Our Scented Garden (JoongNine AU)

Chapter 4

Joong

I walked with heavy steps, towards the study room inside the mansion. This needed to be done before I changed my mind again for the umpteenth time. The reason, Nine was getting bolder, and I ran out of excuses to avoid his advances. It was easier, if only I could do what he said, to reject him outright. But, I didn't want to lie to myself, I couldn't do it, yet, I couldn't accept him too.

I knocked at the door before entering. Two pair of eyes looked at me expectantly. I'd had asked to see them both, rather than separately. If I was not Nine's friend, if my parents were not someone they're familiar with, I didn't think I could easily ask to meet the Kornchids. Their schedules were jammed pack, the amount of time spent in this house were rather scarce, and rather than being civil after not meeting one another for some time, they always found something to argue about. This was awkward, uncomfortable, on both sides.

My hands were sweaty, my heart was racing as I sat on the sofa. How to begin to talk about something that was buried for 20 years, and was heard over an argument. I tried to keep it shut, but Nine would be hurt more if I stay any longer.

"What is it that you wanted to see us, Joong?", Madam asked softly to get me started. Sir was more aloof, not that it was any different from every other day, but I could see him tensing, as if preparing to defend whatever it was that I was going to say in regard to his family.

"2 years ago, I overheard your arguments. Not purposely, if that what you are thinking. I was in Nine's room, and your fight happened just outside the door". Both of their faces paled in shock, and Mr. Kornchid immediately looked at his wife. Madam sighed heavily and covered her face in her hands, trying to calm her breaths.

"So, you wanted to claim your right after keeping it for 2 years? For what, inheritance? Since you will come of age next year?", Mr. Kornchid asked doubtfully.

"Don't you dare accused him like that. My inheritance alone is more than enough for him, we don't need a cent from you", Madam said before I could answer the question.

I kept quiet until they were ready to listen again, then continued, "To answer you, Sir, no, I'm not here for myself, nor claiming anything too".

"You never get hold of money, so, easy for you to say that you won't claim anything, for now", Mr. Kornchid said coldly.

"Yes, Sir. You may be right; I can't miss what I never have. Though our family doesn't have much money, we have the richness of hearts; warmth and love. Then again, what's the point of having a lot, when the child still come to the lowly house, to feel such warmth?".

"Are you patronizing us right now, on how we brought up Nine? Such insolence!".

"Maybe, you should listen first to what Joong is trying to say, rather than interrupting and berating him every chance you get".

"Thank you, Madam".

"Nine is a lovely person. He can choose to rebel, or hate both of you, but he didn't. He came to me just to rest for a while, and never, not even once talking bad about the people that making him sad. Though born rich, his wish is the most basic thing that he can't buy, to be loved by someone".

"So, he came to you for love? What a ridiculous assumption", Mr. Kornchid said and shook his head.

"Not an assumption, a cold person liked you won't be able to understand. I'd realized that for a long time, that Nine do like you more than others, Joong. I just thought, it was an affection, liked best friends or siblings do, because you both grew up together. But, when you came to age at 18, he started to be more obvious. Sometimes, I wanted to tell him to stop trying to hide it. You could see it too, right ?". I just nodded.

"Can I ask you something? Do you love him the same way, Joong?".

I remained quiet. The reality was cruel, our circumstances were too complicated. Where would this love lead to? Nowhere. There's no end. Someday, without a choice, he definitely would have to continue his family legacy, and we'd be separated further apart more than now.

"You're not answering, meaning that either you don't feel anything, or you don't want to deny anything. My guess is the later". I took a deep breath, and nodded.

"I won't allow it, to the death of me, you won't be together", Mr. Kornchid said immediately.

"I have no illusion about that, Sir. And that's also the reason why I wanted to see both of you today too. I've already talked with my parents, and they will support whatever decision that I made".

"And that is?"

"We will leave this household, as soon as we could find another place to live".

Mrs. Kornchid's eyes widened in disbelief, her voice quivered when she's saying this "Joong, I know you can't love me as a mother, yet. But, you're my child. As long as you live, you're a Vikrothana".

I looked at her, while trying to search and ounce of love inside of me towards her as mother and son. Nothing. In all my life, she is Nine's mom, and that was how it should stay, "Though half of your blood runs in me, if you want me to feel a child's love towards his mother, I can't. The only feeling I have is respect; for treating my parents good and for being Nine's mother. Mae and Por are my parents. Yes, my parents are just ordinary people that worked hard to earn a living. But, I love and am proud of them as any child to their parents should be".

"What do you mean?".

"You said Nine and I are not blood related. I could deduce, that somehow Nine is a Kornchid, but not yours. But, I could see, you love Nine without an ounce of pretense too. You are his mother, more so than you're mine. Let it stay that way forever". I moved and kneeled in front of them, and solemnly said, "Be there for Nine; parents, a listener, a friend and most of all, his family. After we're gone, he needs that the most, a family. The reason I keep my silence in these 2 years, because I don't want him to be alone, without anyone. True, both of you were caught up in this unwanted situation, but please try and make it work. 20 years is a long time to still be at odd with one another. Even if there's no love, build up some understanding, for the sake of your son."

"Yes, I love Nine from my heart. But, I love you too, Joong. You couldn't imagine how hard I have to pretend to be a stranger to you, but at least, I can be happy to see you grow up in front of my eyes, and be close to Nine too. As long as my blood runs inside of you, you're my son. I will support your family as long as I live".

"I'm sorry, but I have to decline, Madam. I was an Aydin, still an Aydin and will be an Aydin. The pay that my parents received from your generosity, are enough to keep up our living, somewhere else. I will also work to support myself without burdening them".

"Will you still contact us, Joong? It will help to put my heart at ease. What about Nine? He won't accept this easily".

Though I could see her looking at me hopefully, I shook my head.

"We will leave quietly, Madam. Let this be our end to everything. With time, Nine will someday grow out of his affection for me". I looked at the face of the man that started off aloof and doubting my intention, but now was looking at me with unfathomable eyes, "Sir, I understood, your objection in our relationship had a reasonable ground as a father. Just to ease your worry, we never did anything more than was allowed to. Regarding my family, don't worry that we know everything, we will take it to the grave. Though you seemed like a cold person, thank you for supporting my education in all these years". For the first time, I could see surprise in his eyes. I was not blind, the cost for school and college were not cheap, and my parents alone couldn't afford it, without a help from somewhere.

I bowed my head as a final gesture of gratitude. I stood up to leave immediately, without turning back once, even to comfort the sobbing that I'd heard, from a mother that was never mine.