love with right? So I thought 'why break up with her?' But she got even worse. She started to enjoy killing people. Human or not, young or old. She'd slit their throats, or put her hand around their throats and squeeze until she squeezed all the air out of them. She'd come home and brag about all of the gory murders she'd committed. One time she commented 'It was fun, they'll never catch me' and 'you should have seen his face when the life went out of his eyes. That's the best part. Watching them die.'" He sighs "It was sick. She was sick. But I still loved her. I mean I was barely hanging on, but I loved her. And than I started dreaming about you."
"At first it started out slow. I saw only glimpses of you laughing, and smiling in my dreams. But than it got so more intimate. You kissed me once on a hill. And it was so.. different. Way more different than the way my girlfriends kiss felt. Your kiss felt more real." He chuckles " and it was crazy his I didn't hesitate to kiss you back." I blush. It was just like my dreams. "I was doing this to a girl I never met. So the dreams got so much more vivid, and real like memories. We'd go to the beach sometimes. I'd push you on the swings at the park. Or kiss you before you went to bed. It took me forever to see what my dreams were trying to tell me. You see I'm a level four dream catcher. And my fourth power is being able to dream the future. And that's what my dreams had been showing me, that we'd be together. The more I dreamt of you, the I thought of my girlfriend, and the more I found her behavior disturbing. I felt like I lost her. She wasn't the same sweet person she was before. She noticed how I had drifted away from her. It started to make her angry, so angry that she'd kill. She found out about you soon after that. She has the power to go into people's dreams, she can even give them reality nightmares and kill them in people's sleep. So she read my dream, and of course I was dreaming about you. When I woke up she was so angry. She started throwing things at me, punching, kicking, and spitting on me."
"I told her it want my fault, that I couldn't help myself. But he said that I had was cheating. And it was a sin because I was cheating on her with a human. She said 'I'm gonna create hell for that girl Silas. So much hell you'll wish you'd never dreamed a day in your life.' I knew she was going to find you, and she was going to to kill you. But torture you first. That haunted me every single day. I felt responsible for your life. That's when I told Rachel. And she confessed her love for Jayson. I think after that my ex found out about Jayson too, and saw it as opportunity to hurt you. She knows if she ruins Jayson and Rachel it will hurt you, and than it would also hurt me. And than if she kills you... It'd be over for me."

"Oh my god." I gasp "This is why all this hell is happening? Because of some jealous ex?" I almost callopsed onto the floor "I knew someone had been following me that one day! It was probably her." I remember the day Jayson ran out of the house after Uncle Dao had attacked him, and I went out and tried to find him in a neighborhood I barely knew. Instead I felt very creepy footsteps behind me, someone was following me that one day, and it was definitely her.

"It's not just my ex Jenna. She told other dream catchers that I cheated on you with a human. People want me dead. Why do you think I had body guards had in front of my mansion? For show? I chose a human over a dream catcher. That's the biggest sin ever. And the consequence is death. I should be dead right now."

"No you shouldn't. People should have the right to love whoever they want to. Being killed for that is wrong."

"That's the thing Jenna. We're not 'people'. We are Dream Catchers. Its a whole new game. You wouldn't understand."

I roll my eyes "Oh I understand perfectly. You dream catchers are racist, and killers. And I think your just scared Silas. Scared to love some one who's different, smaller, and naive. Loving someone isn't a sin, it's a gift. But Dream Catchers are terrified of that."

"I'm not scared to admit it." Silas cuts me off "I love you Jenna Coleman. I truly love you, and I can't help myself. I've tried but I can't. And it kills me every ingle day that I- out of all the Poole In the world- the most pathetic person had to determine your future. And your future isn't pretty, a lot of people are going to have to die for us to be together. Your gonna be hurting all the time, everyday. And it's all because of me. But I admit I love you. I can show you too. That's all I can do right now. Protect you, and love you. I promise I will every single day."

"Thank you." I say because nothing else comes out. Not "I love you too" or "God that's to sweet" Just nothing. I was speechless. Because my life depended on him. And because it was scary that someone had loved me this much, and confessed it to me. And even scarier that I love him just as much as he does. Either way I was so done for the day. I ate three slices of pizza throughout Silas's life story, and I grabbed the Pepsi can off the table. Nice and cold. Just the way I liked it.
"I'm gonna go to bed." I get up for the table and go to my room "Thanks for telling me that Silas. Please eat something and sleep. Seriously." But that didn't change his lost expression on his face. And it was sad I left him confused, and angry.

And I swore I head Silas whisper "She hates me." To himself when I walked away.