MY LIFE

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Hiii.....so i thought to make this book as my journal. I will write how my day is going and how i feel about it. So today it was one of my frnds bday. We use to talk so much on chats, but now we don't talk that much. Well maybe its my fault bcoz he likes/ liked me. I told him that I don't have that feelings for anyone. I don't believe in love and all. So we kinda lost that contact. I was really hurt by saying no to him but i knew that i m not good enough for anyone. After knowing me they will be embarrassed or i don't know. He is my type like shy and all. And i wanted him to be very good frnd. Well maybe i m somewhere wrong. So today my day was going good. I was scrolling through instagram and today's memes were really funny. I shared with my cllg frnds. And boom my mood ruined. At evening by aunt and her son were telling me see that girl who is my age is driving car. That girl is my aunt's frnd daughter and she likes her. Everyday same thing goes. But u know i want to be honest here i m scared of peoples as what will they think about me of i will learn vehicle or even those children who r in 14 something knows how to drive. I m scared. I m scared. I know i shouldn't think about this society and all but it gives me anxiety. I m not able to help myself. My cousin brother before some few years back was trying to tech me vehicle but my balance is not there as I don't know how to ride cycle. I do want to learn it but i m scared of this society thinking and about those kids making fun of me and all. And when i am sad my bad memories come into my mind. I never had frnds before i turned 18. I compare myself with my cousins and frnds. I know i shouldn't do it but can u blame me. When we r sad we can't think properly.

The reason i choose to convert this book into journal is to put my problems in words. I can't write in my real diary as my family is very noisy. They don't know the meaning of privacy. My brother comes first into it as he always thinks i m doing some bad things. Guys if u read this update i want u to write ur problems or anything u want to write in comment section.