It's The Hard-Knock Life

It's a hard-knock life pt. 1

TW: strong indications of suicidal thoughts and an attempt

Annie was a young girl. She struggled a lot growing up, especially when she had to put up with Miss Hannigan, but she tried her best to remain positive and to not lose hope. Miss Hannigan on the other hand, was an absolute cruel alcoholic who made the kids at the orphanage clean the building daily without doing even a single thing herself. 

Annie hated Miss Hannigan. She wished she could just go right up to her face and scream at her for how horrible she was, but she didn't. She wanted to at least survive the years at the orphanage before she could finally leave and get it over with, since she started to get doubt that her parent were coming to get her.

One specific day, Miss Hannigan was out and apparently, she was running errands, God known what she really was doing. Annie and the other kids saw this as an opportunity to take a small break. They finished cleaning the house as quickly as they possibly could before they took their time to relax.

Annie still had one thing she never wanted to lose, her locket. Technically, it was half of a locket, but it still meant so much to her. The locket was the one thing her parents left with her before they left her, and there was absolutely no way she was ever going to let anybody ruin or take it. She sat down on the roof while taking in the view and breathing in the easily recognisable NYC air.

Suddenly, she saw Miss hannigan coming back. She hurried down from the roof and warned the other kids, who all found their cleaning supplies so Miss Hannigan might not go as hard on them.

She walked in the door.

"MINI-MONSTERS!" she yelled.

"WHY  IS THERE DUST ON THE DOOR HANDLE? I THOUGHT I ASKED YOU ALL TO CLEAN THIS HOUSE, I SAID I WANTED IT SPOTLESS!" she soon saw the worried look on the kids' faces. There was no way she was going to just let them stand there. That was when she noticed it. Annie was nowhere to be seen.

"All right kids, i wanna now right now, WHERE IS ANNIE?" she said, clearly mad.

Nobody wanted to say anything, but they also didn't want do end up with bruises and black eyes the next day.

"I'm right here miss Hannigan!" Annie replied while walking in through the doors. "I just had to make sure that the windows looked presentable, and I didn't see you coming home".

"This is the last time I will take an apology like that, young lady. Continue being late, and you might not have a home!" miss Hannigan said with a stern voice. 

Annie knew that there was no way she was throwing Annie out. She would lose the money she gets for supporting her, ,the money she uses to buy even more alcohol, every kid would probably go a different place, leaving her without the money she gets for supporting the kids. Even if she didn't lose the money, Annie would end up right back in there with miss Hannigan. There was no way she could throw Annie out without any consequences, so Annie just smiled and nodded with a hint of fear hidden in her eyes. 

"See, this is the reason why none of you have families. I'm sure they all got tired of you, somebody even decided that death would be the best decision. Maybe if you wouldn't have acted out so much and been so annoying, you would be able to look them in the eyes" she said. All the orphans knew that simply wasn't the case, but after a while, they were all bound to start believing every word she said.

Sally, a 12 year old girl who stayed at the orphanage, always acted like Annie's big sister, but she hid a secret that nobody else knew. Annie was sure there had to be something happening, but she couldn't put her finger on exactly what it was.

Sally went straight to the roof the minute miss Hannigan went out the door again. Annie wanted to run after her, comfort her, tell her that she only had 6 years left before she cloud finally escape miss Hannigan's claws, but she decided against it. She knew how much she hated being comforted, how much she hated being pitied. 

Instead, she went to look underneath the couch cushions for the lollipop she found earlier. She may not have found the lollipop, but she found something else. A note. She opened it up, and started reading it in her head.

Dear Annie

I know this isn't how we wanted it to end, but I know that this was the only way out. You have lived here for all your life, you grew up here, you have found ways to manage, to survive. Me on the other hand, I don't know how I'm supposed to keep on fighting.

I've tried to keep my feelings under wrap, to not let them control me, but I'm bound to explode sometime. I don't want to be near you when that happens, cause I know it'll only cause you trouble. 

When you find this note, it'll probably be too late. I might be gone forever. 

I had one secret i never told you about while I was alive, but I want you to know it.

My parents knew who I was, they even kept me until I was 6. After that, I was moved from foster home to foster home. Every time I tried to say something about how I felt, they made it sound like I was just seeking attention. As if I wanted them to hate me. One being either worse or better than the other, but I would never stay in the same place for more than 3 months. That was until I turned 9. I lived with a family i thought loved me as much as I loved them. Still, there had to be something, right?

On my 10th birthday, I knew I should let them know the secret that I had kept for as long as I could remember. I wasn't sure until a couple months had passed after I moved in with them. 

There was this girl, Marie, who was 2 years older than me. She had beautiful auburn hair that smelled like roses, emerald green eyes - I could stare into them forever. And her freckles. I loved her cute little freckles.

Anyways, I told them the truth. That I liked Girls. That I was gay. Obviously, they didn't support it, and that was the day I arrived at the orphanage. I saw you, the happy little girl who kept smiling through it all. i wished I could be like you.

Now you know the truth, and please don't be mad at yourself or anybody else. I'm really, really sorry, and remember that I love you, and I'll always be with you.

Locket Socket

Sincerely, Sally

Tears fell down from Annie's face. That her foster family wouldn't accept her for something as stupid as who she likes. She smiled a little at their inside joke, Locket Socket. They each had one half of a locket, and they always put their lockets underneath the couch cushions when miss Hannigan went to punish them for the day. She was glad that Sally could still give a real and genuine smile whenever they mentioned it. 

Then she remembered it.

The roof.