Miritama Angst

Chapter 1

Tamaki's POV--

I sat on my bed, doodling softly in my sketchbook. We hadn't been assigned anything and the shop was closed for renovations meaning I had the afternoon to myself. 

Never a good thing considering my thoughts. 

The nice thing about rich parents, though neglectful, was the option to pay to have my own dorm room. I had the whole room and closet to myself, which of course helped keep myself from constant anxiety because of people. 

Just as I leaned back against my headboard to get a better angle I felt my phone buzz in my pocket. I pulled it out.

Mirio: Hi! Are you free rn?

I smiled despite myself, feeling my face turn a light shade of pink. My eyes widened and I lightly pinched myself. 

Butterflies shouldn't fly through your stomach when your best friend texts you. Your straight best friend. 

Tamaki: Yeah, why?

Mirio: Nejire and I are playing games, wanna come?

Tamaki: Where?

Mirio: Her dorm, her roomies out with a friend

Tamaki: I'll come soon then

It was always easier chatting over texts. I swung my legs over the sides of my bed and stood up, lightly stretching. 

Anxiety started going at me, my already tired brain not even giving up a fight. Instead I reached into my desk drawers and pulled out an orange bottle. In one swift motion I dumped a total of three of the pills in my hand and took them. 

I shoved it into my pockets along with a few other ones. Just in case. 

I then combed through my hair again and brushed my teeth. I also touched up my concealer just in case. 

It was probably a bit much, but I didn't want them to think I looked gross. And of course if they saw my face in it's current state without my makeup they'd freak out. 

I swapped my shirt for a button up and sweater, grabbed my phone and left. It was a short walk, Nejire's dorm was just in the building next to mine.

As I approached the building Mirio waved to me violently, a large smile plastered on his face. In the darkness I almost saw a faint pink brushed onto his cheeks. 

I smiled slightly, feeling my face heat up slightly. Instinctively I leaned forward to try and hide my face with my hair. 

"H-hi," I stammered, delving my hands deep into my pockets, gripping my pills like a life line. 

"Hi Tamaki!" He exclaimed, reaching his hand up for a high five. I meekly brought my up to his and tapped it. 

In the brief moment our hands touched I felt my heart flutter. 

He led me up the stairs and into Nejire's room. She sat on her bed, a controller in her hand with two next to her. 

She perked up when we walked in, smiling and waving. 

"Tamaki!" She yelled. I smiled softly. Why doesn't my face heat up when she calls out to me?

I sat down next to Mirio. He handed my a controller, off offhandedly explaining what the game was and the controls. I nodded along, only half listening. 

I was mostly focused on his thigh, the one that was ever so slightly brushing against mine, sending shivers through my spine. 

"Tamaki? Tamaki are you okay?" Mirio asked, waving a hand in front of my face. I snapped back to reality with a jolt, feeling my face heat up in embarrassment. 

"S-sorry, I-I guess I zoned out," I stuttered. 

"It's okay! You ready?" He asked. 

I popped two more pills out of my bottle and brought them up to my mouth discreetly. 

"Y-yeah..."  

We started playing. It was a fighting game, kind of like smash bro's but with a set of characters from a popular TV show. 

I sucked bad at video games, this one included. I lost first in almost all of the rounds, embaresment and anxiety washing up to me. I didn't even come close to second place. 

Mirio seemed to notice my distress and smiled to me with a thumbs up. "Don't worry! Your doing great Tamaki!" 

I smiled softly, nodding. 

His encouragment didn't help me get better at this game however. 

Before I embarresed myself to much I decided to excuse myself. Nejire and Mirio asked me to stay, but I made up an excuse about work the next day to get out of it. 

They bid me farewell and I started walking back to my dorm. 

You suck at that game, you suck at life. You shouldn't have gone. They only invited you because you force themselves on you. 

I reached to my pocket, pulling out a bottle. I unscrewed it without looking to see what it was and swallowed three. 

On the way up the stairs my head felt fuzzy, but good. The thoughts weren't bothering me anymore. 

I leaned on the wall for support, feeling my knee's grow weak. 

I barely managed to claw myself into my room before collapsing. 

I woke up the next morning to my phone insistently buzzing. I groaned, my head aching, as I sat up. 

It seemed Mirio was calling me. 

"Tamaki!?" Mirio shouted into the phone. I winced, shoving the phone away from my head. Whatever I did to myself last night seemed to be taking a toll on my body. 

"Y-yes?" I stammered, bringing the phone back to my ear. 

"Are you alright!? Your boss called us and said that you weren't answering your phone, and I wanted to come to check on you but Nejire said I should call first just in case-" I felt my heart pang slightly. Why was he with Nejire?

"I'm fine, j-just overslept," I stammered. I felt my anxieties crawl back to me, almost as if they were awaiting my awakening. I felt my throat start to close up and my eyes start to grow teary. 

"I-I need to get ready for work! I'll text you later!" I half yelled into the phone before hanging up. 

I groaned, leaning my head against the door. Today wasn't going to be a good day. 

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Theres the first chapter, it's all over the place, but hey, I liked it.