this is the most anxious i've felt in a long time. i'm not sure what's going on. i have to calm myself down before anything and oh my god i can't stop shaking. i have the urge to do something bad again like i used to. i breathe shakily and i'm just so sad all day. i don't even wanna hang out with people because i can't help but think of all the awful things that could happen any second.
