Miritama Angst

Chapter 3

Tamaki's POV--

I breathed deeply, trying to stop myself. But it was to late. I slipped the razor from my pocket and rolled up my sleeve. Slash after slash resided on it, leaving barely any space for any more. 

I pushed it against my skin. Just as I was about to slash however I heard a knocking on the door.

"Tamaki, I'm sorry, could we please talk?" I heard Mirio call softly. 

The tears that had been streaming down my face grew, and I felt my hand waver against my skin. I had locked the door. I'm safe in here. 

"Tamaki please?" I couldn't say no. I couldn't say no to him. 

I pushed the razor back into my pocket and rolled my sleeve back down. With shaky hands I unlocked the door and twisted the handle. 

Before me stood Mirio. He didn't look tall and confident though. He looked shrunk, almost hunched over. His expression which almost always had a smile was twisted into a frown. 

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry I'm sorry," I blubbered, bringing my hands up to my face to wipe my tears pitifully. 

He placed his hands on my shoulders softly. 

"Can I hug you?" He asked. I nodded. 

He pulled me in, his arms wrapping tightly around my back. I gasped softly before wrapping my arms around him. 

I stood there, engulfed in his warmth for a few moments. 

"You can talk to me..." Mirio murmured. 

I was torn. I didn't want to keep anything from him, I want him to know everything about me and me everything about him, but I also didn't want him to know how broken I really am.

I took his shirt in my hands, gripping it tightly as I stood still. I couldn't tell him. Then he wouldn't want to be my friend let alone my boyfriend. 

My eyes widened as that thought penetrated my mind. Boyfriend? Damnit. 

I gasped, pushing Mirio away from me. His expression almost look hurt, but I ignored it. Damnit, how could I forget? How much did I fuck myself up last night to end up forgetting. I mouthed sorry at Mirio hurriedly before calling him. 

Him being my boyfriend, Kiyoshi. How had I actually thought to have Mirio as my boyfriend while I was still dating someone. 

I clicked call, bringing the phone up to my ear despite my fear of calls. It rung three times before he picked up. 

"Baby?" He grunted into the phone. He seemed hungover. Hopefully he won't realize that I'd forgotten to call him all of last night and this morning. 

"Hi Kiyoshi, how are you doing?" I asked. I remembered the warmth that his voice brought me before and I smiled softly. 

"Why didn't you call this morning?" He asked. I sucked in a breath, gripping my arm lightly and pinching myself. 

"I'm sorry, I slept in and had to go to work," I responded hurriedly. 

"I'll see you tonight then," His voice was so close to the mic and it sent chills down my spine. I knew what those words meant but it still chilled me. Aren't people supposed to be happy with this sort of outcome. 

He hung up before I could say goodbye and I tucked my phone back into my pocket. 

"Forgot to call your boyfriend?" Mirio asked, smirking at me slightly. I felt my face heat up despite myself. 

Even though my hands shook and my knee's quaked at the very thought of going to Kiyoshi's apartment after work I knew I had to, or he'd break up with me. 

I forced a smile and turned to Mirio. 

"Y-yeah. He didn't seem to mad though," I stammered, ringing my hands. 

Mirio left after I insistently told him that I was fine and didn't need to go home on sick leave and I went back to work for the remaining hours. The rest of the day wasn't to busy, which came as a miracle all things considered. 

Just as I started closing up shop I felt my phone ding in my pocket. 

I opened it up to find a message from Kiyoshi. I clicked and it started opening up a photo. 

I nearly gagged in fear when I saw the image. It was a picture of his bed with an assortment of... toys splayed across, including a pair of revealing lingerie and handcuffs. 

I sucked in a sharp breath. Sex was the thing I hated most about this relationship. I don't know why but some part of me hated doing it with him, despite most of my comrades saying that they enjoyed it. 

The good thing about it being a form of punishment was the fact that he would put a cock ring on me. Which meant that I wouldn't have to force myself to much. 

I drove to his apartment, popping several pills along the way for the pain I knew I was about to experience. It hurt just to imagine it, but it made him happy. So it makes me happy. 

In about two hours he was done and I could barely move. He got changed back into his clothes and left as I lied sprawled across his bed, naked and in pain. 

After a few minutes to myself I sat up, clutching my arms slightly. Bruises has formed along my wrists and ankles thanks to the cuffs. 

I slowly pulled my clothing on, trying my best to stand. He must've been really mad to do this much damage. 

I pitifully walked to my car, even more hunched over than usual. I don't like the pain. 

When I arrived to my dorm I saw Mirio leaned against my door with Nejire next to him. 

Fear flitted through me. What if they realized I was hurt? Kiyoshi would get mad again and he would punish me again. 

Just as I turned to hide in the bathroom I heard Nejire call out to me. 

"Tamaki you get back here right now!" She shouted. She seemed angry. What did I do wrong? Why is she mad at me? 

I shuffled towards them, already feeling tears brim my swollen eyes. I had cried to much at Kiyoshi's place already. 

"Are you okay Tamaki? You seem hurt," Mirio asked softly as he entered my dorm behind me. 

Damnit why was he so perceptive? I nodded slightly. 

Nejire closed the door behind us then crossed her arms across her chest. 

"Well? Care to explain this?" She asked, holding up a bottle. 

Damnit, this is why she's mad. 

This is one more proof of how broken I am. 

--

:)