I'm A Beast

I am a beast doomed to walk this Earth until death do us part.
And these little pests that live in my mind feed off my pain and continue to confine me.
Although amongst these pests there lives butterflies that want me to feel Worthy no matter the countless amount of these butterflies that try to warm me and make me feel whole.
These pests in my mind continue to drown them out with their teeth seeping deeper and deeper into my skin.
As much as I've been trying to slip through I'm not going to lie they have a good grip.
Telling me I'm ugly I'm fat I'm useless I'm unworthy and I'm going to spend my life alone. Don't act like you haven't known it's true when you look in the mirror tell me what you see.
As much as I plead with these pests just to leave me alone they continue to pierce deeper and deeper with their words flowing through my veins and spinning round and round in my mind like a ferris wheel.
No matter how many of these butterflies swarm around me when I look in the mirror my eyes deceive me as a beast.
Forced to live out everyday. And no matter how much weight I can carry with all of these painful blisters It's never enough for these pests that whisper in my ear no one's going to love you.
Regardless of what the number is on the scale I still feel like I'm confined to this jail. This jail of being lonely this jail of being lost this jail of being alone when the lights turn off.
I'm far too afraid of what the naysayers will say.
And these butterflies heartfelt words get drowned out by one single dragonfly that decides to spit on what they have to say and devour them.
And utter the only words that seem to be my truth.
When I look in the mirror I see an ugly beast full of Horror.
Trying to be something that it's just not trying to blend among the crowds knowing that it'll never truly know where it belongs.
It knows that there are admirable butterflies that long for its Bliss.
So it pursues through every agonizing step.
However these butterflies never truly notice the fireflies because they live in my mind killing off their words like a serial killer as if they were meaningless.
As if I'm nothing but a helpless lost case.