Jesus Christ is a Whore

First Encounters

     "Ahhh, night at last" he whispered, "what's not to like about night?". Amadeus had always preferred night to day, not for any sinister or unsavory reasons, he simply hated the brightness of the sun and the incessant chirping of the birds. Tonight Amadeus had even more incentive than usual to be out at night, a new club was opening within walking distance of his apartment and you bet your ass he wasn't going to miss out on the absolute gold mine of hot chicks. Chasing tail was typical for him, part of his daily routine, and this man was a real freak of nature: perfectly symmetrical six pack, 7 inch dick with a perfect upwards curve, a perfectly refined pickup game and so much innate inate sex appeal that every girl who saw him had to try and get a peice. Amadeus's only goal this night was to get laid and failure was not an option.
     As he arrived at his destination he noticed a suspicious lack of females, "where are all the hot chicks" he asked no one in particular. It's worth noting that Amadeus was already fashionably buzzed at this point because he was a closeted alcoholic and couldn't resist taking a few sips of wine before he stumbled away to get even more shit-faced while seducing some poor woman. As he walked closer to the door he felt his excitement growing, "so what if there's no chicks outside, that's probably because they're all inside right" he thought. It's also worth noting that Amadeus is a stupid son of a bitch. As the bouncer waved him in he felt a sense of familiarity, he'd done this before, he was a pro. The shock came immediately, "what the fuck" he muttered at the horrifying scene splayed out in front of him. There was nothing but men in varying stages of nudity, men grinding on each other, men making out, men doing things he'd never even seen before. This was something he didn't prepare for, something that utterly horrified him, not all the gayness, that was fine, he was horrified because of the distinct lack of women.
     And so begins our story, the story of a stupid bastard that unwittingly walked into a gay bar and decided to stay because he had already paid the entrance fee. Amadeus walked over to the bar, determined to get drunk enough to fuck a man. He sat down and ordered a scotch on the rocks even though he fucking hates both scotch and rocks because the scotch burns his fucking throat and the rocks make it too fucking cold. He heard another man sit down next to him and say "hello son". Amadeus looked over at him and saw a sexy ass man with a crown on his head.
"What's the crown for?" asked Amadeus.
"To help atone for the sins of humanity" the man replied.
"Like Jesus?" asked Amadeus.
"Yes my son, I am Jesus" replied Jesus. "Ok well I don't need any proof of that, wanna fuck?" asked Amadeus.
"Yes my son" replied Jesus
"Let's do it at your place" said Amadeus.
"Yes my son" replied Amadeus
And so, just like that Amadeus was never seen again. This sort of thing happens when you go to an outwardly crazy persons house during the middle of the night (I mean come on, Jesus... really... at a gay bar, damn Amadeus you really are stupid as fuck).

     Just kidding, Amadeus is absolutely fine and having the time of his damn life clapping Jesus cheeks while choking him with a belt. After a couple heartfelt pumps of the old cum tube Amadeus realized that he'd had his first orgasm with a dude and it wasn't nearly as bad as he thought, in fact, he was ready to go round for two. Obviously this Jesus guy was ready as well because he still had a pretty massive erection so Amadeus climbed right back into position and cinched the belt tight again. After several more minutes of frantic gasping clapping and moaning the sinful deed was done and the pair had once again reached climax. Jesus was ready for more but Amadeus was just about ready for bed, well, he was ready for Jesus to go to bed and him to slip out at four-ish as per usual procedure. After they had gotten their shit sorted and went to bed Amadeus did exactly the same thing as he had done a thousand times before, he woke up at four like usual and just straight up ditched Jesus. However, there was one significant alteration to his regularly scheduled ghosting method. He left a small slip of paper with his phone number on the nightstand.