Miritama Angst

Chapter 2

Tamaki's POV--

Work was rather difficult that day. I started the day off on the wrong foot, and then ever time I started tending to the flowers a customer would walk in. 

I hated talking to people, it was probably the only part of this job I hated. However it seemed to be the only thing I happened to be doing this morning. 

When my lunch break rolled around I nearly cried tears of joy. I of course didn't. I'd die of embarrassment if I did. 

I went to the back of the shop where I got a cigarette. 

I hadn't eaten in three days now. I didn't want to though. 

The cigarette helped me relax against the fear that had been building up all of my shift. 

Just a few minutes in however I heard a knocking on the door behind me. 

The only people who know to knock before coming into a room with me in it to not scare me is Nejire and Mirio. Meaning I had about 5 seconds to get rid of the cigarette or they'd find out. I dropped it quickly and stomped on it, managing to pop in a breath mint just in time. 

"Tamaki!" I heard Mirio call. I turned around, feeling my face start to flush already. 

"H-hi," I stuttered. "Wh-what are you d-doing h-here?" 

"This is your lunch break, so I wanted to hang out with you!" I nodded. 

"I brought lunch by the way, want some?" He asked, pulling out a bag with food. I felt a pang of pain go through my stomach.

"N-no thanks," I muttered, shoving my hands into my pockets to hide there shaking. 

"You sure?" Mirio always asked if I was sure whenever I said no to something. It's not always helpful though, when I'm fighting my bodies natural urge to eat. Food however equals calories which equals weight. 

"Yeah-" I was cut off by a loud grumbl from my stomach. Mirio cocked an eyebrow at me, a light smirk gracing his features. 

God that smirk. It made me weak in the knee's and the butterflies in my stomach run marathons. 

He tossed me a sandwhich, which I took hesitantly. I knew well enough that If I don't eat for to long and then eat a bunch of food I vomit, but if I didn't eat it all he'd be mad. 

I debated internally about what to do with the food, staring at it. 

"Go on. Eat," He grunted between bites of food. He had sat down on the stairs leading out of the store. 

I sighed, giving into both temptation and Mirio. Mirio and his all to perfect smile, all to perfect voice and all to perfect personality. 

I took a small bite. No matter how many times Mirio insisted that I eat, I still fell self-concious about how I eat. I feel self-concious eating in general. I feel like I gain the weight and become fatter as I eat the food. 

The sandwich tasted good. To good. My brain and body imediantly started to reject the food, causing me to gag. 

"You okay?" Mirio asked, looking at me concerned. I forced a small smile, gulping back another gag. 

"I'm fine," I managed between gritted teeth. 

My stomach churned against the foreign object, nasuea starting to flood me already. My stomach had shrunk, and with that one bit I was already feeling ready to barf. 

I took another bite, swallowing as best I could. It threatened to come back up, but I managed to keep it down. The distress must've shown on my face because I felt a hand come up and cup my face, shifting upwards to look in Mirio's deep blue eyes. 

"Are you sure your alright? If your not feeling well you don't have to eat it..." Mirio's voice was so soft, so caring...

I felt my face heat up from both the closeness and the position. Just as it did though, I ripped myself from Mirio's arms and threw up onto the pavement. I couldn't even keep two bites down. 

How awful am I? So bad I can't even keep down the food that my friend gave me? 

"S-sorry," I choked out, already sobbing as Mirio was washing the vomit away with a hose. 

"You have nothing to apologize for, if anything I should be sorry. I forced the food on to you without considering that you might not feel well," He responded cheerfully. 

I wiped my tears pitifully, fear washing over me. I fumbled into my pocket, pulling out the bottle. I dumped five pills into my hand. Just as I was about to throw them into my mouth I felt a hand firmly grab my wrist. The same wrist that I abused this morning. 

I bit my lip to keep from hissing in pain. Mirio's eyes met mine for a brief moment before I looked to the ground, fear and anxiety attacking my already vulnerable mind. 

"How many is that? Five? Didn't the doctor say two maximum?" He asked, taking the pills from my hand, "On top of that, what even are these? They look nothing like your usual meds?" 

I breathed deeply, trying to think up something. Anything. 

"Th-the doctor said th-that the o-other meds weren't doing e-enough so he gave m-me these inst-" I was cut off by Mirio grabbing the bottle. 

It was orange, and looked exactly like a medicine bottle. From a distance. You look closer and you realize that it's fake, a dealer's bottle. 

"Are these... Are these drugs?" He asked softly, trying to make contact with my eyes. I looked at the ground, already feeling the shame that came with it all. 

The shame, the anxiety, the fear, the hate. 

Being an addict was just one of my many faults, one of the many things that people could hate me for. 

Just as I brought my hand back up to my face I noticed the smeared makeup on my hand. 

Damnit. 

"I-I need to go to the bathroom," I stammered, pulling myself away from Mirio. He protested but I made it to the bathroom first. 

I looked into the mirror and luckily it seemed that they weren't showing. Just in case I dapped some more on and even added a layer of water proof liquid. 

I then sat against the wall opposite the door, popping a few pills every now and then. 

Nothing however could stop the spiratic beat of my heart as it tried to catch up with what happened. 

Mirio saw me vomit after not much food meaning he had a mind for not eating, he saw me try to take drugs meaning he knows I'm an addict and I've just rushed off the fix my makeup meaning he know's that it's hiding something. Just fantastic.  

---

Oof.