Back to Me

With You

"I'll go get ice cream. You better have the movie picked out by the time I come back." Lizzie shouts over her shoulder, exiting the room.

Josie sighs. She wasn't in the mood for movie night, but it was the least she could do after Lizzie asked her a dozen times what was wrong. Everything had gotten so complicated she didn't know where to begin.

So Dark Josie is still in my head and we don't know when my mind will crumble.

I'm taking sessions with Freya, did I mention that?

Hope and I kissed and now the crush I had on her is back.

Josie paced to the bookshelf and pulled out a cubed bin where they kept movie CDs. Her dad was very strict when it came to technology, so the only way for them to watch movies was through an old DVD connected to their TV. She was aware that people didn't use DVDs anymore, but it was still more than other students had.

She closed her eyes and rummaged through the cases. She picks two random ones, opening her eyes again to decide which one.

Something's Gotta Give and Blue Valentine.

Josie threw them back in the bin, running a hand through her hair. Just my luck, she thinks. Since the universe appears to want her to suffer, she settles for something she can control -- she opens her closet, picking a comfortable pair of linen shorts and tank top. She throws her shoes, letting them crash somewhere in the corner. Then, she pulls down her skirt, followed by the Salvatore blazer and button-up.

Once she is ready for a night-in, she goes up to the mirror to remove her jewelry. She exhales a relieved breath as she takes out her earrings. They looked stunning, but they often irritated her ears. She meets her reflection, running her gaze from the downward curve of her lips to the creasing of her brow, back to the absent shade of her eyes.

She looked... sad.

Josie brings her hand up, lightly meddling with the pendant hanging from her neck. Since the first time she took it out of the velvet sack, she thought it was beautiful, with the intricate vines spanning its length, surrounding a shield with the Mikaelson crest. She never took it off, especially after being buried alive by her zombie mom. It always offered her some semblance of comfort, hoping, against everything, that if she held onto it hard enough Hope would swoop in and save her like the hero she always was.

It only made her feel foolish now. Penelope made it clear with her parting words: Josie had a knack for putting others' happiness and needs before her own. She was right, of course, but Josie reasoned she did it out of the goodness of her heart -- love thy neighbor and whatnot.

The necklace didn't offer a safe space anymore, it burned a hole on her chest where it rested. Josie pulled it away with enough force to snap the clasp. She tossed it against the dresser, her breathing coming in spasms. She glared at the crumpled piece of metal with enough anger it could burst into flames. She wished it would burn into nothingness, ashes she could simply blow away.

She was tired of giving everything she had to people that didn't appreciate it. Didn't deserve it. From her selfish sister to dad with divided attention to manboy Landon. She thought Penelope saw her for who she was, then she broke up with her to "toughen her up", letting her believe she wasn't worth dating. She was miserable for months afterward and the witch didn't budge. For a long time, she thought Hope understood her. She had always been kind to her, always worried for her when everyone else was busy looking at Lizzie. Josie thought there was some sort of connection between them, not romantic, but an understanding.